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Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

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Poll

Should we launch a new forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?

Yes
53 (62.4%)
No
23 (27.1%)
I don't care either way
9 (10.6%)

Total Members Voted: 85

Author Topic: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?  (Read 8568 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,337
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« on: December 16, 2006, 09:46:01 AM »

Some members of the forums have requested that we launch a forum for the friends, family and lovers of someone HIV+.  I'm open to this idea, but wanted to get a sense of the larger membership here.

Peter

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2006, 09:54:58 AM »
Why?  If those same individuals are welcome in the Living with HIV thread, then I don't see a reason for a separate forum.  Does this mean that ONLY people who are HIV positive can post in the Living with HIV, if this new forum is started?
« Last Edit: December 16, 2006, 10:25:47 AM by Cliff »

Offline Nadine

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  • Posts: 1,253
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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2006, 10:23:59 AM »
Being a person whom "Someone I Care About Has HIV" it doesn't matter to me either way, as long as I can still post in "Living With"

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2006, 10:28:56 AM »
voted "No"

Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,151
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2006, 10:30:34 AM »
Being a person whom "Someone I Care About Has HIV" it doesn't matter to me either way, as long as I can still post in "Living With"

I was thinking of you, Nadine, and a couple of others who post in "Living With" who are not infected, but very much affected, by HIV, and very much a part of the family here.

I change my vote from "don't care" to "NO!".

Offline Longislander

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  • Posts: 2,486
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2006, 10:37:19 AM »
I voted no because I'm not sure what the reason would be to exclude them? Or whether it involves exclusion at all...
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Peter Staley

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  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2006, 10:42:55 AM »
Why?  If those same individuals are welcome in the Living with HIV thread, then I don't see a reason for a separate forum.  Does this mean that ONLY people who are HIV positive can post in the Living with HIV, if this new forum is started?

NO!  We wouldn't change a thing in this forum -- friends/family/lovers would still be welcome here.  This is just offering them a forum exclusively for their situations, and would help them find threads specific to their situations.  Let's face it, there aren't that many threads in Living with specific to their perspective (this is a very busy forum, and threads get pushed down quickly).  And because of the title, HIV- friends/family/lovers may not even know they are welcome here.

Peter

Offline rayvjr

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    • Just Tested Positive.Com
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2006, 10:54:11 AM »
I vote yes.  Our friends, families and lovers face issues of their own due to their relationships with those of us who are HIV positive.  I think it is a great idea to allow a forum for those issues to be addressed.  Good thinking.

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,324
  • His name is Carl.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2006, 11:06:41 AM »
I voted, "Yes"...as long as the "Living With HIV" remains as open as it has been.  I can see this new thread serving a valid function as a sister/subordinate thread to "Living".  I confess that it took me a few days on here to figure out that "Living " was open in scope to negative people impacted via loved ones.  I think it is worth the experiment...close it down in time if it doesn't seem to be a worthwhile addition. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2006, 11:09:59 AM »
I said no.  The more we divide ourselves the less cohesive we become.  VOTE  NO ON SEGREGATION!  Pretty soon it will be a forum for those that got HIV through drug use and one for sex and one for transfusions and one for my spouse gave it to me or WHATEVER.  We are all the same... we have threads within the forum that can address those who deem themselves a seperate subgroup.

Keep us together.....
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline AlanBama

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2006, 11:49:14 AM »
I voted no, but as long as they can still post in Living With, it really doesn't matter to me.   It might be helpful for them to have their own forum.
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2006, 12:03:46 PM »
At first I was thinking no.  But then after reading Peter's comment I think it would be nice for those affected by HIV a specific thread.  It isn't segregation, it is offering yet another avenue to connect with someone.  And after all we are able to visit wherever we wish.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2006, 12:33:11 PM »
I voted no. Don't see the point if they are allowed to post in Living With.

Just my 2 cents...

