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Author Topic: boyfriend cheated, possible risk?  (Read 1961 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline cheatedon

  • member
  • Posts: 2
boyfriend cheated, possible risk?
« on: December 10, 2006, 06:18:03 AM »
Hey everyone, I have a question about a possible risk that I have had. I am a gay male and recently (few days ago) found out that my boyfriend of 2yrs has been cheating on me. We have always always used condemns for anal sex, however oral sex is always unprotected. I know this is a low risk activity but my concern is over an episode we had not too long ago. I had a mild sore throat and canker sore but decided to give him some oral love anyway. I sucked his head for awhile and licked him alittle but dont remember any precum (if there was it was unnoticeable) and I know he didnt cum in my mouth. This is the event I am alittle concerned about, if he infact caught anything from his fling (HIV). Do you think I have anything to really worry about? Would appreciate some guidence Ann, Andy and Rod. Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 24,689
Re: boyfriend cheated, possible risk?
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2006, 07:46:08 AM »
Giving oral is at the very low end of the risk scale, particularly if ejaculation hasn't taken place. Longterm studies of sero-dystonic couples where there's lots of protected vaginal/anal intercourse and unprotected oral have resulted in not a single partner becoming infected.

But there are a few cases of uncertain confirmation in which someone affirms that's how they got infected.

So it really comes down to the comfort level you have with a very low level risk.

Cheating stirs up all kinds of feelings when a sense of trust is damaged in a relationship. That's something for you and your partner to sort out.

Personally I don't see a need for testing in relation to this incident. However, you certainly know you must continue to use condoms for intercourse without exception. And having a full STD panel done regularly -- at least annually -- is a good idea as well.

If you haven't already read the lesson on Transmission, you might find that worthwhile. You can find a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: boyfriend cheated, possible risk?
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2006, 10:27:34 AM »
cheatedon,

Can I ask why you are using different usernames while posting to our forums? Thus far, you have also used inneedofhelp

At first I though you were inneed's partner, until I realised that you logged into both accounts today, when the inneed account hasn't been used to post since October. Nice try.

Please realize that this kind of activity is disrespectful of other forum members, as well as our moderators. People spend a considerable amount of time helping others in these forums. Using multiple accounts is at the very least annoying, if not deceiving and disrespectful of others. It is also against our Terms of Membership which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread, which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.

You must realize that the answers won't change, no matter how many names you post under.

I would appreciate a reply to this message, and I hope you will commit to using just one account - preferably your original one. If not, you will be banned from further access to the forums.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline cheatedon

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: boyfriend cheated, possible risk?
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2006, 02:42:29 PM »
Ann, I am very sorry for having a second post started under the same computer IP address, I figured you would realize this and chew me out. However we are not the same person, I just tap the wireless net thru my PC. Not using the same post is just a means of not associating us as being the same. In a week I will be out so I can repost then if that is the wish, but I do not want to ruin any chances of being able to associate with such a helpful organization as this one. I am very sorry for any confusion and just want some information on my particular circumstance. Once again I am sorry. Thankyou.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: boyfriend cheated, possible risk?
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2006, 05:24:51 PM »
cheat,

How is it that this other person just coincidental logged on within minutes of you? On the same connection, at the same time? I'm having a difficult time believing you. It's also some coincidence that you're both worried about oral sex and sores.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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