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Author Topic: just need some courage  (Read 19844 times)

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Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #50 on: June 16, 2006, 06:52:02 PM »
so if i do test postive man i mght not even be able to drive home after that.. im just running it through my mind... how will i tell my ma or dad?? how could i concentrate @ work??? How can i enjoy anything again without thinking about hiv and what im goin to have to go through with it??? dam im so stupid for puttin myself back in this situation.... if only i could get one more chance.... only god can save me now.... im just tryin 2 gain that strenght to hear the most likey outcome of this.... preparing myself venting ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

Scared,

You're getting way ahead of yourself here. As an HIV+ person, I can assure you that we all manage to cope to varying degrees, but you're not even HIV+. As Ann told you, the chances of you testing negative are excellent. That's your "most likey [sic] outcome."

You need to settle down, babe. I would urge you to seek some mental health support for your anxiety.

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #51 on: June 16, 2006, 06:55:10 PM »
I tested positive and drove home just fine. I really, really hope you aren't looking for pre-emptive sympathy here.

As an adult male, you CHOSE to have unprotected sex with multiple partners. This coming AFTER an HIV scare which should have caused you to re-examine your behaviour. It did not. I submit that once the dust settles from this incident, you will have two choices.

a) seek professional help for your self destructive behaviour

b) come back in a few months, when you have racked up soem more unprotected conquests and feel the need to self-flagellate.

c) come back here in a few months with syphilis, genital warts, or HIV because russian roulette is not a game one can chronically play.

Your call.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline im scared

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  • Posts: 34
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #52 on: June 16, 2006, 07:03:18 PM »
naw if i make it out this time i dont even want to go through this again trust me.. i know i said that the first scare but this time im 4 real..... i just dont think ill have that chance though... im just tryin 2 get ready for the most likey out come........ i respect all u have been able to get over this but its hard and i know i did wat i did and now comes the smile now cry later part of this by that i mean have fun and then pay for it

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #53 on: June 16, 2006, 07:06:48 PM »
naw if i make it out this time i dont even want to go through this again trust me.. i know i said that the first scare but this time im 4 real..... i just dont think ill have that chance though... im just tryin 2 get ready for the most likey out come........ i respect all u have been able to get over this but its hard and i know i did wat i did and now comes the smile now cry later part of this by that i mean have fun and then pay for it

Scared,

We've been exercising extraordinary patience in the face of your, well, hystrionics. Your anxiety about this issue is well out of balance with the likelihood of your testing positive for HIV. Really, I think you've moved beyond what we can do for you here.

You need to seek the assistance of a mental health worker. No kidding.

MtD

Offline im scared

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #54 on: June 16, 2006, 07:15:01 PM »
im just tryin to cope with the likey hood of comin out positive thats all so ill be some what prepared so it wont be such a shock thats all i make be over obsesing with this but i find it helpful especially when i walk in there.. wat about people that walk in there not thinking there okay and they will be negaitive then all of a sudden it goes wrong 4 them and they were not prepared to hear that.. i think it hurts more goin in that way.. but either way wont be good

Offline im scared

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #55 on: June 16, 2006, 07:16:29 PM »
were i put not next to thinking i meant thinking they are not positive my bad

Offline im scared

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  • Posts: 34
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #56 on: June 16, 2006, 08:02:04 PM »
i think one of the best indicators that u are hiv positive is when u get sick often like once a month because people with healthy immune systems wont get sick so often.. so that is one of the best indicators... not just getting some symptoms like alot of these people get and then they dont get sick after again and again if u are constenty getting colds infections i think theres a big chance u might have hiv and thats why im worried.... ive had at least 2 colds and tonselitius just in this year and sometimes leaky noses and now cellitius come on now its not wat i get its how many times i have gotten it that convices me the most!!!!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #57 on: June 16, 2006, 08:10:40 PM »
scared,

I've been hiv positive for nine years and I hardly ever get sick. I'm not on anti-hiv medications either. Frankly, you don't know what you're talking about. You're simply surmising and once again, adding two and two and coming up with five. Symptoms or the lack of symptoms, colds or the lack of colds, skin infections or the lack of skin infections mean absolutely nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Only the appropriate test at the appropriate time will reliably inform you of your hiv status. You are most likely going to test negative.

