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Author Topic: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet  (Read 3666 times)

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Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« on: November 22, 2006, 10:36:30 AM »
Our friend, Jim, who was diagnosed with PML, is in an unresponsive state and has a fever and his lungs are filling up with fluid.  His mother has ordered the nursing home to give him hospice care.  He is under a DNR order.
This year Thansgiving will be a death watch for us. 
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2006, 10:47:29 AM »
I'm sorry to hear that, Bear...   :'(

I hope your friend's transition is peaceful.

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2006, 10:50:03 AM »
So very sorry to hear that Bear.

Offline cmhjeff

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Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2006, 10:58:33 AM »
Bear,
I'm so so sorry! I've thought about you and your friend often and had  hope you would post good news at some point. It's times like this that I feel helpless and find it hard not to give up on hope. I hope Jim finds peace. By no means do I mea to hijack your thread but I understand your sadness because my partner Jeffrey lost his Dad yesterday and we are handling the arrangements for the funeral today.
Jeff

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2006, 11:13:19 AM »
Thanks Jeff.  I am so sorry I couldnt post good news.  But his condition has continued to deteriorate rapidly.  I think it was hardest for him when he could still understand what was happening.  He was in tears and distraught when he was still aware of his condition.  He worried about his "things" and tried to make lists. But he couldnt write so the writing came out as scribbles.
I just hope he does not linger and as you said Alan, I hope his transition is easy.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,706
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2006, 11:24:51 AM »


   Bear,

       I so do not know the things to say...   I've sat here agonizing about my own situation and then I see that Jim has it far worse than anything I am going through.   Your description of his desperation trying to write, brought me to tears.   While I hope to God that he pulls out of this, I know the chances are slim if any.   If it is god's will that he leaves this earth I , like the others, hope the transition is one free of pain and worry...

      I am sorry...

      I am sorry you have to go through this...  I am sorry he is suffering..

      Sending my prayers Jim's way...

       Thomas

I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,105
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2006, 01:06:45 PM »
Bear,

Maybe Thanksgiving is a moment of reflection on Jim's life.
I so wished I could do something..the only thing is sending him good energy and wishing him a smooth ride to the other side.

Jeff and Jeffrey,my thoughts are with you for the loss of your daddy.

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2006, 03:19:04 PM »
Dear Bear-Good Spirit,

I am thankful for your care of Jim.

In peace and love,
Drew

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2006, 04:27:07 PM »
Joel...   Jim is in our prayers..  Nothing more can I say..  Please know we will be thinking about you. 

Love

Eric & Will

Online Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
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Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2006, 04:39:14 PM »
Thoughts and hugs with you guys, Bear, and with your friend.

Thinking of you all,
Andy Velez

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2006, 04:44:39 PM »
Bear,
I am so sorry for your friend's illness. He is very lucky to have such a caring friend as you. May he transition peacefully, with comfort and love surrounding him.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2006, 05:26:29 PM »
Hey Bear,

These circumstances are unfortunate. I am sorry to hear this situation. Hang in there.


Make the BEST of each Day!


Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2006, 05:32:36 PM »
Bear...my thoughts and prayers are with you and Jim during these difficult times.

May peace be with you both.


Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2006, 07:24:05 PM »
Bear, so sorry to hear the news just as a holiday- family day- is upon us.  I thank you for taking the time and strength to let us know what is going on and wish peace on you all. Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,951
  • AM member since 2003
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2006, 07:30:36 PM »
Oh bear, I'm so sorry to read this, Jim is indeed lucky to have you there with him..please know you are both in my prayers.

((((hugs)))
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2006, 08:01:15 PM »
Bear

I'm sorry too.  I hope your friend's passing is quick and painless.

My heart goes out to you.

RAB

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,251
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2006, 08:51:36 PM »
Hello Bear,

My thoughts go out to you, your friend and his family. I do understand....


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline northernguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,347
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2006, 02:21:55 AM »
I'm very sorry to hear about this.  He's fortunate to have friends like you.
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #18 on: November 23, 2006, 02:28:18 AM »
Sorry to hear about your friend, Bear. It sounds like his time is near but you have been a great friend to him. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2006, 05:17:40 PM »
Dear Bear,

Thinking of you and your friend Jim. May you find strength; may he find peace.

