Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 28, 2014, 04:50:41 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 647753
  • Total Topics: 49365
  • Online Today: 210
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 3
Guests: 133
Total: 136

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: highly concerned  (Read 5338 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline foolboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
highly concerned
« on: June 21, 2006, 01:04:40 AM »
I had protected oral and vaginal sex with a sex worker 3-4 days ago. Total insertion time was less than one minute. I just woke up from a nap covered in sweat and feeling fatigued. Obviously, I'm very concerned about this. Any insight. Can nigh sweats occur this early in an infection?

According to other posts I had NO RISK but I am having trouble accepting that.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2006, 01:10:20 AM »
I had protected oral and vaginal sex with a sex worker 3-4 days ago. Total insertion time was less than one minute. I just woke up from a nap covered in sweat and feeling fatigued. Obviously, I'm very concerned about this. Any insight. Can nigh sweats occur this early in an infection?

According to other posts I had NO RISK but I am having trouble accepting that.

Well you may be having trouble accepting it, but it's a fact. There is no risk for HIV from what you describe. You don't need to test. You do need to read our very snazzy Welcome Thread in which you'll learn that symptoms mean nothing when it comes to diagnosing HIV.

Anything, including stress could be causing the non specific symptoms you report. Anything, that is, but HIV given that you had protected sex.

Regards,

MtD

Offline HIVworker

  • Member
  • Posts: 918
  • HIV researcher
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2006, 01:20:12 AM »
No risk at all and yes, that's way too early for symptoms related to ARS. So the symptoms are certainly something else.

R
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2006, 01:22:42 AM »
R,

I love what you've done with your hair, babe.  ;)

MtD

Offline foolboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2006, 01:29:29 AM »
Thanks for the response.

What exactly does NO RISK mean? If you were in a longterm marriage using unprotected sex and you slipped up with this NO RISK situation this once, would you take that to the bank and return to the unprotected sex with your faithful wife or lover? I feel like a dog and the thought is scaring the hell out of me.

Are night sweats attributable to my high anxiety perhaps?

Offline foolboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2006, 01:34:47 AM »
It nags me that some estimates put the number of HIV/AIDS infections in this country put the the number close to 1 million. That's 1 in 300. With such low probability of aids infections per unprotected incident, and the apparent ease of creating a no risk encounter, How the hell did all these poor people get so unlucky?

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2006, 01:36:45 AM »
Thanks for the response.

What exactly does NO RISK mean? If you were in a longterm marriage using unprotected sex and you slipped up with this NO RISK situation this once, would you take that to the bank and return to the unprotected sex with your faithful wife or lover? I feel like a dog and the thought is scaring the hell out of me.

Are night sweats attributable to my high anxiety perhaps?

"NO RISK" means exactly that. There is no risk that you will contract HIV from having protected vaginal or oral sex. What you're experiencing is an attack of the guilts because you've gone and done cheated. You believe that your immoral behaviour will be punished by an angry god with AIDS. This is a common mindset amongst the worried wells who post here.

Well HIV/AIDS is not a punishment for immoral behaviour, it's just a disease brother. And you didn't catch it from having protected sex.

Regards,

MtD

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2006, 01:39:22 AM »
It nags me that some estimates put the number of HIV/AIDS infections in this country put the the number close to 1 million. That's 1 in 300. With such low probability of aids infections per unprotected incident, and the apparent ease of creating a no risk encounter, How the hell did all these poor people get so unlucky?

I'm HIV positive and I'm not a "poor" (except in the money sense) nor an "unlucky" person. I'm a person who had unprotected receptive and insertive anal sex on numerous occasions. One day I was infected. Citing numbers and trying to work out probabilities is really not what this is about.

Have protected sex and you won't have to worry about HIV. It all in the Welcome Thread.

Regards,

MtD

Offline foolboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2006, 01:43:11 AM »
M-
I apologize if I offended you. My choice of wording was "poor". I certainly didn't mean to minimize the condition.

I've just seen alot of odds thrown around on this site in reading the posts so I was trying to relate the two.


Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #9 on: June 21, 2006, 01:51:01 AM »
M-
I apologize if I offended you. My choice of wording was "poor". I certainly didn't mean to minimize the condition.

I've just seen alot of odds thrown around on this site in reading the posts so I was trying to relate the two.



Foolboy,

You didn't offend me. It's cool. I'm much more ferocious when I'm offended. ;)

It is important that you choose terms like "poor" and "unlucky" very carefully when you talk about HIV+ people though. We can be prickly if we think we're being patronised. But I don't think that was your intent.

Some people chuck numbers and odds around when they discuss the various risks. I try to avoid it. Numbers about things like this are not terribly meaningful. They don't have a great deal of relevance when it comes to everyday life. So here's what you need to know:

You had protected sexual intercourse. You didn't place yourself at risk of contracting HIV.

