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Author Topic: Negative! Can I move on?  (Read 11873 times)

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Offline nearlythere

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Negative! Can I move on?
« on: December 06, 2006, 11:26:46 AM »
Hi guys,
This forum is great and has provided much comfort at the most awful time.
My story is this:
About twelve weeks ago, I stupidly drunkenly had unprotected insertive vaginal sex with two different women on two separate occasions. Immediately got tested and was negative for all STDS. Iím in a relationship. Weíd been having problems in our sex life for months and months, and I flipped. Irony of ironies, I always carry condoms. During the first encounter, I used a condom the first time. The second time we both went bareback. For the second encounter I was so out of it, I didnít even think.
I know I was stupid. I couldnít tell my girlfriend straight up so I told her Iíd been attacked with a needle. I know this was a terrible thing to do, but I didnít want to break her heart. All we did was deep kiss. After about three weeks, however, I started having night sweats, felt a sore throat coming on that would last two weeks and lost 5-10 pounds in weight Ė my appetite had disappeared. I eventually levelled with my girlfriend and the night sweats disappeared. The sore throat didnít.
My girlfriend forgave me and we started working through our problems. Iím still a mess but she is much stronger than me. We started deep kissing again. I had bleeding gums. No sores, neither had she. I know you say again and again that this isnít a route of transmission, but if I was in the acute infection stage, would I not be highly contagious? My gingivitis wasnít severe, and my gums werenít pumping blood, but there was blood there, however small. My girlfriend saw no risk and told me to stop being stupid. One doctor told me I was being ridiculous and not to even bother re-testing. Another told me the odds are soooo small itís not worth worrying about but Iím a mess.
So I have two questions;
1.   In the absence of STDs, is the only route of transmission from female to male the urethra mucous membrane, and if so, would it have to be inflamed? Are there any statistics for female to male transmission? Are the odds really 2,000/1 for a once off? I know I played roulette, Iím stupid and Iím sorry.
2.   Have I put my girlfriend at risk?

Iím loaded up on Xanax and having the test next week. Iíll let you guys know. Thanks for the support.


Nearly there

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2006, 12:08:36 PM »
First of all, kissing is not a risk for HIV transmission. So you can give up on that concern right now.

It is significantly more difficult to accomplish transmission from female to male. Impossible? Definitely not. But much more difficult by virtue of male vs. the much more receptive female anatomy. Given these were two incidents the odds remain significantly in your favor against transmission having occured. I appreciate that you want to quantify your odds but that's really not practical.

Neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms is ever the way to know about HIV status. Certainly there is absolutely nothing in the ones you have described which is in any way HIV specific.

It's good that you're nearly at the end of your waiting period. I'd say the odds are in your favor that you will come out of this ok.

Good luck to you and keep us posted.
Andy Velez

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2006, 05:08:04 AM »
Thanks so much Andy, you've really put my mind at ease. I really hope I've been lucky. I've gone through nearly three months of thinking I deserve the virus, but no one really does, do they? If any good has come out of my stupidity, it's been that I've done my best to spread the word to my friends who are equally thoughtless in their sexual encounters. I can't believe I got to 25 and wasn't aware of the risk I was taking. Boy, I'm aware now. To be honest, my terror springs from having transmitted anything to my girlfriend, and her 'flu-like illness' three weeks after we got back together did not help things! But we've practiced safe sex since my exposure and you've hit the nail on the head regarding the deep kissing. Regrading the symptoms I had, I wasn't expecting you to reply, I know they're not  a reliable indicator and I wish that thought had just planted itself in my head! 

I'll let you know how my test goes. I'm hoping for the best, expecting the worst and taking what comes. Many thanks again, I don't know how you put up with all of these questions.

One last thing, is there any way of preparing for a positive diagnosis? I just want to keep things quiet but I'm always close to tears. I've sought counselling, but since no one here is taking my concerns seriously, I wonder am walking into a possible life-changing scenario without adequate preparation?

Since my exposure, I've done my best to spread awareness and encourage prevention, I've donated to various charities and will continue to do so. At least I know that, if the worst happens, I'm not alone. Thanks so so much for your reply Andy

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2006, 07:37:11 AM »
You already are experiencing a life-changing experience. That's a good thing. You're emerging from the dangerous cocoon of not-knowingness and denial about HIV in our world today.

