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Author Topic: Please help me  (Read 1836 times)

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Offline frankytheman

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  • Posts: 5
Please help me
« on: June 08, 2010, 12:46:59 PM »
Hi,

I have to open a new topic because i am too scared of my encounter and need your advice please.
I 'm a married and uncircumsized man and I had relation with a hiv+ woman. I know she has HIV and may have other STDs too, because she prostituted her already. We didnt have sex, but the following arrived:
She put her finger into her vagina and then touched immediately the unprotected head of my penis. She surely had some vaginal fluid on it. She wanted to use it as lubrification i think. She touched it two times for a second or so and then she rubbed with her fingernail over the same area on my unrotected penis glans. the amount of vaginal fluid wasn't so visible, but i felt this wet feeling on my penis. I didn't wash it. I stopped immediately and had no sex and drove home, where I washed it my some handsoap. That probably caused me pain when urinating and some inflammation on my penis. I never used this before. It was with alcool benzyl and parfum. Did this increase my risk? Because it irritated my skin?

I was foolish to do that and I will never do things like that in future!

I knew about PEP, but that was too expensive for me and this would have forced me to tell my wife. Three weeks later I developed some red spots (raised and red) on my underarms, that disappeared 2 days later. I panic because i never had that before. No other symptoms remarked. No fever or so.

Well I ask myself if I really was at risk. I read on the interned and some write yes and others no. I want to know if I have to do a HIV-test or not before having unprotected sex with my wife.

Thnaks for your help!

Franky

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please help me
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2010, 01:05:24 PM »
Franky,

You were absolutely NOT at risk during this encounter.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where hiv never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

When hiv finds itself outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

This means that it does not matter if she had vaginal fluid on her finger when she touched your penis.

You did NOT have a risk and you do NOT need to test. You did NOT need PEP either.

NO RISK.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline frankytheman

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Please help me
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2010, 06:43:14 AM »
WOO-HOO!
Are you really sure? Does HIV really become inactive during the first seconds out of the body, because the contact was nearly immediately.
I can't nelieve that i was so stupid to do such a thing. And you really know I never was at risk?
Well the problem are the red spots. I never had this before and they left small lesions.

Thnaks!!!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help me
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2010, 06:55:01 AM »
The area of the vagina where there could be HIV in the fluids is not where she (or you) would have been touching with a finger. It's high up in the cervical area. So that fingering she did could not even have remotely been a risk.

Frankly we see this kind of situation again and again when a partner has strayed and then has fears afterwardas which are all out of proportion to any potential risk. You did what you did and you can't undo that. You need to breathe, see it and let it go.

As for the spots you are concerned about, if they persist you should discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.

If there was any risk we would tell you so. There wasn't. You need to move on with your life.
« Last Edit: June 09, 2010, 07:00:08 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline frankytheman

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Please help me
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2010, 08:00:48 AM »
Thank's for your answers Andy and Ann!!!

I just want to ask your opinion as experts because of the red spots. I feared that this could be the rash of ARS and a sign of primary HIV infection
Today I got a new red spot on my underarm. It is raised, red and hurts a bit when I touch it.
This is now 11 days after the first spots arrived. These have all disappeared.
Is this a sign that it is not a symptom of ARS? Or can the rash over a period of 11 days.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,402
Re: Please help me
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2010, 08:04:04 AM »
I've already told you that those spots are something for you to discuss with your doctor.

In the matter of ARS, the rash which sometimes appears doesn't come in bits and places over a matter of days. As with all ARS, if they are going to show up it's all at once, remains for a couple of weeks and then are gone.

You are worrying needlessly about HIV. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline frankytheman

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Please help me
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2010, 08:15:23 AM »
So it comes together and not over days as in my case. I thanks you Andy for this informations!!
But I can't show the doctor this spot because he would think I've got crazy ;) and probably throw me out!

I thank you for your patience and your informations!!!

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please help me
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2010, 08:29:10 AM »
Franky,

Whatever your spots are, they're not hiv related. The rash that sometimes  accompanies seroconversion is not raised and does not hurt or itch. It looks similar to sunburn, but without the pain. You wouldn't even know you had it if you didn't see it.

You haven't had a risk for hiv infection, so give it up and get on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline frankytheman

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Please help me
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2010, 08:33:09 AM »
Hello Ann.

Yes I'll go on and I thank you a lot ! All respect for the (good !) work you're doing here!

 


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