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Author Topic: Really seriously need some advice!!!  (Read 7610 times)

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Offline axdadm

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Really seriously need some advice!!!
« on: August 18, 2007, 01:53:02 PM »
I might of had exposure 21 Months ago now. The exposure was in Indonesia and it involved some hand to genital contact (Sorry to sound crude but fingering of a female to be exact, and there may have been some cuts around the cuticles but i cant be sure if they were really there and how deep they would have been), She performed oral sex (unprotected) on me and then followed by protected sex.

I had the P24 Antigen + Antibody test approximately 4-6 weeks after this event which came back negative. But in recent months I have been feeling anxiety and just wanted confirmation of this test result... Was it to early to take it? At the time the doctor didn't recommend any follow up tests but I am now a little paranoid.

1: Am I at risk from Oral Sex?

2: I noticed that I had some tearing around my cuticles which could have been open but not entirely sure... if this was the case would the fingering put me at risk?

I have read that the above mentioned test could be quite deceiving since there is a window period where the Antigens Disappear but it is still too early for the detectable antibodies to appear which would then produce a negative result which obviously could be wrong since it could have been in the window period i just mentioned.

Does this sound accurate at all to you or am I first of all just being paranoid about the exposure to start with and secondly about the method of testing.

So as i took take this test at say between 30-45 days could I be confident in its result?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2007, 01:57:25 PM »
You were never at risk.

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2007, 06:09:19 PM »
To be fair I kind of thought that would be the answer and I do appreciate it...

Is that the consensus regarding my sort of activity?

Also if you don't mind me asking and it is probably ignorance more than anything but how can one be so sure that Receiving a blow job is no risk as bodily fluids are involved?

Also regarding the Fingering incident... again how could one be so sure that this is not a place where HIV can be contracted as if one had a cut of=n the finger then surely this would provide an point of entry?

Thank you for your help

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2007, 06:40:16 PM »
There has never been anyone infected by receiving a blowjob or fingering, since the beginning of HIV.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2007, 09:18:15 PM »
AX, it doesn't matter how many more details your worried mind comes up with, neither of the activities you're concerned about put you at risk for HIV transmission.

As Rod has told you, in the entire history of the epidemic there's never been a documented case of HIV transmisson to a guy getting a blowjob. We feel quite safe in saying you're not going to make history by becoming the first.

Fingering including with nicks, bruises, cuts, scratches and whatever on your hands or fingers are ditto for no risk. HIV is a fragile virus and requires a much more receptive and friendly environment like a vagina or an anus to settle in.

You're worrying needlessly and there's no need for testing. Get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2007, 04:17:04 AM »
Thank you Andy and I will get on with my life...

but just one final thing...you say it require a much better enironment like a vagina or an anus... well fingering involves a person inserting their finger into a vagina? or did I completely mis interpret what you said?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2007, 05:22:28 AM »
Unless you haven't looked lately, there is a big difference between your penis and your finger. Well that goes for most. There has never been an HIV infection caused by fingering.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2007, 09:25:07 AM »
Fingering is another activity which has never been documented as a means of transmission. Unlike the urethra of the penis, (or the underside of the foreskin if a guy is not circumcised), a finger, even with nicks, cuts, bruises, etc., does not offer access to the bloodstream.

And even assuming the woman you're fingering is HIV+, the area of the vagina where secretions would be which are likely to include HIV are in the cervical area, which you would not be reaching by ordinary fingering.

Andy Velez

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2007, 09:39:22 AM »
Rapidrod: Thanks you for your reply... That truely did make me smile...

Andy: Ok fair enough i understand what you are saying about the area in which it is located... but "what if" the female was or just came off of her menstral period and you were to come into contact with the blood with your finger containing some sort of cut? Has that never happened?

Sorry for all of these questions, just tryng to educate myself

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2007, 09:59:27 AM »
Do you know of any guy that has fingered a girl with an active bleeding lacerated finger? Do you know of any girl that would let a guy finger her if he had a bleeding laceration on his finger?

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2007, 10:29:05 AM »
No but I do know girls that would let a guy finger her while she was on her period and I do know guys that would fingr a girl on her period with possibly some cuts around their cuticles...

Offline Ann

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2007, 10:42:49 AM »
ax,

Dodgy cuticles are a far cry from what Rodney's is talking about. A laceration is generally understood to be a deep cut - one that would likely require stitches.

Nicks, small superficial cuts, hangnails, scrapes, none of these things on your hands would put you at risk during fingering.

Hiv can only latch onto and infect a few, very specific types of cells. These cells are not found in the outer layers of skin - you need a deep cut to access them.

The cells hiv favours are found in the linings of your rectum and urethra. Read the condom and lube links in my signature line, then make sure you use them for anal or vaginal intercourse, and you'll avoid hiv infection.

It really is that simple!