In the unlikely event that you test positive, well, we'll deal with that at the time IF it happens. More importantly, you've come awake to the importance of safer sex and always using condoms. 

I'm glad you found our exchange to be helpful. Keeping fingers crossed here. Keep us posted and good luck.

Cheers,   
Andy Velez

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2006, 09:54:42 AM »
The support you have given me has been brilliant Andy, I think I've simply convinced myself I've contracted the virus, which is a stupid way to go. Either way, with the rapid test I'll know.

Yes, becoming aware of the magnitude of the problem of AIDS is indeed a life changing experience. I'm 25, when we were at school, it just seemed like something that gay people got and wasn't anything to worry about. I REALLY REALLY mean no offence by that, it just really is what people believed. And now, in the country where I live, this sense persists because the rate of heterosexual infection outside immigrant groups is virtually non-existent. But a debate is beginning and it's a debate I intend to contribute to.

I suppose the real reason the bleeding gums/deep kissing thing had me worried is this; basically all sexual encounters begin with kissing, so my rationale was, we don't really know if it infects or not, especially during the acute infection. I really want to learn as much about the issue as possible and am NOT trying to scaremonger.

Your use of the word IF really resonated with me. It really is a big if. Thank you Andy, thank you from the bottom of my heart:)


BTW how is life with you?

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2006, 12:36:33 PM »
Does anyone have any opinions on the whole deep kissing during acute infection period while suffering from bleeding gums?
Ann I read on a post that you and your b/f were going out a year having sex before you found out. It made me so happy because I think the worst feeling would be to pass it on to someone you really love. I think that's the cause of my fears and perhaps my night sweats and weight loss. I hope I hope I hope!

I came across a quotation of Groucho Marx's that's keeping me going throughout all this, I just thought I'd post it here because it might help other people who are worried. Thanks again everyone.

'I, not events , not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet, I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it'.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2006, 12:52:32 PM »
Groucho knew what he was talking about. Follow his suggestion is what I say.

You can test anytime now and pick up what I expect will be a negative result.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2006, 01:33:47 PM »
Nearly,

I totally agree with Andy. Go get that test done and get what I also expect will be a negative result.

And remember to always use condoms in the future!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2006, 04:45:10 AM »
Thanks so much guys. I'll never not use condoms again, either wa! My girlfriend and I have had sex a few times since we got back together, always protected and I've withdrawn before ejaculation every time. It was the bleeding gums that was keeping me awake all night...she keeps getting sick! At least the waiting is nearly over. I'll let you guys know the result.
I love your blog Ann and I'm sorry you've suffered so much. You guys help so so many people with this forum, and, regardless of my own outcome, I realise the magnitude of this awful epidemic now and will do my bit to further the cause, however I can.

Keep those fingers crossed
Nearly

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2006, 09:03:09 AM »
From HIV 101 on poz.com

'HIV can sneak into the bloodstream through small cuts or open sores in your mouth'.

That scares me. A lot.

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #10 on: December 08, 2006, 10:47:40 AM »
Please understand that I'm not scared of saliva or having contracted the virus this way myself, it's more the fear I have of passing on what i may or may not have to my girlfriend, considering I may or may not have been going through the acute infection stage of HIV.....

When I read back over what I've just written I feel like a crazy person. I need help!


Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #11 on: December 08, 2006, 11:21:18 AM »
I know you guys are all busy, and I'm sorry but if one of you could tell me I'm being silly in the next forty minutes before I go home from work and away from the internet I'd really appreciate it. I wanna meet my girlfriend, we will deep kiss, have a little wine and maybe have PROTECTED sex. Even if there is a little blood in my mouth I'm not putting her at risk. Am I?
I just find a lot of conflicting information. I'm gone past caring about myself. As you guys say we must all take responsibility for our own sexual health. I just want her to be safe.

