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Author Topic: Stuck  (Read 2151 times)

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Offline Living4Tomorrow2

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Stuck
« on: October 10, 2006, 03:19:52 PM »
Hello Everyone,

Where do I begin? Well I was in a monogamous relationship for 2 months(so I thought, how stupid of me). We discussed how many partners we've had in our lifetime and our hiv/std status. We had unprotected sex, I'm a girl. We were planning to start a family in 2 years, until everything went terribly wrong. All of a sudden he would disappear on the weekends and reappear during the week days. His cell phone NEVER worked on the weekends as he claims. To make a long story short, I found out he was still married and living with his wife(his right hand employee told me). In the beginning when we were just friends, he said he's been divorced for 2 years. I confronted him with the info and he said he didn't think it was a big thing. After receiving all this info, I started wondering if he's cheating on his wife with me, who else has he been with before me and the wife?


He lied about his martial status and a host of other things, that I don't believe him when he said he's been tested for hiv/stds several times recently. He said he's over 100% sure he's negative, but when I ask to see his results. The doctor's office was closed...him and the doctor work at the same hospital. Personally, I don't think he was ever tested.

So here I am, all alone. I told myself I don't need him to go with me to get tested. So, I got tested at 4 weeks, it was negative. By the 6th week, I started having panic attacks(this was after learning about ars symptoms). I decided to get tested at 8 weeks, it was negative. Its now my 11th week and I'm stuck. I can't get enough strengthen up to go get my final test. I'm afraid that I might have seroconverted now.

With all the information about testing positive between 6-12 weeks, has scared me. Almost every site states, it takes a long time to develop antibodies to hiv. Now one person that posted on another site, stated that the nurse that was taking his blood said what virus takes 3 months to develop antibodies against it? I figured it was kind of true if you know your exact last exposure, or you have an ill that affects your immune system.

Offline Darkfiber

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Re: Stuck
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2006, 04:21:36 PM »
Living

It doesn't matter what he has told you.

If you had unprotected sex you need to get tested after the 3 months mark. Tests taken before 3 months are not considered conclusive by the standards of the CDC.

That being said, with your 2 negative tests under your belt, the last after 8 weeks it's highly unlikely that something changes in the remaining 4 weeks. The average seroconversion timepoint (turning negative to positive) is 21 days  with virtually all  seroconverting by 6 weeks.

I would take another test after 3 months and call it quits afterwards.

Hope this helps!

Regards

Darkfiber

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Stuck
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2006, 05:58:21 PM »
L4T,

I don't know what websites you've been reading, but the fact of the matter is that the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. It's highly unlikely that your eight week negative will change.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can make sure your fella is using them properly. While you're on either of those pages, have a look through the bottom three links in the left-hand column. They discuss ways that you, as a woman, can protect yourself. I recommend the female condom as they are also excellent barriers against hiv infection, and importantly, they give YOU the control over condom use.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Living4Tomorrow2

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Stuck
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2006, 04:13:34 PM »
 I just had my 11th week test, it came back negative. I felt a little better after hearing my results. Then the counselor said, my results are good, but I may still be making antibodies for the virus. And that the test may not be able to pick up the undetectable antibodies right now.  I called the CDC and the woman told me I should wait until 6 months because immune system may still be creating antibodies.  Between the counselor and the woman at the CDC, I'm more afraid now to take my test at the 12th week(3 months). Has anybody heard of any of this before?

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,286
Re: Stuck
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2006, 04:27:34 PM »
There is never a time to wait 6 months unless you fall in the category of an IV drug user. User of anti-rejection drugs for transplants, on chemo or have been diagnosed with an immune disorder. The CDC changed the 6 month waiting period to 3 months in 2001. So whomever you talked to doesn't even know the CDC's guidelines.

Offline Living4Tomorrow2

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Stuck
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2006, 05:10:12 PM »
 I read that antibodies start developing(according to john Hopkin's website) at the same time ars starts. I read on some sites that some people will test positive at 6 weeks, if they're infected. I don't understand why my counselor would say I still may be making antibodies even though I'm at 11 weeks. I've tested negative at 4, 8 and 11 weeks now, which I thought was a very good sign. My 12th week is this week. And some dr.'s say they've never seen anybody test negative at 6-8 weeks and then positive. But since my counselor said what he said after giving me my results, I lost hope. I'm done mentally and emotionally.