Ann



edited for a *$%& typo
« Last Edit: August 19, 2007, 10:46:09 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2007, 10:13:52 AM »
Fingering is another activity which has never been documented as a means of transmission. Unlike the urethra of the penis, (or the underside of the foreskin if a guy is not circumcised), a finger, even with nicks, cuts, bruises, etc., does not offer access to the bloodstream.

And even assuming the woman you're fingering is HIV+, the area of the vagina where secretions would be which are likely to include HIV are in the cervical area, which you would not be reaching by ordinary fingering.



Hey Andy,

Thanks for your comments, one last quick question you say that small cuts do not offer access to the bloodstream... excuse my ignorance but if you have a cut an it produces blood is this not your blood stream?

This isn't meant to sound sarky in the slightest it is a genuine question...


Ann: Thanks for your feedback as well


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2007, 11:26:12 AM »
Whether you are able to see it or not, your skin begins closing up small cuts and nicks very, very quickly. We would have known long before today if such things presented a viable risk.

And if you had a cut of any significance from which blood was freshly pouring, stop and think for a moment, would that be when you would be fingering someone? Hardly. And in any case, you would not be reaching the cervical area.

Don't let your fears run the show with scenarios that just don't happen.
Andy Velez

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2007, 01:54:22 PM »
Ok fair enough but the girl was just coming off of her period so there may have been some of her blood present...

Offline Ann

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2007, 06:49:20 PM »
ax,

It doesn't make a difference where she was in her menstrual cycle. You weren't at risk from fingering her. Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Period. End of story.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2007, 07:12:18 PM »
I know you guys have already answered my question on the fingering aspect but I was wondering if you could tell me what your understanding is of the P24 Antigen + HIV Antibody test Also Known as the DUO test).

This was the test I had maybe just under 6 weeks after the even and thankfully I had a negative result. But obviously since 2 years ago hen I had the test my mind has been playing really cruel games on me and I keep thinking what if I am that exception to the rule...

Do you guys know whether or not i can have confidence in this test result?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2007, 07:14:35 PM »
Yes you can be confident in the result of the DUO test for two reasons:

1. It's an excellent test that delivers accurate results when used properly and;
2. You didn't have a risk therefore your negative is conclusive.

MtD

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2007, 07:21:14 PM »
hey matty ok... Thank you so at my time of testing... approx under 6 weeks just... my test is basically conclusive?

Also is it really true no one haas ever been infected from receiving a blow job or fingering a lady even with cuts on the fingers? and maybe coming into contct with menstral blood?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #19 on: October 16, 2007, 07:34:32 PM »
Yup your six week test is conclusive because you've not done anything that is a risk for transmitting HIV.

And yes it is true that nobody has ever been infected from copping a hummer or fingering a woman when they've got cuts on those fingers.

You don't have HIV.

Ya dig?

MtD

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2007, 07:45:15 PM »
I dig  :)

Thank you Matty...  I know it sounds stupid but my mind rally does know how to push my buttons to the extent where everything seems to be a sign!


Online anniebc

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #21 on: October 16, 2007, 07:49:11 PM »
Quote
And yes it is true that nobody has ever been infected from copping a hummer or fingering a woman when they've got cuts on those fingers.

You don't have HIV.

Ya dig?

MtD

This is the 10th time you have been told this...NOW do you believe it?..you really need to start listening to what they are saying to you.

Believe me the experts know what they are talking about..you were never at risk, you are HIV negative so listen to them, take their advise and move on...you have nothing to worry about.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #22 on: October 25, 2007, 06:48:10 PM »
OK I thought I would post this last post just to try and help anyone else that suffers the anxiety like I did...

As I am sure you can all see above what my situation was and how I reacted...

The fact is that I went to my local HIV clinic last week and got another test which would be about 2 years after the event... anyway it came back negative thankfully and I am able to move on with my life.

A few interesting things came up with my visit to the clinic though... the first thing the doctor asked me was is my wife pregnant... she actually is with our nd child...

he then proceeded to say that he gets many patients in with the same sough of reoccurring fear years after an incident which they had already been tested for. He mentioned that it is the guilt of the incident in the first place fueled by the fear that you may pass on this illness to someone you love so dearly and so innocent 9your unborn child).

Anyway the point of this post was that I had a low risk/No risk encounter rather and I didn't listen to any of the experts. They told me repeatedly that I didn't have a risk and as a result could move on with my life.

Unfortunately I didn't/couldn't listen to them and as a result spent months or pure torment before I finally went and had another test. Frankly the experts were right and I wish I had the mental capacity to listen to them.

So thank you Andy, Ann, Matty, Rapid Rod and Annie you guys were very helpful and supportive and I appologize for my constant posting of the same question....

You guys are quite literally the best

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #23 on: December 25, 2008, 02:42:11 PM »
Hi I was wondering if you could tell me the risks of Cunnilingus and Getting a blowjob? Has anybody ever contracted HIV this way?

A few weeks ago I took part in both activities multiple times over a few days with the same girl... she is my new girlfriend but I am now panicking really badly.

Please help do I need to worry? The sex was protected but the oral both ways wasn't.