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,365
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2006, 12:38:40 PM »
Voted Yes. It will soon be proven out whether such a forum's audience awaits. And, given there are no restrictions as to posting in "Living With" everyone of us stands to benefit. When I think of my family, relatives, friends and colleagues who know of my status, i can envision they might want to have a place they could post questions, concerns and encouragement or read the same posted by others. Early on, I was too preoccupied with what was happening to me to even have a clue as to the impact of the news on them. I learned from them it can be staggering, leaving them feeling helpless, uninformed and saddened. Further, I think it could be enlightening to all of us who are positive to have a chance to read their unfiltered, anonymous views. I don't see it as segregation, but offering more options to people who may feel uncomfortable posting in our oft times familial forum.  It's a good idea and as yet untested. A statement likely uttered before AM was begun.

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #14 on: December 16, 2006, 12:52:12 PM »
I changed my vote after Peter's reply. Yes, definitely try it out.  It's true the threads fly off page 1 these days.  Just as someone coming in to get specific help with treatment questions has a clear place to start, so could friends/family/loved ones. They can then venture into who wants to do who  ;) after they're comfortable.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline bluelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 178
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #15 on: December 16, 2006, 01:11:37 PM »
Going with a yes vote.

I know my younger sister who l am close to reads these boards.But she does not post thinking here thinking her questions or thoughts might sound silly.

Maybe "Someone I Care About Has HIV"? might make her feel more comfortable to ask or share her thoughts.

Blue

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #16 on: December 16, 2006, 01:44:24 PM »
I voted 'NO'.  There are already enough different forums to check... living with, treatment questions, and just tested poz that often deal with the same issues.  If it would make people feel more comfortable to post in a new forum, then I guess it would be OK.  I just think that many questions would get overlooked there.  Often, the KISS principle works best.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #17 on: December 16, 2006, 01:53:33 PM »
I voted 'NO'.  There are already enough different forums to check... living with, treatment questions, and just tested poz that often deal with the same issues.  If it would make people feel more comfortable to post in a new forum, then I guess it would be OK.  I just think that many questions would get overlooked there.  Often, the KISS principle works best.

David

I agree with what David said. I voted no.

Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #18 on: December 16, 2006, 01:54:05 PM »
Hi David... and anyone who shares his concern about having another forum to check...

If you use the "Show Unread" link that appears under your user name in the left hand column, then you can keep up on all the new posts in any forum, all on one page. I use this method and I find it's a lot easier.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Jerry71

  • Member
  • Posts: 955
  • {Lexiva, Norvir, Complera} Still Breathing!!!
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #19 on: December 16, 2006, 04:23:11 PM »
I voted NO. I thought this site was really just going to be for people with AIDS. Seems to me as time goes on this site will flop if you keep adding new contents. I say have a site just for people living with HIV. :o

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,277
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #20 on: December 16, 2006, 04:38:22 PM »
I thought this site was really just going to be for people with AIDS. Seems to me as time goes on this site will flop if you keep adding new contents. I say have a site just for people living with HIV.


Jerry,

From the TERMS OF MEMBERSHIP FOR THESE FORMS    The following :

The AIDSmeds.com Forums have been designed for HIV-positive people; their caregivers, friends, family, and loved ones; and people who fear they may have been exposed to the virus and require support while testing -- for educational purposes only



Now... I voted no. I see no problem the way things are now. What I would like to see is a forum for those with HIV and HCV coinfection... Perhaps ?





Ray
« Last Edit: December 16, 2006, 04:40:35 PM by J.R.E. »
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline Boo Radley

  • Member
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  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #21 on: December 16, 2006, 04:45:06 PM »
I voted yes because uninfected people affected by HIV come to AIDSmeds looking for information and this forum would make it clear they were welcome here, too. 

How about a "Someone I think is a rat bastard has HIV" forum as well?  Just tossing out the idea.

