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Author Topic: Negative! Can I move on?  (Read 12103 times)

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Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #50 on: February 02, 2007, 01:22:03 PM »
Dan,

The answers you'll get will not be any different from the ones you got posting as nearlythere.

I understand that the day you created the Dan account, you (accidentally, I'm assuming) deactivated your original account by trying to change your email address. However, you should have emailed us instead of creating a new account, which is prohibited under the Terms of Membership, which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread, which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.

You must realize that the answers won't change, no matter how many names you post under.

I would appreciate a reply to this message, and I hope you will commit to using just one account - preferably your original one. If not, you will be banned from further access to the forums.

I can reactivate your original account, disable this one, and merge your threads.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline oledantucker

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  • Posts: 2
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #51 on: February 02, 2007, 01:32:42 PM »
Ann,

With my old account, I tried to change the email address. When I looked at my profile I saw that my email address was showing, even though I was asking for it not to, and my email is fairly recognisable to those who know me so I just tried to change it to another. For some reason I can't access the email account I created so I just created a new username. I'm sorry, I realise my actions were disrespectful.
In any case, there's no need to deactivate my new account/reactivate my old one. I'll be logging off this evening and I won't be logging on again. I sought counselling and continue to, and it's helped me a lot. But when I thought back to when I took my test, I worried that I took it a few days too soon. I just wanted clarification on that point.
The counselling has been great but I can't shake that little bogeyman that says 'test at six months'. But I know I'm being irrational and that there is nothing else you can do for me here.
I'm sorry once again. Thanks for all your replies. I won't post, or log in, again

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #52 on: February 02, 2007, 03:45:52 PM »
I won't post, or log in, again

Um, yeah, ok. I've heard that before too many times to believe it. I've disabled your Dan account, reactivated your other account and merged your threads, just like I said I would.

You will ALWAYS be able to see your own email address. If it it hidden to everyone else, it will be in italics. If it appears in regular font, then it is public.

You are reliably hiv negative. Test all you want, but unless you put yourself at risk again, your result will still be negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

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  • Posts: 34
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #53 on: February 27, 2007, 10:43:04 AM »
Well Ann you were right, I'm just like all the others.
I tried to stay away but I just can't. I got professional help regarding my anxiety and my inability to accept negative results, and they helped so much. I've found a lot of stuff to work on, particularly my drinking. Things are going really well.
Yet the nagging sense persists that I hadn't produced antibodies when I tested. Playwithmeplz really freaked me out, a healthy guy taking a year to seroconvert. It's just that there are a lot of people who claim to take longer than three months. How can we be sure that they're ALL wrong?
I'm not afraid of HIV anymore. My anxiety has disappeared and I'm enjoying life again.
My question is, how can we be sure that three months is sufficient?
I truly believe that three months is sufficient for 99.99% of people and that you cannot get more reliable than that with science. My question is, where do I go from here. I cannot shake the thought that I still might be infected. I'm not anxious, I'm not up all night worrying about this, I'd just like to let it lie. And I can't.

I'd also like to apologise sincerely for changing my login name. I accidentally de-activated my old account the day I did it and should have told everyone. I didn't and I'm really sorry.

Thanks:)

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #54 on: February 27, 2007, 11:38:09 AM »
Its your dime and your body.  Test as much as you like as often as you like.  You are negative right now.  Others "anectdotal" stories are not SCIENTIFIC proof.  They are notoriously unreliable for MANY reasons.

You choose to believe what you want to believe.  We have given you our opinion multiple times.  What more are you looking for from this site?

We cant make your fears go away.  We arent going to change our answers.  So the only thing YOU can do is keep seeing a professional therapist (which it does NOT really sound like its working too well YET if you are still here.  Just give that time) and if you want to keep testing then by all means spend the money.

I think we have said all we can for you regarding this incident and your testing negative.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline nearlythere

  • Member
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Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #55 on: February 27, 2007, 11:47:11 AM »
I'm keeping up the counselling. I'm not really afraid anymore though. I'm not even bothered.
I suppose I'm just looking for certainty, and that's not really something that exists in science. The view here is that it is impossible to test positive after testing negative at three months if there are no further risks. I really wish I could find the way to accept that, and I know that the only person that can make that decision is me.