Your behaviour is quickly becoming insulting to those of us who are positive. I can think of plenty of things that are worse than finding out one is hiv positive so stop making such a drama out of it. Sure, it's no picnic, but it's not the end of the world either. You make it sound as though those of us who are positive don't have lives worth living. I beg to differ.

And the bottom line here is that you are most likely to test negative, whether you believe it or not.

Now either calm down or get yourself some face-to-face support during your window period. We are not equipped on this forum to give you that level of support.

I'm done here. You don't seem to listen to a thing said to you anyway.

Ann
(who rarely gives up.)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline im scared

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  • Posts: 34
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #58 on: June 16, 2006, 08:20:15 PM »
ann im sorry if im offending u because i dont want to offend anyone its just wat i think after reading about this its getting to me badly and like i said i admire u who have this and still live with confidence... i am not tryin 2 insult u or anything like that im just giving a opion of mine everyone is different and everyones body is different... so u are one of the strong ones which is great... but i bet the mojorty of people positive before they found out exeperience even if its just colds or little things like that but im sure they had gotten sick more often then they had in the past... u can go into the living forum and just read wat people felt b4 they found out they were positive...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #59 on: June 16, 2006, 08:48:48 PM »
Quote
u can go into the living forum and just read wat people felt b4 they found out they were positive...

And it's a very silly thing to do. It's called "symptom shopping" and it's bad for two reasons.

1. You shouldn't be feeding off the experiences of HIV+ people - that's just rude;
2. It will make your anxiety and fears about HIV much worse.

The Living With HIV forum is for HIV+ people and those directly affected by the virus. As you noted in your comments, everybody IS different and the experiences of HIV+ people don't apply to you. See, those of us who post in Living With have one crucial difference from you. We have HIV. You will most likely test negative. Just because one HIV positive person went through stuff which may seem remotely similar to what you think you're going through now, doesn't mean another HIV+ person did.

Having said that, I maintain that there is nothing else we can do for you. As far as I am concerned, this conversation is over.

MtD

Offline im scared

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  • Posts: 34
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #60 on: June 17, 2006, 12:38:25 AM »
thanks for ur replys... just pray for me man im even scared right now for my life with this cellitius thing im scared it will get into my blood because of my weaken immune system and kill me... its called sepsis this deadly disorder which they say u have if cellitius the bacterial infection gets into the blood stream and people with hiv get this because of their weaken immune systems and then once this happens ur organs begin to brake down and u die... i been lookin at my infection and it is just pinkish now not read and the swelling has gone down just one part is really swellon now but im just hoping the symtoms of sepsis dont show up im watchin because if they do i got 2 get to the er

Offline RapidRod

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #61 on: June 17, 2006, 06:50:02 AM »
Quit self diagnosing yourself. You don't have suppressed immune system and you aren't going to be dieing of Cellulitis. It's treatable.

Offline im scared

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #62 on: June 17, 2006, 03:24:19 PM »
yea will today it looks better its just pink now all swelling has left for the most part just a little bit but its really pink now

Offline im scared

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #63 on: June 19, 2006, 02:10:11 PM »
tomorrow is my test day but before i go through with this i have another question, does antibiotic treatment or a infection like cellititus could cause the hiv oraquick test to come out positive?? does the medication interfer with the test or does the infection interfer with it???

Offline RapidRod

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Re: just need some courage
« Reply #64 on: June 19, 2006, 04:10:43 PM »
The answer to both questions is NO. It won't cause you to get a positive result and it does not interfere with your test.

Offline im scared

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  • Posts: 34
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #65 on: June 20, 2006, 01:44:55 PM »
will today is the day for my test please pray for me please that i will be okay im really nervous about the outcome of the test... it will be done at 4pm today just need some courage and prayers :( :(

Offline im scared

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  • Posts: 34
Re: just need some courage
« Reply #66 on: June 20, 2006, 08:54:14 PM »
just got home from taking the test and it came out negative..... i only have the incident were the condom broke now to worry about because the other 3 girls were ruled out because it has been past 13wks from the other 3 girls so the only thing i got to worry about now is goin back and testing in the middle of august for the girl that the condom broke on.. it broked but it was still covering the penis hole but i notice right away and stoped but other than that so far im negative from the ora quick 20min test... i just hope i can go back in aug and have the same result..

 


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