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline chemistry001

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    • http://www.mygaydar.com/chemistry001
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #22 on: December 16, 2006, 04:58:01 PM »
Umm, tough one, I hear what both sides say, but after reading what Ann has said about checking unread mail i have voted 'No'.

My first thought was yes as posts do get pushed down so quickly and if your not on here for a day or two then you may have to scroll a few pages to find your thread if it is not one of the popular ones, then as Ann said, there is an easier way to find unread threads which i did not know about so i changed my mind.
There is such a wealth of knowledge knocking around in these pages that too split it up by starting new forums just seems a little crazy.

Paul xXx
Diagnosed 01/08/06
CD4-9, VL->500,000, CD4% 1
Started on Sustiva/combivir 22/08/06 changed to kivexa 18/09/06
02/10/06
CD4-50, VL-1496, CD4% 5
04/12/06
CD4-112, VL-125, CD4% 7.5
22/02/07
CD4-121, VL-<50, CD4% 9
29/05/07
CD4-125, VL-71,(re-done 149), CD4% 11
25/09/07
CD4 -231, VL-74, CD4% 15
Cant remember the next few dates
17/01/08  Kaletra and Truvada
CD4 - 281, VL-115
06/03/08
CD4 - 287, VL-178

Offline HIVworker

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  • HIV researcher
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #23 on: December 16, 2006, 05:30:55 PM »
Then why not also have one on HIV/HepC coinfection or HIV/HepB etc.

R
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline alisenjafi

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  • They say HIV comes from monkeys!
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #24 on: December 16, 2006, 05:33:57 PM »
My feeling is no- but going the way of AIDS activism and it's special niches - I can't help but think the old Roman adage- divide and conquer.
While I do understand that I have little to offer an Asian tranny teenager if one should post by compartmentalizing us , it seems the one thing that brought strength (unity) is being disassembled.
Are we next next to have forums for str8's? Blacks ? Asians? What happens when I venture into another forum?
  It won't be far off when each group start fighting each other for funding- and how easily that will be when we won't recognize each other as simply an infected human. So I must ask- why mimic the gov't?
Just my 2 p
Johnny
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #25 on: December 16, 2006, 05:34:54 PM »
I have read other posts and honestly, I really don't care. I have no problem with the way things are and will not have a problem if you do decide to have a forum for people who knows someone who is poz....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Maestro

  • Member
  • Posts: 225
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #26 on: December 16, 2006, 05:48:02 PM »
Some members of the forums have requested that we launch a forum for the friends, family and lovers of someone HIV+.  I'm open to this idea, but wanted to get a sense of the larger membership here.

Peter

I realize I do not have HIV but someone I care about does.  I certainly don't mean to trivialize the experiences someone who has HIV is going through, but my life has been completly turned upside by caring for someone with HIV.  And by that, I certainly think I am "Living With HIV".  So I think this forum is very appropriate.

As always, I appreciate everything everyone here does.

M

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
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  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #27 on: December 16, 2006, 05:49:49 PM »
Let's face it, there aren't that many threads in Living with specific to their perspective (this is a very busy forum, and threads get pushed down quickly).  And because of the title, HIV- friends/family/lovers may not even know they are welcome here.

Peter


I understand the problem with that. I s there a way to increase the amount of topics per page. Change it from forty to fifty. I have noticed some topics are going  onto  page two, too quickly.


Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline Boo Radley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,252
  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #28 on: December 16, 2006, 06:12:04 PM »
Then why not also have one on HIV/HepC coinfection or HIV/HepB etc.

I demand a forum for all of us with HIV, dysthymia, Social Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Temporo- Mandibular Joint disorder, color-blindness, myopia and presbyopia, who have at least 3 cats and 3 dogs or more. 

Boo,
who knows he's not alone!!

