Shiny Pancakes - Had nothing better to do.

[Jim Allen]

Some mindless writing following a bad dream.

Shiny Pancakes:

As he entered the large Irish kitchen, he realized as he glanced over the table that it was set not only for her and the kids but also for one more, presumably for him. It struck him as odd as she had not cooked anything for him since the separation nearly 9 months ago.

He looked over to where his ex was busy cooking something on the stove, and said: Cooking are we?

Yes she said, I’m making pancakes, take a seat. He slowly sat down still feeling quite surprised at the fact she was making him lunch. The table was set for 4, presumably for the 2 children, his ex and himself.

He sat down on the side of the table that he used to sit at during family meal times back when they had been a happy family. Suddenly he had a flashback to the last time he had sat there, It was one Sunday dinner time many months ago. He can still recall the day as it had been a very busy Sunday dinner with a lot of excited discussion and anticipation from all of them as they discussed the things to do and see during the upcoming Holiday trip abroad. He can recall how happy they had seemed or at least that’s what he had thought at the time.
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the loud shout from the corner of kitchen. Kids, lunch is ready! She bellowed.

Waiting for the kids to join them in the kitchen she started plating the pancakes, as she put down his plate of pancakes in front of him she suddenly said ”Your ones came out a bit shiny, I’m not sure why but they taste fine”
The kids came running into the kitchen at that moment and joined him at the table and with a lot of chatter and moaning about how lunch was interrupting some TV show they had been watching, a few seconds later they settled in and sat down and got dug into the plates of pancakes in front of them.

He looked down at the pancakes on the plate in front of him, and then slowly looked up realizing when he did that his ex’s eyes were fixed on him with a look of anticipation. Panic suddenly sets in and he completely and utterly froze for a number seconds like a bunny rabbit that freezes in the headlight of oncoming road traffic, it was total fear and shock that had grasped hold of his mind as if fear itself was squeezing the capacity to think out of him. Then suddenly after a few seconds and without much thinking he gave a slightly nervous smile and said calmly; Thank you.

He looks at the kids pancakes and his ex’s plate across the table, they all seem normal enough, it’s just that his have an odd shiny look about them, nearly like they had been dipped in some type of waxy substance. He started to sweat nervously as his mind started to race; what do I do now runs through his mind, how to get out of eating the pancakes? I could claim to be feeling ill, No that won’t work he realized having just told her when he dropped off the kids less than 20 minutes ago that he felt great when she had asked him how he was doing.  He desperately tries to calm himself and control his speeding mind. He tries to convince himself that it’s fine, the pancakes are safe and it is just him fearing the worst for no reason at all. Then again he wonders if it’s worth the risking his life on this, is he truly willing to bet his life that the “shiny” pancakes are safe. No, knowing her he is not willing to wager his life on it.

How to get out of eating them, he has to do something right now he realizes, otherwise she is going to start getting suspicious soon. Amy! Amy is the answer the dog had not eaten yet and it’s a bad habit but she often shared or gets fed scraps from the table. “Amy, come here he called”. No cried his ex, don’t give the dog any of the pancakes. He looks at her face and he can see the panic in her eyes now, nearly a full 2 or 3 seconds passed but to him this felt like an eternity. Breaking the silence she then said “I cooked them for you”

By this time and all excited Amy had joined the table and sat at his legs waging her tail. A few minutes passed in absolute silence his eyes locked onto her face, the cold face of his ex whose expression had changed from initial shock of offering the pancakes to the dog to a clear cold hatred. by now the kids had just finished their pancakes and so he told them they could be excused and they rushed off towards living room.

Trying to remain as calm as he could he said; Shiny pancakes! You’re seriously trying to poison me now, don’t you think that’s extreme even for you.! “How dare you, get out of my house” she cried. 
He grabbed his jacket that had been hanging over the kitchen chair and said nothing, got up and slowly made his way across the kitchen and out to the hall way. Making his way down the hallway he figured at this stage it was obvious for him that she was more upset with getting caught then with the accusation of trying to poison him. He said nothing as he walked through the hall way and closed the front door behind him. Leaving the house he knew she would never hurt the kids and that they are safe, he and he alone was the target.
Getting into his car, he felt a deep sense of relief in knowing she had tried to kill him.

He had been feeling a deep guilt for paying the 30.000 Euro to have his ex-wife killed but now that huge feeling of guilt had suddenly been lifted and it gave him the reassurance he was doing the right thing.

[Wade]

We have our very own Alfred Hitchcock...