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Author Topic: seeking for help...  (Read 10789 times)

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Offline i_wonder

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seeking for help...
« on: November 28, 2006, 12:57:14 PM »
hi guys at aidsmeds!

kudos to all of you for making the worried ones feel very encouraged and helping to relieve whatever anxiousness we have...

and with that, i'd also love to hear from you to enlighten me on this...

i live in the philippines, and is 26 at present..

something has been bothering me for the past (almost) 2 months...

in October 3, 2006, I had a very intense kissing session with a guy.. this session didn't have any sexual act involved. however i had cracks in my lips due to the humid weather. after that he told me he's experiencing upset stomach a lot, and tends to vomit a lot of the time... what if his vomit has blood in it? but then i'd never kiss a guy who has vomitus in his mouth...

3 days later, i had tonsilitis (and swollen throat i suppose from this) and a high fever (at 41C)... i had NO swollen lymph nodes however... this lasted for 2 days.

i was very anxious at that time, and kept asking "how come?"

then came November 10... i met another guy and yes, we had oral sex and intense kissing (i'm quite a good kisser, LOL)... but I am the only one being "sucked"... we met again 2 days later, and once more we did it, with the same scenario as in our first encounter. as i can assure, no anal was involved...

then 2 days after that, he texted me and told me he' s having fever, muscle ache, and difficulty swallowing.. "oops, similar things i felt last october! except for muscle ache"... and well, he told me he's already okay the next day.

but it has alarmed me a lot!!! why would that happen?

so i followed your advice (i'm a regular guest of your forums)... got tested despite it's only been 54 days since that all this anxiousness started... i ran to the diagnostic laboratory... they got my blood sample... after that, i prayed so hard, i almost cried in church while lighting a candle...

this has been my fourth hiv testing since 2000 (i'm a very very paranoid person :)... i'm a big fan of the laboratories!

well, just got the results and it says:
HIV 1 and 2 : NONREACTIVE
Patient's value: 0.055
Cut-off Value : 0.106

... well i yelled a big woo-hoo after that...

but still, some part of my paranoid brain tells me "is there a reason to celebrate?"... oh, the anxiousness and the worries!

come on guys, tell me, is there really a reason to celebrate?

my hats off to all of you: ann, rapid, andy, matty, and everyone!

begging for your replies...
 

Offline megasept

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  • Steven here...
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2006, 02:21:19 PM »
Yes, there's reason to celebrate. Your result!

I do not want to give an opinion on your "risk" situation you describe, since I am not an expert. A general answer is kissing and oral sex are not risky. Sorry you are "paranoid", but just enjoy your good results and get on with your life!
-megasept  8)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2006, 03:35:13 PM »
You weren't at risk to begin with so it's hardly a surprise that you've repeatedly tested negative for HIV. No testing was necessary.

The real question is why you are still dragging around this closed issue so long after you have confirmed that you are HIV negative.

Please don't waste the effort explaining the causes for your concern, etc. That's all irrelevant. You're HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Don't you have anything better to do with your life than play around with this stuff?
Andy Velez

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2006, 09:04:08 PM »
thanks guys... but what i meant was what happened in October-November of 2006...

i just happened to mention that i always go straight to the laboratories ever since i became aware of the dreaded disease in 2000...

i am just wondering why my partner had fever and tonsillitis just two days after we made "love" (LoL!) ... isn't that an indicator of ARS?

oh, serenity... come upon me!

Offline HIVworker

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2006, 11:05:08 PM »
No it is not an indication of ARS. You were not exposed. As you have been running to the clinical labs for 6 years you should do something about that. Stop being so scared and get with the program. Educate yourself on how it is transmitted and avoid that activity. Kissing isn't one of them. It's a good way of getting some viruses, but certainly NOT HIV. Not ever.

Rich
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2006, 10:27:02 PM »
thanks a lot to you megasept, andy, and hivworker! you guys are "bossa nova" to my ears!

but one last bugging question before i fold this up... so the fever and tonsilitis experienced by my partner (two days after we made love in November 2006) were not in any way connected with hiv?

and was my decision to get tested after 54 days a guarantee?

hats off to you guys!

P.S. The previous hiv testings i had since 2000 were from diffrent occassions... i guess i was misunderstood with that.. what i am really concerned a lot was with this recent encounter in October 2006... the fever and tonsilitis..

Offline HIVworker

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2006, 11:05:18 PM »
2 days is way too quick for HIV symptoms. They come on minimally over a week after exposure, usually 2 weeks is the common minimum. 1 week has been heard of, but it is hard to say whether it was HIV because it is common to get flu/cold symptoms and it is hard to tell. That's why symptoms mean nothing.

R
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2006, 11:35:10 PM »
thanks rich!  ;)

how about that 54 day laboratory testing i had in this case, should i stop the worrying?

Offline HIVworker

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2006, 11:42:28 PM »
For kissing and receiving a blow job? I wouldn't worry about that. You didn't need to test, but the fact you tested negative at that time is good enough.

Rich
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2006, 07:14:49 PM »
thank you rich! ;)

however, im still wondering why my partner then had fever and sore throat? could that be caused by other stuff?


Offline HIVworker

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2006, 09:26:58 PM »
It doesn't matter what your friend had. You didn't do anything to put you at risk. Even if they were infected, you would not be. However, to answer your question, the most common cause of fever and sore throats is a cold or flu. There are about 90 million cases per year in the USA. You decide which is more likely.