P.S. I was co-infected with Hep B for 3 years but 3TC took care of that so I have no need for such a forum but it might not be a bad idea.
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Peter Staley

  • Member
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  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #29 on: December 16, 2006, 06:24:24 PM »

I understand the problem with that. I s there a way to increase the amount of topics per page. Change it from forty to fifty. I have noticed some topics are going  onto  page two, too quickly.


I increased the topics per page to fifty.  Good suggestion.

Offline David_CA

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  • Joined: March 2006
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #30 on: December 16, 2006, 07:03:50 PM »
Hi David... and anyone who shares his concern about having another forum to check...

If you use the "Show Unread" link that appears under your user name in the left hand column, then you can keep up on all the new posts in any forum, all on one page. I use this method and I find it's a lot easier.

Ann


And I thought I knew this forum inside and out!  Thanks for the tip.  I just assumed that it showed the unread threads in the current forum, duh!   ;)

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Eldon

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #31 on: December 16, 2006, 07:13:37 PM »
Hey Peter...

Given the situation that is open for discussion, it can go either way. However, it would be more beneficial if the members interact with the Living With forum so that they can relate more to a person Living With HIV.



"Don't Give Up, Don't Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"

Offline DanKenny

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #32 on: December 16, 2006, 07:28:45 PM »

I've considered both sides of the issue, and there are some compelling arguments here.  But I would vote "NO" on this one.  Knowing someone who has HIV, and coming online to seek information implies one cares enough about the infected person.  If so, then one of the best places to learn and offer quality support is from experiences of people "Living with HIV".  Creating a separate forum might simply isolate the uninfected helpers. Let them mingle, and learn. 

/DK
My Progress:

09/07:   771   ~    <50     ~   29%
03/07:   493   ~    227      ~   22%
02/07:   Began Meds ~~ ATRIPLA
01/07:   315   ~   45, 000  ~   18%
10/06:   350   ~   32, 430  ~   22%
04/06:   440   ~   23, 997  ~   24%
07/05:   621   ~   36,000   ~   24%
01/05:   842   ~   2306      ~   28%
07/04:   615   ~   3370      ~   27%
04/04:   674   ~   739        ~   26%
11/03:   439   ~   2800      ~   22%
Infected probably around 1997 / Diagnosed 2002

Offline cubbybear

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  • Joined August 2005.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #33 on: December 16, 2006, 07:49:28 PM »
I voted No.

Those people are living with HIV even if they aren't themselves infected and issues discussed in their own forum would be just as well placed to be posted in the living with forum like they always have.  I see no need to double up when they are more than welcome in the living with forum.

Just my AUD $0.02 worth.
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline md

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #34 on: December 17, 2006, 04:02:37 AM »
After reading the respones so far, and after a lot of thought, I voted "yes".

It isn't a very strong "yes" vote and I wouldn't really care very much if the new forum isn't created, but I do think that there is some value in having another forum with a slightly different focus.

Here is why.

I do not have HIV, but my partner does, so in that sense I am "liiving with HIV".
He, however, has advanced ADC and, in a very real sense, the person that I knew and lived with for over 20 years no longer exists. The person that he has become is currently "being kept alive with HIV" and one day, I suppose, will be "dying with HIV". He is, by definition, in a very different state than anyone who still has the mental capacity to post in these forums.

While I have in no way felt unwelcome in the "living with HIV" forum, there are topics involving quality of life, stopping HAART treatment, palliative care and other end of life issues that I have been hesitant to bring up since they seem  to me, at least to some extent, to be off-topic iin a forum for people who are living with HIV. Perhaps some of these issues and, of course, others might be easier to discuss in a form that had a slightly different focus.

In all of this I am assuming that there is not intention to "exclude" anyone from any of the forums, only to provide another corner of this virtual room in which slightly different conversations, of interest to a different but overlapping set of people, can take place.

A footnote:

I just went back and re-read the entire thread again, including my own post, and was struck by the number of references to "them" in other posts. That's also part of the issue - when I post in this forum I am apparently "one of them", not "one of us".