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #12 on: December 08, 2006, 12:27:57 PM »
nearly,

Kiss your girlfriend all you like. Kissing is not a risk for hiv infection. No way, no how.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2006, 12:39:14 PM »
Thanks Ann, we'll have a lovely night now. I'm sorry for being such a scaredy cat, but after having exposed myself, I don't want to expose anyone else. Roll on Tuesday,
Thanks again for your support, you're all great
Nearly

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2006, 06:45:34 AM »
Hi guys,
Testing tomorrow, nerves at an all time high. I just canít stop thinking about the night sweats and sore throat I had three weeks post exposure. Then three weeks after my girlfriend and I started deep kissing again, with my mild gingivitis, she came down with aches and pains, sore throat, headaches etc. Iím just so scared I passed anything on to her. Weíve only had PROTECTED sex since my exposure. Sheís not worried, but Iím terrified. Do you guys REALLY think there is NO chance of transmission from deep kissing even with blood in the mouth? Iím sorry I know Iím repeating myself, I just need reassurance. Hopefully by 4.30 tomorrow Iíll have nothing to pester you guys about anymore. Iím sorry, Iím just so so scared.
Thanks for all you do guys.

Nearly

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #15 on: December 11, 2006, 09:02:13 AM »
I'm sorry guys, I guess you all think I'm being silly. It's just been the longest 3 months ever. I read and read on this forum for so long without posting, but the closer I get to the test the harder this seems to be. The message here seems to be that if you use condoms properly for sex you are not at risk for HIV. Ergo, I was/am at risk, but that risk is low, and since I haven't had unprotected sex with my girlfriend, not even oral sex, just deep kissing with occasional bleeding gums/small amounts of blood,  I haven't put her at risk?
Thanks for all your help guys, I'm sorry it's just been a long, long 3 months. Now that they're nearly over, I'm terrified. I've breezed through every test I've ever taken, I hope I'm lucky with this one

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2006, 01:44:53 PM »
So that's it, the last day of not knowing. At least if worst comes to worst, I know I'm not alone. For the first month, when I thought ARS was coming on, I used to think of death and nothing else, but the bottom line is that I know that a positive diagnosis is not a death sentence and that life goes on. It's like that bit in the film Memento, when he closes his eyes and wonders if the world has gone away.
I know this has nothing to do with whether I'm infected or not, I just feel lonely, but am looking forward to life whatever happens, like Walt Whitman says

'Why, who makes much of a miracle?
As to me I know of nthing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of the houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love, or sleep in the bed at night with any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with the rest,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds, or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sundown,
Or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite thin curve of the new moon in spring;
These with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring, yet each distinct and in its place.

To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same.
To me the sea is a continual miracle,
The fishes that swim, the rocks, the motion of the waves,
The ships with men in them,
What stranger miracles are there?

That's enough to be going on with. Life is one big miracle. I'll stop posting now. I hope everyone has a lovely night, and anyone waiting on test results, feeling down, up, sideways, sick, healthy but concerned that their not, is in my thoughts and prayers

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2006, 05:51:49 AM »
Night  Sweats? Sore Throat? Weight Loss? Flu-like symptoms? All trumped by a negative rapid test 3 months post  exposure! Thank you Andy and Ann for your replies. I won't be a fool and will wrap my tool in future. The work you guys do is amazing and I really appreciate your responses over the last  week or two. I'm off to deal with my anxiety.

To all the worried wells, try not to drive yourself crazy putting all the pieces together yourself. The test is the only way to diagnose HIV, and until that time, try and be as optimistic as possible. In other words, don't waste three months of  your life worrying yourself into a stick over what might be nothing.  I've just  done that  and I'm angry with myself for not  listening to people who know what they're talking about,

Thanks again guys, I'm off to spread awareness!

BTW any ideas for organisations to donate to? I'm already donating to World AIDS day every month

Later guys, you're all wonderful

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2006, 08:24:42 AM »
One final question. Please please reply! have any of you ever seen someone test negative at 3 months, then positive at 6? I've been taking Xanax and am afraid my immune system has been suppressed and therefore isn't producing antibodies. I've tested negative at three months, I want to get on with my life. Am I worrying over nothing??
Thanks guys

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2006, 08:29:59 AM »
No, never.

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2006, 08:59:19 AM »
nearly,

Xanax does not interfer with your immune system.

You are reliably negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2006, 10:12:00 AM »
I just can't stop worrying about the six month window period, the cdc still recommends. The doctor who tested me assured me I had nothing to worry about, the thought just won't leave my mind.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #22 on: December 15, 2006, 10:20:45 AM »
The CDC only recommends six months under very specific circumstances, specifically if IV drug use is involved or you have a severely compromised immune system due to such as treatment for cancer.

Otherwise 13 weeks is their standard and anyone who says otherwise is giving out incorrect information, which I will say can happen sometimes when you speak to a CDC operator.

