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Author Topic: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.  (Read 3404 times)

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Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« on: December 12, 2006, 09:33:06 AM »
Hi my name is Al

I am 26 years old and i was diagnosed with HIV last week. It has been the most difficult week of my life and have not slept in days. Although i feel some symptoms I am not that weak. I pray every hour of the day and have hope that i will get better and perhaps there will be better medications in the near future.

Can anyone tell me how you coped the first few weeks. I live with 2 sisters and only told one. I am too scared to tell my eldest sister she will be so SAD. How do i tell my old fashioned parents? Please pray for me guys.
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,358
  • 28 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2006, 11:55:54 AM »
Hello Al,

I think the name you have chosen says it all. Hope is one of the greatest supports we have.

Welcome to the forums. I am sorry for the reason you have found us, but glad you did.

Regarding the first few weeks, the first thing you should do is try to take some deep breaths and try to relax a little. I know this is easier said than done, but stress and panic won't help you.

Have you found a doctor yet? It is very important to find a knowledgeable doc who can help guide you along this path.

I would check out the lessons here at this site. Knowledge is power. But take it a bit at a time. There is a lot to learn so don't overwhelm yourself.

 I don't know where you live, but if there is an AIDS Service Organization nearby, contact them. They can help you access services, recommend doctors, etc.

Even though it sounds like a platitude, also keep in mind you are not alone in this. Feel free to ask any questions you have and someone here will be glad to help if they can. This is a great place to rant, question or just let it out.

The first year after diagnosis is difficult, mainly because you are adjusting to this addition to your life. Please don't feel shy about coming here.

If its is any consolation, I have lived more than 21 years with the bug. So, at least I can say there is life after diagnosis - and it has been a great life and it isn't over yet.

Take care of yourself and don't worry about disclosing, telling others of you diagnosis. When the time is right, you will know it.

HUGS,

Mark

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline marco23

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2006, 01:50:40 PM »
Hi Al! 

Mark gave some great advice, take your time and search for information.  Everything can be overwhelming, especially w/ emotions.  Go at your own pace, you'll know when it's right to tell your sister. This is such a great forum, I've been here for a short time and I've felt so much support. Hey, I've been positive for 13 years and on meds for three....don't panic, people are here to help and support.  :D

Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline Javicho

  • Member
  • Posts: 268
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2006, 01:54:40 PM »
Welcome, the first weeks are allways the worst, but don't worry you find a good place for advice. About your Sister give your self some time and you will know and she is ready or you are ready to talk. I talk to my brothers 2 years after I found out my status.
Try to post all your concerns and fears and you will see how helpful this people are. Never give up your hope :-*

Javier

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2006, 06:31:34 PM »
Welcome, everyone above is right, take things slowly. The only thing you need to do is get further testing to see where you lab #'s are, and find support. This is a great place to be , I'm glad you found us so soon. Talk to us about everything you want to, we'll be here.

Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,960
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2006, 09:18:23 PM »
Hello Al,

Welcome to the forums ! When I was diagnosed positive in October of 1985, I spent the balance of that year, and just about all of 1986, totally intoxicated. I look back at it, and it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but that is what I did. I was a big ol booze hound back then anyway !! After that, I made serious changes to my lifestyle, and eventually pulled it somewhat together !!


I know that recieving a positive diagnosis is a mind altering experience. Its normal to be scared, along with a half dozen other emotions running through your mind all the time. It has only been a week. You will come to grips with this in time. each one of us handles our diagnosis in their own way. I would suggest, that you continue talking with your sister at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if she may mention this to your other sister. You need to be able to communicate your thoughts, to someone you trust. There is no way, any of us, can do this on our own. Its not neccessary at this point to tell your parents. When the time is right, I am sure you will know it ! Take your time. You have plenty of time.

As Mark suggested, Make sure to read the lessons portion of the site, and when you have questions or concerns, don't be afraid to ask them.



Take care of yourself------Ray


PS by the way !!! I am not suggesting to you, to go out and get yourself intoxicated for 18 months !!
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of DEC 9th, 2013,  t-cells are at 437 Viral load  <40 .

 Current % is at 16% (L)

  
 62 years young.

Offline jcmiami

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2006, 09:29:12 PM »
Yipes, I found out I was diagnosed with advanced HIV disease (politically correct name for AIDS now) one month ago - believe when I tell you denial, terror and numbness all happened within a minute. What calmed me down was educating myself about the disease in these forums, websites, etc(check out www.thebody.com too). I have a great doc. too who told me people are now living decades and entire lifetimes with this disease. You will find out that by taking your meds. you will be fine ( I doing good now, a month afterwards on meds). Telling people was hard, I told my closest friends and family only...it is not an easy thing to talk about. If you are still feeling bad, find a counselor that specializes in HIV counseling. If you can't find one, use us!!
« Last Edit: December 12, 2006, 09:32:28 PM by jcmiami »

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2006, 10:20:20 PM »
Hey Ihavehope...

I know what you mean about the old fashioned folks. You have to break the news to them gently. At this point, take it one day at a time and do the things that you need to do.

In my own way, I wish to extend to you a WARM WELCOME here at the AM forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.


We have a great group of Real People who will listen as well as answer you. We are here to Encourage, Learn, and Help one another as we all walk on our journey in this life.

With the consideration of implementing a Positive Mental Attitude, it will also assist you on your journey in this life as well as having a Positive Impact on your immune system.

In fact, through your Positive Mental Attitude, it will help you push forward through all of the obstacles on your path that you are now walking on.

Talking to other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time.

Often the act of writing and the ability to “see” your feelings leads to therapeutic insights and solutions. .

In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, and some Omega 3, because it is all up to YOU where YOU want to be.

Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes per day, as this will do you good to help keep that stress away.

"Don't Give Up, Don't Give In... Cause it is all within you to WIN!"

Offline dingowarrior

  • Member
  • Posts: 191
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2006, 10:19:55 AM »
hi, and i'm sorry for your diagnosis.
you will find that once you get this virus under control,that having this condition is actually the easy part(as long as you stick to your meds regimen).
the hardest part is mental. i can honestly say that in time, your mental stress will ease.that will come with forums like this,chat with people here. talk and ask about anything thats on your mind relating to this issue. in time,you will grow stronger..i promise.
you are not alone..we will listen,and advise. BE STRONG.

Offline koi1

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
Re: I tested positive Last week. I am so scared.
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2006, 04:18:28 PM »
Hey,

I just tested positive on 11/20.  Remember that you don't have to disclose to your parents if you don't feel it would be helpful or it would cause them too much distresss. I chose not to tell my family, but my ex called them out and took it upon himself to tell them. I was not ready to tell anyone yet. You should do it when you are ready, or if you feel that their support would help you fight this disease. I have not told my mother because she is not well, and the news would do more harm than good. My family, though I didn't want them to know, has been very supportive and has taken this opportunity to make it clear how much they love me and want to support me. Hang in there, and remember that there are a lot of treatment options for you to live a long healthy, productive life. You just have to make changes in your life to optimize your treatment success. I am taking it as an opportunity to examine my life and make it better, more meaningful.

rob

« Last Edit: December 24, 2006, 07:01:01 AM by koi1 »
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

 


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