« Last Edit: December 17, 2006, 04:08:33 AM by md »

Offline poet

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  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #35 on: December 17, 2006, 05:38:02 AM »
I voted no.  Having a forum open to caretakers is standard in cancer, etc. with support groups and the like.  But I thought about who would be contributing to it: people seeking support, people with questions, things found on aidsmeds already.  So I pictured post and after post of questions which no one could answer because the people with the answers weren't visiting it.  I myself wouldn't visit it, because the point is the forums, for me, is to spend time with people like myself who are living with hiv. And I thought about GMHC using its funds to reach out to caretakers, and couldn't imagine it either. Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline sweetasmeli

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  • Love what you are...
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #36 on: December 17, 2006, 05:59:09 AM »
Hmmm...I dont think it would do any harm trying it out. If it doesnt seem to be working you can always scrap it. So I'm a yes, try it out, why not?

Or/and you could find some way of making it clearer on the AM homepage that the site is for people living with and/or affected by hiv/aids.

Just my 2pence/2 cents worth (depending on where I am!)...

Miss Melia

PS: Mr Boo: you're funny! :D
« Last Edit: December 17, 2006, 06:02:38 AM by sweetasmeli »
/\___/\       /\__/\
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(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

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Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #37 on: December 17, 2006, 06:05:15 AM »
Peter,

I also believe that a little while back , I had made reference to the possibility of starting a forum for HIV negative caregivers. I bellieve I had mentioned this very lightly in one of Maestro's threads about his uncle. I thought at that time, that his concerns, may end up going off the page ( to page two or three), and not getting the proper support. But in reality , that never happened, and I believe that as I continue reading Maestros threads, he continues to get that support for his uncle, from the members here on the site, Just as others that are negative are getting that support for their loved ones/ spouses. This or course is only  only one particular case. But it's working. This is why I believe another forum, should not be created, and I voted "no". I think that posts may get lost, or may not get responded to, as well as they do in the living with forum.


Just my thoughts  ----Ray





Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline Cliff

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #38 on: December 17, 2006, 06:38:33 AM »
I voted no cause if it impacts people with HIV, then it will likely get missed by those who may need it the most.  With so many forums, I believe most people primarily stick to 1 or 2 for daily/weekly viewing and only use the other forums sporadically.  There are probably other forums that are likely, (I think), to get more usage (specifically, a forum for co-infected individuals).

But at the end of the day, it doesn't hurt to try it out.

Offline blondbeauty

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #39 on: December 17, 2006, 08:07:03 AM »
I think it would be a very good idea and of great help for parents, lovers, friends and relatives in general. If I ever tell my parent I would like them to be able to join such a forum.
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline Iggy

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #40 on: December 17, 2006, 10:00:23 AM »
.





« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 08:43:19 PM by Iggy »

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
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  • 31 Years Poz
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #41 on: December 17, 2006, 01:51:15 PM »
Thank you Peter for continuing to anticipate the needs of these forums and I vote a resounding YES.

I started reading some of the responses and many of you seem to miss the basics of what Peter is offering.  I have been in a sero-discordant relationship and I can attest to the truth that there are very different issues that concern both partners.  Since I was the one with HIV it was my responsibility to manage my health and support Mark if he had concerns.  However, it was not my role to help him understand how it felt to love someone with HIV, because I had never been there.

This is not an issue of dividing or anything else, it is an issue of inclusion.  So many people complain on how misunderstood the HIV community is and here we are debating a forum to support the very people who love and often take care of us pozzies.  They have real needs that we will never understand, you know, the same issues that pozzies have that negative people can rarely understand.

I would hope that we would support such a forum and realize that by doing so, we send a very powerful message to our loved ones about how much we cherish them and want to provide any tools available to help them to help themselves and us.