But thanks for your answer and your time.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #56 on: February 28, 2007, 10:39:40 AM »
nearly,

"Playwithmeplz" is a fraud and he is no longer a member here.

You are conclusively hiv negative. Keep working with your counselor - and I wish you good luck with that.

Make sure you continue to use condoms correctly and consistently and you will remain hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

  • Member
  • Posts: 34
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #57 on: February 28, 2007, 11:37:27 AM »
Thanks for your reply Ann.
I believe my results, it's just hard to let go. It's just quite a few people 'claim' it took longer than three months, but then if you analyze their stories, you see holes. The search for certainty in life is a fruitless one!

Thanks again to all of you for your patience with me:)

Offline PD

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  • Posts: 8
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #58 on: February 28, 2007, 12:31:21 PM »
nearlythere,

I suffered the same.  Tested negative out to 6 months after cheating on my wife.  It still spooks me now and again when I feel a bit ill or read some of the stories that are hopefully hoaxes.

Ann did a great job of reassuring me which has prevented me taking another test at 18 months post exposure (it's been tough to resist though).

PD

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #59 on: February 28, 2007, 12:48:26 PM »
PD,

Please keep all your additional thoughts or questions in your OWN thread only. Read the Welcome Thread. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline PD

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #60 on: February 28, 2007, 12:50:26 PM »
Sorry Ann.

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #61 on: March 27, 2007, 05:03:47 AM »
So I'm going for another test. I really, really hoped I wouldn't have to. But over the last few months,despite my anxiety becoming more controlled, I've had terrible skin infections, mouth ulcers and now the tingling in the hands and feet. These symptoms have been complemented by headaches and constant fatigue.

I have had NO risk since my exposures in September. I have a negative at 86 days. So there is NO chance my test results will change? I visited my PCP at Christmas, soon after my negative HIV test. We did all the normal blood tests, my CBC and WBC were within range. So I'm clinically well. Thank you all for your time and patience:)

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #62 on: March 27, 2007, 10:26:17 AM »
It will not change.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline nearlythere

  • Member
  • Posts: 34
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #63 on: March 27, 2007, 10:38:02 AM »
Thank you AC. 99.99% of me agrees with you. I tried to let it go and not test but the mind is a powerful thing.
I appreciate your reply and your patience:)

Offline nearlythere

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  • Posts: 34
Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #64 on: June 02, 2008, 07:53:39 AM »
Hi all,

It's been a while since I've been on here, and I come for clarification more than anything else. I am now single, and last night I visited a brothel. I had sex with two prostitutes. Both incidents were entirely protected.

My questions are about condom failure and massage oils. From what I've read here, condom failure is a fairly obvious event. So is it really that black and white? I checked the condoms at the end of both encounters and they hadn't leaked. Is it then safe to say that they remained intact and I wasn't exposed to HIV even if the women had been infected?

The second encounter was preceded by a massage. I don't know whether she used oil or lube - new to all this - and she put on the condom with her mouth while I wasn't completely hard (it didn't take long for that situation to change). Again at the end the condom had remained intact. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I was as careful as I could have been. Since my early days of drunken risk taking, I'd like to think that I'm doing things right as far as HIV is concerned.  Am I?

Thank you all for your continued support:)

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #65 on: June 02, 2008, 10:02:18 AM »
It's very clear when a condom fails. It's not a subtle event with teensie weensie holes or anything like that. It ends up looking like a fringed hula hoop on your penis.

You did everything right. You had condoms on for intercourse. Way to go! Nothing else you did or that was done put you at risk.

Use a condom everytime for intercourse and you will be well protected.

Yes, you can move on with your life...

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #66 on: June 02, 2008, 05:27:38 PM »
Thank you very much Andy. I suppose, as always, a mixture of fear and guilt tends to take over in situations such as these. Two years on and I'm still in therapy wrestling with irrational fears!

But your answers, as always provide respite. You would not believe how many members of the medical profession will trot out the 'microscopic holes' theory when discussing the efficacy of condoms.

Thanks again, you're all great :)

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #67 on: June 02, 2008, 06:20:34 PM »
Even though they would like to appear and to be treated as superhuman, doctors are just human beings. Some better informed than others including about HIV and related issues.

Keep working on your issues and moving right along.

Glad you have found help here when you needed it.

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

 


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