So you are HIV negative. Period. No matter what scares your mind continues to throw up about the issue. You have no scientific basis for being concerned. Your mind may continue with these kinds of thoughts for sometime. Notice them, take a breath and get on to the next thought/feeling and whatever you need to do in your life.

You are HIV negative. Period. End of story.
Andy Velez

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #23 on: December 15, 2006, 10:27:28 AM »
I am HIV negative. Period. End of Story.
I'll keep saying that to myself.
Thank you guys, I'm sorry to be a drag

Offline jntmax39

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #24 on: December 15, 2006, 06:24:27 PM »
I have been with my husband for 8yrs and I am HIV+. We made a choice to not use protection and my husband has been tested4 times and he is still Neg.

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #25 on: December 15, 2006, 06:57:28 PM »
jnt,

Just because you and your husband made that personal choice does not mean that it is safe. He may well end up positive one day if you continue having intercourse without condoms.

I will thank you for not advocating intercourse without condoms in this forum - we promote the use of condoms here, particularly when one partner is known to be hiv positive.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jntmax39

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #26 on: December 16, 2006, 02:25:45 PM »
EXCUSE ME BUT i WASN'T CONDONING ANYTHING, IT IS A PERSONAL CHOICE AND I DO ADVOCATE FOR SAFE SEX.
THE MAN WAS SIMPLY ASKING A QUESTION ABOUT FEMALE TO MALE TRANSMISSION,AND THE STATISTICS. WELL I AM ONE OF THOSE;.
AND IF YOU READ MY OTHER POSTS YOU WOULD KNOW THAT I DON'T BLAME ANYONE FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME,BECAUSE I MADE THE CHOICE NOT TO HAVE SAFE SEX.
WE ALL KNOW THE RISKS OF HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX AND STD'S.AND I'M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE ON  THIS FORUM, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WORLD.
I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE THINKING JUST BECAUSE I HAVE HIV THAT I SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLES CHOICES.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2006, 03:19:16 PM by jntmax39 »

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #27 on: December 16, 2006, 02:45:29 PM »
jnt,

Please don't use all caps, it's considered shouting. ;)

I wasn't judging you, but it was unclear what message you were trying to get across. Thank you for clarifying. We need to be careful what sort of messages we send out in this forum because unfortunately, not everyone understands about safer sex and what is and what isn't risky. That is why this section of these forums exists in the first place.

I also need to warn you about your last comment. We do not allow abusive comments on this forum. 

I'd be happy to discuss this further with you if you wish, but not in this thread - we are hijacking it. Please PM me if you wish to talk more.

Ann

PS - please read the Welcome thread found at the top of the Living With forum.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2006, 02:47:44 PM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #28 on: December 18, 2006, 07:56:46 AM »
Sorry guys I'm still worrying.
I have a weak enough immune system, susceptible to colds/flu etc, always tired. I'm worried that my immune system would be so weak that it wouldn't produce enough antibodies to be detected. I'm also waiting on bloods for Hep B. Would a Hep B diagnosis change the window period, in that my immune system would have been suppressed and not able to produce antibodies? Or am I being ridiculous?

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #29 on: December 18, 2006, 08:04:32 AM »
nearly,

If your immune system was so weak that you weren't producing antibodies, you would probably be living in a hospital ward and not well enough to be at home or work posting to an internet website.

Hep B does not change the window period.

You are hiv negative and you're just going to have to get used to that fact. If you cannot put this behind you and move on with your life, then perhaps it's time you sought counseling for your anxiety. We can't help you with that here.

If you've read the Welcome thread, you will know that we give time outs to people who use this site to repeatedly question their conclusive negative hiv results. This is to encourage you to see someone face-to-face about your anxiety. Please consider yourself warned. There is nothing more we can do for you here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #30 on: December 18, 2006, 09:36:17 AM »
Nearly, you seem to think that because your mind continues to come up with stuff to scare you with that it changes the reality as far as HIV science is concerned. Well, it doesn't.

You are HIV negative. PERIOD!

If you're having physical problems you should discuss them with your doctor.

Maybe it's time for you to be talking with a therapist or other professional to find out why you are holding on to a totally unfounded fear.

