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Author Topic: Something to think about when out drinking.  (Read 1082 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Something to think about when out drinking.
« on: December 20, 2006, 10:41:42 PM »
A few things to keep in mind and remember over the Christmas period

SYMPTOM ...........................FAULT ..........................ACTION

Feet cold and wet. Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

Feet warm and wet. Improper bladder control. Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

Drink unusually pale and tasteless. Glass empty. Get someone to buy you another drink.

Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. You have fallen over backward. Have yourself lashed to bar.

Mouth contains cigarette butts. You have fallen forward. See above.

Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

Floor blurred. You are looking through bottom of empty glass. Get someone to buy you another drink.
 
Floor moving. You are being carried out. Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

Room seems unusually dark. Bar has closed. Confirm home address with bartender. 

Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures. Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations. Cover mouth.

Everyone looks up to you and smiles. You are dancing on the table. Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

Drink is crystal-clear. It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. Punch him.
 
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. You have been in a fight. Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. You've wandered into the wrong party. See if they have free alcohol.

Your singing sounds distorted. The drink is too weak. Have more alcohol until your voice improves.

Don't remember the words to the song. Drink is just right. Play air guitar.

Have a wonderful time where ever you end up.

Hugs
Jan :-*


 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2006, 10:47:39 PM »
Jan, that's priceless and hysterical!
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2006, 11:01:25 PM »
This should be in every compendium - in every room -  in the hotel Jan...  Thanks for the new perspective on my job..

Merry Drunkmass!

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2006, 11:48:37 PM »
That is a HOOT !

Love it!

~+
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,626
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2006, 11:52:04 PM »
Jan,  let's go out drinking and then go to a casino.....we couldn't do any worse than we did sober!  LOL
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2006, 03:21:48 AM »
Hey Alan..a cocktail in one hand and a fist full of dimes in the other sounds like a perfect night out...but it would have to be something very special  to beat our first night out at the Montreal casino.. :D

Love and hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline AtomicA

  • Member
  • Posts: 156
  • that's Famous with an F
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2006, 03:31:24 AM »
Jan, you are going to come visit me in Calgary and we are going to paint the town red I've decied.
perhaps we'll paint it purple and blue and chartreuse as well!

I will take you to our one and only gay bar and we can get sloppy and dance in the cage!

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2006, 03:45:27 AM »
 :D :D..@Atomic...I knew I could rely on you to add colour to my life..it's always been my lifes ambition to dance in a cage, ... ;)

Let the party begin... :D

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline marco23

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2006, 11:20:12 AM »
That's some shilly sit.......
         Cherry Mristmas!
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Something to think about when out drinking.
« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2006, 11:41:01 AM »
Edited  cause the pic wouldnt show up so its not funny!


LOVE THE POST THO!
« Last Edit: December 21, 2006, 11:42:56 AM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

 


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