Merry Christmas People!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #24 on: December 25, 2008, 04:26:10 PM »
Not a risk.

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #25 on: December 26, 2008, 04:12:33 PM »
thanks for the response.

by the way could you tell me how you can be so sure that the two activities are no risk... in your transmission page you mention of two cases in the past of cunnilingus transmission.

what if i had some bleeding gums in my mouth (not bad) but i had just brushed my teeth?

i can understand saying low risk but no risk?

sorry i just want to make sure that i am not irresponsible i hope you understand.

i have read that you guys say that it is the cervicovaginal juices which are infectious but how do you know that and how can we be sure that we wouldn't come into contact with these during cunnilinugus?

sorry for all questions but i hope if i understand more then i will be able to relive some of these anxieties as otherwise i fear i may never be able to have a normal relationship with someone if i always live in fear.

i hope you understand

merry christmas everyone and thank you for all of your help

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #26 on: December 26, 2008, 04:17:37 PM »
We're not here to hold your hand everytime you have another sexual experience. As far as HIV transmission sexually it's really very simple. Just always use condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse and you will be well protected. All other activities are risky only in theory. In the real world of HIV there are no confirmed transmissions via oral and other activities.

Always use latex condoms and you'll be fine as far as HIV is concerned sexually.
Andy Velez

Offline axdadm

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Oral - Cunnilingus
« Reply #27 on: December 29, 2008, 01:08:07 AM »
Hi,

I hear what you are saying and I understand I think... however even though you have told me this the anziety and fear still seems to grip me... why is it that even though you guys are telling me this about how it is transmitted that the "in theory" part is the only thing that seems to go through to my brain and I end up saying well if in theory it is possible then maybe...

Also could please tell me if there has ever been confirmed cases of giving cunnilingus resulting in HIV?

Again i have read that you guys say that it is the cervicovaginal juices which are infectious but how do you know that and how can we be sure that we wouldn't come into contact with these during cunnilinugus and indeed that these are the only infectious fluids that are present in the vagina that we should worry about?

Lastly when all of you guys say No Risk is this based on scientific evidence or just the fact that it happens so rarely that it isn't worth worrying about and hence a low risk situation turns to no risk.

Thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #28 on: December 29, 2008, 02:40:25 AM »
My suggestion to you is, don't have sex at all if it is going to put you into an anxiety frenzy everytime you do and seeking professional mental help to deal with your issues.

Offline Ann

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #29 on: December 29, 2008, 11:21:14 AM »
ax,

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

If you've done anything to put yourself at risk, we'd tell you. You haven't. Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned.

Keep posting over these no risk incidents and you'll be given a time out. Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #30 on: December 31, 2008, 03:00:09 AM »
hi i am sorry about that I thought it would be ok to ask a question since I hadn't in over a year.

just one more thing... the following site (http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp‏) used to have an STD chart which stated that HIV could not be contracted from perfroming Oral on a female. However this has now been taken down and the only thing I can find on the San Fransisco health site now says that it is low risk but no risk...

Is there a reason they would have changed their stance? New scientific information?

thank you

Offline Ann

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #31 on: December 31, 2008, 03:40:36 AM »
ax,

Do you think we're mind readers? If you want to know why the content has changed on some other website, go ask them.

The information hasn't changed here. Going down on a woman is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline gunthersam

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #32 on: December 31, 2008, 09:27:23 AM »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #33 on: December 31, 2008, 09:33:43 AM »
gunthersam, keep all your posts in your own thread and DO NOT post in other peoples threads. Read the posting guidelines like you should have done before you ever began posting. 

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #34 on: January 20, 2009, 05:41:07 PM »
hi guys happy new year...

I have been trying to get on with my life and not act like such an idiot...

however today just now I came onto this board and read the post about a possible positive from receiving a blowjob so I was wondering if that meant that something new had been uncovered which pointed to a possible risk from oral sex either receiving a blow job or going down on a woman?

thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #35 on: January 20, 2009, 05:46:24 PM »
NO. there is no risk of contracting HIV from oral sex.

Offline axdadm

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #36 on: August 19, 2009, 01:03:04 AM »
Hi there,

I was wondering if I could get some quick clarification on something.

Last week whilst I took part in a football match. After this I noticed that I was bleeding on my hand a little bit. After cleaning it up it seemed as though the cut was caused by someones finger nail.

So I was wondering if it was possible for HIV to be passed on this way, via someone inflicting a cut on me with something lie their finger nail?

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #37 on: August 19, 2009, 04:17:00 AM »
No.  Seek professional mental help for your phobias.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Really seriously need some advice!!!
« Reply #38 on: August 19, 2009, 06:05:25 PM »
HIV is a fragile virus. It is not passed in such a relatively casual manner as you are concerned about. You are worrying unnecessarily. There is no need for testing nor for further concern on your part about this incident.

In order to be transmitted, HIV needs the kind of receptive setting which unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse offers. Everything else is risky only in theory, not in the real world of HIV.
Andy Velez

 


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