HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

Still very worried, need advice please

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Still Worried:
Hi, I was just wondering if I could have some advice, I am going crazy.  Over a month ago, I got extremely messed up one night (drugs,drinking,etc.)  I was out of town and had sex with this man I had just met and his friend who was a lesbian.  I also blew his friend on the same night.  There was no cum involved, I had unprotected oral sex with both men and the woman.  NO cum like I said but there was probably precum involved.  I had PROTECTED vaginal sex with the one man but not the other. They also all went down on me. After I got home I started getting very anxious about the incident as it really freaked me out, I had NEVER done anything like this before EVER.  I immediately contacted them and asked them if they had all been tested lately.  They had all been in the last couple of months so that eased my mind a little.  I did get tested a week later  however and everything came up negative.  I then started reading info on the web about the window period and all that and I started to get very very scared again.  I stressed myself out so badly, had about a 3 week nervous breakdown waiting to get retested.  About 2 weeks after that night I developed swollen lymph nodes in my groin and throat.  I have had lymph node problems before (I had been diagnosed with chronic fatigue last year).  I also developed hives all over my body which immediately disappeared within a half hour of appearing.  Had some mouth sores also but I did have a sinus infection and an ear infection and thats why I guessed that I had swollen lymphs.Also a fever that comes and goes. I got retested after 26 days and it was negative.  I calmed down a little, the counselor at the clinic told me there was a slim to none chance that you can get it from oral sex.  Is she right? What if my gums were sore?  I do smoke and sometimes I feel like I have sore gums.  WHat if precum or vaginal fluid got in there? IS that possible for infection? Anyways they all got retested the same week that I did(about 26 days after).  All tests were negative, but what if one of them is still in the window period as well?? what if they are lying?? The one man has an overactive immune system, can that block results???  I dont think they are lying but i dont know them too well.  I know I have stressed all 3 of them out because of all of this because they swear they know they dont have anything.  My PCP also told me that my symptoms were caused by stress and the something would have showed up on my last test if I were infected.  Sorry so long but I just need some help gettin through the next 2 months to get retested.  They said I didnt really need to come back to take another test but Im just very freaked out by the whole situation.  Is is possible that I am infected?  Please help!!!!!! Thanks!

Still Worried:
I didn't mean to say that I had protected vaginal sex with one man and not the other.  I DID have sex with the one man with a condom and I didnt have sex with the other man at all, except the oral, he couldnt keep it up on account of the stuff he had taken.  Thats what I meants to say. I did not have unprotected vaginal sex at all. Am I freaking out for no reason? Everyone tells me I am... I just can't get it out of my head ya know... Thanks any advice would be greatly appreciated.  I keep going through the what if's and maybe's. Thanks!!


You have been given good advice so far. It IS rare for hiv to be transmitted orally. There is only a very tiny chance of becoming infected through giving a blowjob where there was no ejaculation.

There is no way you would be infected from anyone going down on you.

You did the right thing in using a condom for intercourse because condoms are very effective when it comes to preventing hiv transmission.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being a mere 22 days. This means that your negative results thus far are very encouraging and should you decide to test again at the end of the three month window period, I am confident you will receive another negative result.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs. If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, please consider your recent tests as the beginning of your annual checks. As long as you make sure condoms are being used, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You mention you have been tested for other STIs, but with that sore throat you have had, I wonder if you also had a throat swab for chlamydia and/or gonorrhea? While it is rare for hiv to be transmitted orally, it is possible to get other infections in your throat from giving blowjobs. Get it checked out if you haven't already.

Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. Please read through the condom and lube links in my signature line, and check out the links on the left hand side of either of those pages for information on the female condom - they're quite good and also prevent hiv transmission. Please also read through the Welcome Thread for further links and information.


Andy Velez:
Ann's right on in what she has said to you so I am not going to be redundant. I expect you will come out of this ok when you do your HIV test.

However, there is one additional point that was an immediate red flag to me when I read. You were wasted on drugs and drinking when this incident happened. Mixing those things with impulsive sex is a mighty dangerous combination. I can't tell you how many people I've known or have reported becoming infected when in a similar condition.

I don't know what your personal history has been in the past, but if this kind of situation is common for you then you need to get help with addressing it. And even if this was a one-time situation, then it is still a wakeup call to avoid doing it again.

Hopefully you are going to test negative after the waiting period. But you need to remember and learn from this experience. Instead of getting further worked up over every scary thought your mind churns up, stay productively busy during this waiting period and you'll find it can pass more quickly and easily than you may imagine at this moment.

Good luck with your result.


Still Worried:
Thanks guys for replying, I really needed some expert advice. No, as I said, I have never done anything like that before I will most certainly never do anyting like that ever again. I am currently turned off by the whole idea of sex at this point now.  It's just not worth it unless it's with someone that I'm going to be with for awhile I've decided.  I'm still a little shaky and trying to put it out of my mind, but it is hard, and I will retest.  I just hate the idea of having to wait all summer to do it.

Can a 6 or 7 week test be sufficient? If so I will go back in like 3 weeks, that wouldnt be so hard to wait another 3 or 2 weeks.  I hope you are right that I will test negative again, as they all said they did.  I just had a bad feeling about the whole situation.  Thanks again.


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