Maybe the answer would be more clear if we simply viewed this new forum as a logical extension of what we have here.  To me, the thought that we would deny ANYONE infected/affected with/by HIV all that we can offer seems very shortsighted and down right cruel.  Just like us, our supporters deserve the best we can offer.

Offline heartforyou

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  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #42 on: December 17, 2006, 04:03:12 PM »
Yes,

This still is one Forum.
I can imagine that people living with HIV pos people would benefit form each others experiences.
Why not try it out?

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,324
  • His name is Carl.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #43 on: December 17, 2006, 04:23:59 PM »
I voted no.  Having a forum open to caretakers is standard in cancer, etc. with support groups and the like.  But I thought about who would be contributing to it: people seeking support, people with questions, things found on aidsmeds already.  So I pictured post and after post of questions which no one could answer because the people with the answers weren't visiting it.  I myself wouldn't visit it, because the point is the forums, for me, is to spend time with people like myself who are living with hiv. And I thought about GMHC using its funds to reach out to caretakers, and couldn't imagine it either. Win

Peter,

The post I quoted raised some very good points for me to consider.  For one, I'm a bit in the dark about the inner workings behind sites such as this.  What impact (aside from dynamics) does adding or removing forums sections have, in general?  I mean in terms of mechanics, labor involved, costs...all of that nuts and bolts stuff.  I'd be interested in a little insight about that.  I think others would as well.

The second thing is a counter-point to Win's post.  He made the statement that he could see post after post of unanswered questions because the people with the information (us) wouldn't view it.  I'd like to say that if the forum is started, I will make it a point to check on it with consistency.  While I agree that the primary point of the forums is to be 'for us & by us- the poz community', I think this addition could provide a tremendous opportunity to open lines of communication between "us and them".  There is potential to further reduce anxieties, uncertainty & stigma...to further demystify this virus to a wider circle.  That's just got to be an idea worthy of at least trying, right?

~Tim
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #44 on: December 17, 2006, 11:40:18 PM »
Carefull...The site is getting "watered down."
Positive since 1985

Offline thunter34

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  • Posts: 7,324
  • His name is Carl.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #45 on: December 17, 2006, 11:44:17 PM »
Explain how.  Watered down how?  What, in your opinion, was its more 'solid' form?
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline HIVworker

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  • HIV researcher
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #46 on: December 17, 2006, 11:46:23 PM »
Peter, how about some way of putting something to condense someones numbers? A lot of people have them in their signature, which is excellent, but some way of making signatures smaller?

Just another silly idea.
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #47 on: December 18, 2006, 07:52:41 AM »
Peter, how about some way of putting something to condense someones numbers? A lot of people have them in their signature, which is excellent, but some way of making signatures smaller?

Just another silly idea.


There is a limit to how many charactors, that one can use for there signature line. I won't be able to put too much more of my numbers up. I am just about at the limit, so I will have to find another way...




Also Peter:

On the forums home page,Just under Aidsmeds.com ,  how bout adding to "Founded & Operated by people living with HIV... and for family members, loved ones and spouses of those infected with HIV. ( or something to that effect, you no what I mean.)


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #48 on: December 18, 2006, 10:29:46 AM »
I vote yes.

I don't think it will segregate folks, but it will provide a space for affected loved ones to meet, greet and support one another.

Negative loved ones face challenges as well and being able to bounce ideas, situations and concerns off each other may help.

So, that's my 2 worth.

HUGS,

Mark

P.S. Peter, my spell check still isn't working.

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline pozguy75

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Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
« Reply #49 on: December 18, 2006, 10:50:38 AM »
I voted yes...the main reason is, it's great to talk with people who are living with HIV/AIDS, but there are needs and emotions we just can't feel sometimes...I think it would be nice to have our family members who want to discuss coping measures, and other feelings with people who feel the exact same way...in their own safe environment.

It's not a matter of segregation, because they can still come in here ask questions to those are are living with it...but, it gives them a place to meet, discuss, and support each other in a way that we, well, can't.
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

 


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