((((Bear))))

Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline newt

  • Member
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  • the one and original newt
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #20 on: November 23, 2006, 05:22:47 PM »
Super big bugger  :( thoughts n prayers mr . . . - newt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline RevMC

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
  • It's me!
    • Psychic AwakeningSchool.com
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #21 on: November 23, 2006, 05:47:31 PM »
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Jim.

May God watch over you,
Help and comfort you
in this moment of need

May God and his Angels
Come quickly for Jim if it be his time

May they comfort Jim and help Jim
On his journey after this life

If it is not his time to leave this world
May he be given the strength to get better
and not be in pain

May he be comforted
May he find peace

Love and Light,

Rev. Michael
Part of my story: "Sale Of A Lifetime" POZ December 2003
http://www.poz.com/articles/172_752.shtml

Started on Truvada and Viramune on 2/15/07

Jan 8, 2007   t-cells 215  Viral Load 10,000  24%
March 26'th  T-cells 306   Viral Load  UNDETECTABLE
June 2007 t-cells 375 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE
August 2007 t-cells 290 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE



Love and Light and Reiki sent your way,
Rev. Michae

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #22 on: November 23, 2006, 06:38:22 PM »
Thinking of you both, bear.
Peace.
steve
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2006, 08:12:18 PM »
great friend you are for being there for him til the end, and for being there for his mother too. thinking of you bear

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,648
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2006, 08:40:33 PM »
bear....I'll be thinking of you both today.  You're a good man.

robert 
..........

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,404
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #25 on: November 24, 2006, 12:15:52 AM »
Bear, I wish you strength in this trying time and a peaceful transition for Jim.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,042
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #26 on: November 24, 2006, 03:34:33 AM »
I will be thinking of you 3 this Thanksgiving,
sending you wishes of love and strength.

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #27 on: November 24, 2006, 11:58:30 AM »
The most amazing thing happened yesterday.  One of our friends, who is a gay Catholic priest, decided he should go visit Jim.  He had delayed going to see Jim because he felt Jim, who is Catholic, didn't like the fact that he was gay and STILL a Catholic priest. When he got there yesterday Jim was alert enough to recognize him, Jim squeezed his hand, and was given the Prayers for the Sick and Dying ( is that called the last rites?) anyway it forgives you of all your sins so you can go to heaven.  The priest told us Jim was crying .  A bit later when Kurt was there, Jim was asleep and peaceful so Kurt didn't disturb him.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline RevMC

  • Member
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  • It's me!
    • Psychic AwakeningSchool.com
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #28 on: November 24, 2006, 12:48:18 PM »
Yes, that was the last rites he received.

It's amazing, even this close to the end, how people recognize certain people and not others.

He is at peace now that your friend came over to give him last rites.  I had a friend of mine in the same situation.  He didn't recognize many people, yet he recognized me right away.

Still thinking about all of you and keeping all of you in my prayers.

Rev. Michael
Part of my story: "Sale Of A Lifetime" POZ December 2003
http://www.poz.com/articles/172_752.shtml

Started on Truvada and Viramune on 2/15/07

Jan 8, 2007   t-cells 215  Viral Load 10,000  24%
March 26'th  T-cells 306   Viral Load  UNDETECTABLE
June 2007 t-cells 375 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE
August 2007 t-cells 290 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE



Love and Light and Reiki sent your way,
Rev. Michae

Offline AtomicA

  • Member
  • Posts: 156
  • that's Famous with an F
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #29 on: December 02, 2006, 12:02:15 AM »
I don't know who wrote it, but this was on the back of my the program at my mom's funeral. I'm not religious at all but it helped me alot

God saw you getting tired
when a cure was not to be,
so He closed his arms around you
and whispered, "come with me".
Your gold heart stopped beating,
your gentle hands at rest.
God took you to His loving home
He only takes the best.
You suffered much in silence
your spirit did not bend.
You faced your pain with courage
until the very end.
In tears we saw you sinking,
we watched you fade away.
Our hearts were almost broken,
you fought so hard to stay.
But when we saw you sleeping
so peaceful, free from pain,
we could not wish you back
to suffer that again.

It took me a couple of days to find it. I wish you strength.

Offline Florida69

  • Member
  • Posts: 428
Re: The Saddest Thanksgiving Yet
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2006, 10:06:36 AM »
Bear I am sending good thoughts your way, I hope that you are doing better and remember that Jim was a better person having you in his life, and you are better for being his friend...  Take care, D

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Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

 


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