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Joseph and Jena Part 2

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Hi hon,
I was about to say what Rocky beat me to.
I will repeat again: If it all seems just too good to believe, then it probably is.
I concur wholeheartedly with what Lisa, and Rocky have said.
Too much whirlwind too fast. When you are the party involved, sometimes it is difficult to take an truly objective viewpoint.
The other really important thing I would caution you about is introducing him to us to quickly. Once you have done that, then you cannot ever come here for solace, or discuss your impressions of him, without running the risk of sabotage. We have seen this happen with a few of our brethren, and it was really painful to witness. I think you should keep us to yourself for a while, and proceed with extreme caution.
We care about you, and don't want to se you hurt. It just seems too perfect that he is trying so hard to prove all of these things so quickly. I just have a hinky intuition about this. Please be careful.
All my love,


Like Rocky, I've been following your story and biding my time.  I agree with everything Rocky said.

Having said that, why not?

I met MIchael 26 years ago in a bar on a Thursday night.  I figured we were both just hooking up for the night.  That's all I wanted.  By the weekend he told me he was going to leave his boyfriend and commit himself to me.  I told him to slow down, I was in no hurry.  Two weeks later he had me convinced and we've been together ever since.

My Mother and Father were married within 3 months of their first date.   They were married for 57 years.

You've met the guy.  You've been around him long enough to get a good impression.  What do you think?

Good luck.


--- Quote from: Jena on June 10, 2006, 09:42:13 AM ---
 I have made no promises or commitments to Joseph, I have been honest with him.  I have told him of my fear and uncertainty and he understands. We have agreed to just " see what happens" He knows I am apprehensive and concerned about his move here but assures me this is what he wants, both for him and Harleem and his career and also because he  wants to be close to me so that we can see what  the future holds for us. 


They will live in their own apartment and my children and I will continue to live here in our house of course.

Its been a remarkable week and I'm looking forward to whatever comes next. I am going to give Joseph the chance we both deserve and I honestly feel he  will be able to ease the pain in my heart left behind from that destructive relationship I have so long tried to free myself from.

--- End quote ---

Jena, while I understand the concerns in the above posts, I get the feeling that there are two good points in what you have just stated.

*)The fact that Joseph will be renting his own apartment will defiantly give you both a breathing space to get to know each other no matter how long it takes. Its his decision to move and you should not be oblige to move things any faster just because he has decided it to move so quick.

*) Generally speaking you seem to have already accepted the situation and you feel pretty comfortable too. You sound like a sensible women and you would not easily build up such a feeling - meaning there must be something about it that is saying its well worth giving it a chance.

Just my opinion. I hope that all goes well and you both find the companionship that you deserve.

Take care,




I agree with those who feel that Joseph is moving too fast in this matter. I don't like the idea of someone his age just totally re-making his life on the basis of a five-day visit with you. This is the kind of impulsive act that would be easier to understand in a person in his late teens or early twenties, but for a mature man, it doesn't sound right. You really do need more time together before he makes any major moves. I think it might be good if you could visit him in New York, so you can see more clearly what his life is like and perhaps meet his friends. I think you can tell you a lot about a person from his or her friends.



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