You see, your mind may continue to churn up stuff for a long time to come. Those are thoughts and feelings. They're not facts no matter how you try to misconstrue them otherwise. When they happen you can notice them, take a breath and let them go. What gets you into trouble is that you don't want to have the thoughts, which makes them stick like crazy glue. If you can go on to another thought, another feeling, then you get into the swing of things again.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #31 on: December 18, 2006, 09:42:23 AM »
I'm trying to follow your advice Andy, I really am, it's very very hard, and yes, I've begun therapy. Hopefully it will work. I'm a very very anxious person prone to feeling down. I am HIV negative. I've a problem to address - all this anxiety - but the problem isn't HIV. I understand.

In light of all you, Ann and Rod have said, I'll let this go. I have friends who have unprotected sex all the time and I've been talking to them about how stupid we've all been. I suppose a lesson has been learned at least. I'll never not wrap up again.

Thank you all for your time. I'm off to deal with my guilt and my anxiety. But HIV isn't my problem so I'm going to let that go.

Nearly

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #32 on: December 20, 2006, 10:29:37 AM »
Hi guys,
Well, I've accepted my conclusive  3 month negative diagnosis. I'm in counselling, thanks for your advice and help.
I've one final question: it's not HIV related but I can't find an answer anywhere else. You don't need to answer, even if you could point me in the right direction.
I realise now I was basically excessively worrying about something it was highly unlikely I'd contracted. HIV is so stigmatized, however, that I suppose once the thought got into my head I couldn't dispel it. Like Andy has suggested I've began taking a deep breath and doing that.
In reality, I should have been more concerned about Hep B, which is far more contagious. I've been deep kissing my girlfriend now throughout the last couple of months. My gums occasionally bleed, and three weeks after we began deep kissing again - approximately 8 weeks post exposure - she developed a severe flu like illness.

Have I been putting her at risk? I know Hep B is contagious. I'm getting results later this week I hope, but I don't want to deep kiss her anymore if I'm putting her at risk. We didn't have unprotected sex. I had NO idea you could transmit Hep B by kissing. Talk about being uninformed.

I've read a lot of people's entries over the last couple of weeks, and a lot of people are scared about infecting their partners. I suppose I'm just trying to pass on what I've learned. I've worried myself close to breaking point about a virus - highly stigmatized in the media - that I ultimately didn't have (HIV) even when everyone told me I was being silly. I didn't shed a moment's thought that I might have contracted Hep B.

I know this is off topic, just wondering if you guys could point me in the right direction? Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #33 on: December 20, 2006, 10:42:56 AM »
Discuss this with your doctor.

The most common ways of acquiring Hep B are through getting an infected person's blood (or semen) into your bloodstream through unprotected oral or anal sex. Or by sharing infected needles or other injecting equipment such as those used for tattooing or piercing.

The symptoms can take up to six months to appear, if they show up at all. Your doctor can test you for Hep B by drawing a blood sample. If they appear they will usually do so within 2-4 weeks and may include diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, fever, fatigue and loss of appetite as well as jaundiced skin and eyes, dark urine and pale feces.

Like I said, if this is a REAL concern, discuss it with your doctor. 
Andy Velez

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #34 on: December 20, 2006, 10:51:51 AM »
I suppose that would make kissing a bit of a risk so....
I'm getting my results soon, the doc has ordered a hep b test, it's just taking a little longer to come back than the HIV confirmatory bloods. He didn't mention it as a real risk but the results are delayed. Ergo, worrying a bit! I know it's off  topic but I appreciate your reply
I just couldn't believe how contagious and widespread it is.
But I've stopped worrying about HIV and am doing something about my anxiety.
Thanks for all your help you guys

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #35 on: December 20, 2006, 01:14:43 PM »
nearly,

Hep B is not spread through casual contact and kissing is considered to be casual contact.

Please read the hep B information found at this website.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2006, 04:54:59 AM »
Hi Ann, thanks for the reply,
I'd already read through that website, and I'm aware that casual contact isn't a means of transmission, and that includes kissing.
However, my concern is deep kissing. My gums bleed and since Hep B is very contagious, I'd be worried that I might have transmitted it to my girlfriend (Blood to blood, saliva to blood etc.). I just wasn't aware it was as contagious as it is. I just want to protect my girlfriend. She thinks I'm being ridiculous, but in fairness both of us were woefully uneducated about these things.
That's the only way I could have put her at risk. I've stopped deep kissing her until I get my results.