The woman from the CDC was reading from her guide book. I could hear her turning the pages and looking up the info. She's the least of my worries.


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Stuck
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2006, 05:23:10 PM »
Your body starts making antibodies as soon as a foreign substance has entered. You are counting way too much on ARS when most people don't have symptoms at all. Yes, the people on the phones at the CDC are reading from a guide book and apparently the person that was answering you, does not have an up to date guide book. It's time you changed counselors.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Stuck
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2006, 09:39:23 PM »
Living, just stick with getting tested at 13 weeks, collect what I expect will be another negative result and get on with your life.

From here on in you must make sure that any guy you are with uses a latex condom everytime you have intercourse. It doesn't matter how great  he looks or what you think you know about his history or anything else. A condom is a must. No exceptions.

The only time you can dispense with using condoms is when both you and a partner have decided to commit to a securely monogamous relationship and you both test HIV negative together. Otherwise keep those condoms handy and make sure the guy uses them.

This time I expect you to make it through safely but in the future don't allow your emotions to lead you into risky behavior, no matter how charming the palaver is the guy is dishing out.

Good luck with your test.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Living4Tomorrow2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Stuck
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2006, 09:48:11 PM »
I tested again at 11 weeks(80 days). I decided to test at home with the home access test kit. My results were negative. I didn't trust my results because I accidentally knocked the sample card on the floor while the blood sample was drying. I frantically called the number on the box to speak to a counselor. I explained to her what I did and she said, nothing was going to effect the results because the test was searching for the antibodies. I asked her did being 1 week early make a difference, she told me no. She tried to reassure me, but it didn't work.

My symptoms are getting worst. What I thought was an ear infection, wasn't. I'm dealing with either nerves, or muscle spasms/twitches going on in my hands and legs. I know ars symptoms start early not later. Its just the fact that I'm having symptoms, which isn't helping me.

So, I decided to test one more time, this time at the 13th week. I'm waiting for my results. I used the home access kit again because I'm too ashamed to go to the clinic to get tested. I feel so empty.

I'm sorry if I sound like a worry wart. I really am.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Stuck
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2006, 07:22:32 AM »
Living,

You may have symptoms, but they have nothing to do with hiv whatsoever. In fact, they sound like the effects of stress and anxiety on your body and that's what happens when you carry a sack-load of shame around with you. Drop the shame, it's not doing you any favours. You might want to have a few sessions about that with a qualified counselor so you can move on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Living4Tomorrow2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Stuck
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2006, 06:46:57 PM »
Hi Everyone,

Just to give an update, I tested negative for hiv in November. I tested negative for hiv-2 during my 4th and 8th mark. I was unaware that Home Access only test for hiv-1.

Does anybody know if the hiv-2 virus will be detected?
Should I get tested for hiv-2 now?
What test can I take to rule out hiv-2?

Besides dealing with the possibility of testing for hiv-2, my ex-bf is burning up my land line and cell. Its been over 3 months now and he wants to know how my health is. I believe just because I'm negative, doesn't necessarily mean he is too. I'm not taking his calls or messages. I'm taking care of me and only me!

Any thoughts or suggestions are more than welcome.

Love,
Living

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,286
Re: Stuck
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2006, 06:50:27 PM »
You are reliably negative for 1 and 2 at thirteen weeks..

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 24,565
Re: Stuck
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2006, 10:20:40 AM »
As Rod has said, you are reliably HIV negative. Period. End of story.

You need to learn from this experience. From here on in no matter whom you are with you need to use a condom everytime you have intercourse. Using them needs to become first nature with you.

If you find yourself at some time in a relationship where both partners want to commit to being monogamous, then you should both get tested at the same time -- 13 weeks after the most recently unprotected incident for either or both. Assuming you test negative then you can decide whether or not the relationship is secure enough to dispense with using condoms. And don't be in a hurry to do that. Give yourself time. This is your health and your life we're talking about.

Congrats on that happy test result. Now, protect that gift.

Cheers,

 
Andy Velez

 


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