Regards,

MtD

Offline foolboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #10 on: June 21, 2006, 02:11:41 AM »
MtD-

Thanks for your input and the patience that you and so many others on this forum exhibit in rehashing this and similar scenarios over and over again with newbies like myself. It somehow means more when its directed to my own posting even though what you said has certainly been said before to others.

The thought still doesn't escape me that my situation is the one exception, but I suppose that just takes time.

I've certainly learned a great deal on this forum.

FB

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #11 on: June 21, 2006, 02:16:59 AM »
To the best of my knowledge, there is only one published piece of research that tries to put a number - per - incident insofar as HIV is concerned.

That single study, quoted more often than anything I have EVER seen on the web, has been discredited. Moreover, it discredits ITSELF in the body of its own work, admitting that it makes up most of the numbers from scratch.

Bad science. It's worse than none at all. And for reasons which constantly elude me (laziness?) it is still quoted by jackassess on thebody.com and other pseudo-informational sites. And yeah, you can tell them I said that. Especially Dr Fransisco.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline foolboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #12 on: June 21, 2006, 02:27:17 AM »
I may be mixing up sites as far as quotations of odds are concerned as I've certainly scoured the web in these last few days. I was thinking in terms of the oft cited 1 in 2000 for vaginal insertive, or 1 in 1000 for anal insertive, unprotected with an HIV+ partner.

FB

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2006, 02:35:50 AM »
yeah, guess what. Same study. because there has only been the one. And its crap.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2006, 02:38:40 AM »
I may be mixing up sites as far as quotations of odds are concerned as I've certainly scoured the web in these last few days. I was thinking in terms of the oft cited 1 in 2000 for vaginal insertive, or 1 in 1000 for anal insertive, unprotected with an HIV+ partner.

FB

FB,

I had unprotected anal for almost 15 years before I was infected. Some people are infected on their first encounter. Numbers like 1 in 1000 or whatever are bullshit. Use condoms and you won't have to fret about it.

Take care,

MtD
(Who thinks Dr Bob is a twat)

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #15 on: June 21, 2006, 05:23:44 AM »
fool,

I'm going to chime in here to repeat that you used condoms and therefore had no risk of hiv infection.

I used to buy into all that crap, thinking that statistically I would never become hiv positive. I did. Statistics mean nothing when it comes down to individuals.

However, if I had been as smart as you and also used condoms, I would not be hiv positive now. (hindsight is fab, but useless! ~sigh~) Use condoms and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Please read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use those condoms with confidence.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline HIVworker

  • Member
  • Posts: 918
  • HIV researcher
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #16 on: June 21, 2006, 07:50:50 AM »
I echo everything here, esp what Ann just said.

I understand why you are worried, but you didn't do anything wrong in terms of protecting yourself from STD infection. Protected sex was the smart thing to do. I feel you might be concerned because maybe it might have been the wrong thing to do for you (if you are married). Don't let post-sex guilt cloud the issue here, it's not an HIV situation.

R

PS. Matty, my new hair style is a computer image of HIV Env. I was going to put up my real photo again, but I look like a dork.
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,206
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #17 on: June 21, 2006, 08:27:44 AM »
FB, fortunately feelings aren't facts.

Using a condom is a fact. They provide very effective protection against HIV. So in the incident you are concerned about you were well protected and there's no need for further concern about HIV. Really. No kidding.

Guilt is a feeling and that's a whole other matter. You're a dog like the rest of us and you went straying. You can't undo that particular bit of your personal history. And it's no tribute to your higher character or an act of love on your part to continue to torture yourself with guilt.

The best thing you can do for all concerned is to accept you did what you did, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. And avoid situations in the future which are going to make you feel like s**t  afterwards.

Happily this time out there's no cause for further concern about HIV nor about transmitting it to your wife. Really.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline foolboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #18 on: June 21, 2006, 10:27:44 AM »
Thanks for the support all. I managed to get some sleep without soaking myself in sweat last night and I think you guys are to be credited with that.

I suppose this is technically off topic here, but Im trying to manage closure on potential exposure to anything else that might have slipped by...Herpes, HPV, Chlymidia, Gonorreah, Syphillis, Hep, Crabs, etc.  It's a little overwhelming. I'm trying to figure out if I should just test for whats possible to detect at this point and then have a full panel after all the windows. I don't think her or I have ever tested for anything in the past but HIV and that was 7 years ago...and we've been otherwise monogamous since.

FB

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: highly concerned
« Reply #19 on: June 21, 2006, 11:37:10 AM »
Fool,

If you have any doubts about your sexual health, the only thing for it is to have a complete sexual health care check up. You are likely to be worrying over nothing, but it is true that the other sexually transmitted infections are much more easily transmitted than hiv.

One thing is certain here though, condoms provide excellent protection against hiv transmission. You do not need to worry at all about hiv in this case.

I really do think the only thing you've been infected with here is a bad case of the guilts.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.