What a kerfuffle for Christmas! Thanks for the link, I know this is off topic but I appreciate your reply.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2006, 05:00:08 AM »
Doesn't matter even if it was "Deep" kissing. Still no risk.

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #38 on: December 21, 2006, 05:25:02 AM »
Really? Even with blood in the mouth? Wow. Oh that really has put my mind at ease!
I have to take whatever I'm given and deal with it. For three months I've been terrified of infecting anyone else with anything. Seeking counselling!
Rod, I'm just curious how you could be so sure? Thanks for your reply

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #39 on: December 21, 2006, 05:40:34 AM »
If deep kissing would be a cause for transmission. How many millions of people would already have AIDS, let alone HIV? Saliva has inhibiting proteins that inactivates the HIV virus. There has never been a documented case of HIV transmission by the means of "Deep Kissing" or "just plain ole kissing."

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #40 on: December 21, 2006, 05:46:16 AM »
Rod,
I was talking about Hep B, sorry I've gone off topic. I know that HIV isn't spread by deep kissing. I know I don't have HIV. And I'm thankful to all of you here for helping me accept that. I realise this isn't a Hep B forum and I'm sorry for wasting your time

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #41 on: December 22, 2006, 04:15:28 AM »
Ok so my tests  have all been confirmed. I'm negative for HIV and Hep B three months post exposure.
I can't find any information on the Hep B window period. Would a negative test three months later be definitive, or is there anywhere I can find out about this? I know this is a HIV forum, and I know I'm HIV negative, I just can't find reliable information about Hep B testing anywhere.

Thanks so much you guys, I hope you all have a happy Christmas:)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #42 on: December 22, 2006, 05:27:04 AM »
You really didn't look to hard now did you?  The incidence of HBV is higher among blood-transfusion recipients, male homosexuals,  dialysis patients, organ transplant patients, and intravenous (I.V.) drug users. It has a long incubation period (it takes anywhere from 5 weeks to 6 months for symptoms to appear after the person has been infected).

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003558.htm

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #43 on: December 22, 2006, 05:31:41 AM »
I looked everywhere and couldn't find that information. So essentially that means another test at 6 months to be certain?
Thanks for your help Rod

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #44 on: January 10, 2007, 07:22:34 AM »
Hi guys.
Well, I'm getting counselling for my anxiety and it's helping. I just have one question.
How many documented cases of people taking longer than 3 months to test positive actually exist?
As far as I can make out, there is NO evidence of this happening in the last ten years. I am grateful to everyone here for all their help, and I know I've been a pain. It's just when the CDC says 6 months, a mixture of confusion and anger takes over. Surely it would help if they clarified? If these rare cases are specific to people with serious health problems, surely they should specify on their website?
I've emailed them about this.
Thanks again guys, for all you do:)

Offline Ann

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #45 on: January 10, 2007, 08:11:00 AM »
nearly,

I've never been able to find any evidence of this happening in the past ten years either.

Don't forget who funds the CDC - and their (the White House Administration) take on sexuality and also their take on sex education. They prefer unworkable "Abstinence Only" to fact based information.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Female to Male Transmission
« Reply #46 on: January 10, 2007, 08:19:46 AM »
Thanks so much Ann,
Maybe that's what it is. It's ridiculous that they would post outdated information on this issue. If they updated, they would definitely save you guys a lot of stupid questions from crazies like me!
I hope all is well with you and that your enjoying 2007 on the Rock:)
Thanks as always:)

Offline oledantucker

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Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #47 on: February 02, 2007, 12:56:15 PM »
Hi,
Five months ago I had unprotected sex with a female of unknown status.
I tested negative at 86 days and want to move on with my life.
However, I am still anxious. I'm seeing a therapist and it has really helped. I'm not terrified anymore but I feel like I need a test at 6 months to put me in the clear.
I have some questions
1. You say thirteen weeks here. Thats 91 days. Did I test too soon?
2. Is a test at six months a bad idea?
3. How do you put up with all of this?!

Thanks for your help:)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #48 on: February 02, 2007, 12:59:08 PM »
You are reliably negative and you do not need to test any further.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Negative! Can I move on?
« Reply #49 on: February 02, 2007, 01:05:03 PM »
You're negative.  Take it to the bank.  No more testing needed.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

 


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