R
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2006, 08:38:21 PM »
whew... its a countdown to christmas and a countdown (2nd week of January 2007) to the 13-week test as well,,, thanks for the replies especially from Rich, i know there's no need for further testing, since as you said its a no-risk situation... just for psychological reasons.

however there still are times that i worry about the fever and tonsillitis my partner had (yet im not sure if he got those from me) after the blowjob and deep kissing (with cracks on the lips... grrr)...

its the only thing bothering me. everytime i think about it, i feel a tumbling world... can a person be a "flu-carrier" or "tonsilitis-carrier" for life? still a little scared to make love to anyone... please help with that...  ???

 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2006, 04:21:13 AM »
No, you don't carry either for life.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2006, 09:34:42 AM »
rod, do you think its just coincidence? i mean, i feel like i lost "manhood", i'm even afraid to ask someone out... not a total lack of self-esteem, but i guess i'm nearing there...

could it be possible that i have been carrying that "tonsilitis-virus" (dunno how to call it) up to a month after mine subsided? ???
« Last Edit: December 10, 2006, 09:36:57 AM by i_wonder »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #14 on: December 10, 2006, 10:09:10 AM »
Seek the help of and ENT specialist. This is not an HIV concern.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2006, 10:16:58 AM »
thank you bro... and a blissful CHRISTMAS to everyone!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #16 on: December 10, 2006, 11:45:21 AM »
Do yourself and your partner a favor and get straight with this. You went straying because you're a dog like the rest of us. Nothing you did put you at risk for HIV.

You can't change that piece of your history. See it, take a good deep breath and let it go. That's the best holiday gift you could give yourself and your partner. No kidding.
Andy Velez

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2006, 12:18:24 PM »
hi there...

anyways, i had a small talk to a doctor yesterday and he looked at my throat... He said i have "kissing tonsils"... he then prescribed Co-Amoxiclav.....

is it synonymous to mononucleiosis (i forgot to ask him, since this was just a small chat)?  could it be that all the anxieties i felt were just from that? or should i be alarmed?


hoping for your replies, please...just to ease up my worries at this time... all of your words have been very much appreciated  ;D




(... and 2 weeks to go before the 13-week countdown  :)) 
« Last Edit: December 21, 2006, 12:21:02 PM by i_wonder »

Offline Ann

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2006, 03:18:06 PM »
wonder,

Mononucleosis is not helped by antibiotics as it is a virus. I've never heard of it being called "kissing tonsils". If you had questions about what you were being diagnosed with, I cannot imagine why you didn't ask the doctor. Do you think we have crystal balls to fathom out what your doctor was thinking? If you want answers about "kissing tonsils", I suggest you call your doctor and ask him.

This is an hiv website, not a kissing illness website. Kissing and hiv have nothing to do with each other.

Kissing is NOT a risk for hiv infection and you do not need to test over a kiss.

There is nothing more we can do for you here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ACinKC

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2006, 05:21:29 PM »
Just an FYI wonder,

Some children are born with or develop "kissing tonsils". These are tonsils so large that they meet in the middle of the back of the mouth. When they get sick, children with kissing tonsils often get a muffled voice, have problems swallowing, or may have trouble breathing. If you look into your child's mouth, and the tonsils are kissing, notify your doctor. Your doctor may need to give a course of medication to decrease the swelling of these tonsils.


This was a quick search on your tonsil situation.  It just means they are ENLARGED. 

I strongly urge you to heed the advice of the others and get help for your anxiety.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2006, 05:23:19 PM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline i_wonder

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  • Posts: 36
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #20 on: December 21, 2006, 06:18:11 PM »
thank you ann & ACinKC  :D

whew, so it means that the tonsils are just enlarged... is this not indicative of ARS whatsoever?

just worried...

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #21 on: December 21, 2006, 06:55:01 PM »
No it does not have any correlation with HIV.

Offline i_wonder

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  • Posts: 36
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #22 on: December 21, 2006, 09:05:19 PM »
thank you rod!

however, will this not affect my plans to have the 13-week test? does this kind of situation affect seroconversion, suppose my immunity is quite suppressed?

sorry for bothering... :(

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #23 on: December 21, 2006, 09:11:02 PM »
No, it will not deter your test.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2006, 09:21:56 PM »
thanks again, rod :D

does it simply mean that the test i'll be having at the 13-week mark is very much conclusive, despite the "kissing-tonsils-immune-depressed" things raging in my head?

Offline Ann

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #25 on: December 21, 2006, 09:49:11 PM »
wonder,

You don't need to test over a kiss as kissing is not a risk for hiv infection. You can take the test anytime and it will be conclusive.

You may want to get your eyes checked, because you seem to keep missing where we tell you that kissing is not a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline i_wonder

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #26 on: December 23, 2006, 10:05:51 AM »
happy holidays everyone!

well, very much less anxious now... i'm ready to date again!

and just this afternoon, i met a new date for the season...

we enjoyed each other's company, and agreed to have anal... it was actually my first time to do this, i promise.

I am the one on TOP,and he bottomed... Of course, I followed your advise about correct condom & lube use... well, it was fun!

however, before all the anxieties (oh c'mon) start all over again, i just have to ask this question...

After having sex, I didn't remove the condom immediately as we checked out of the room. It was still in my penis,and I'm wearing briefs with the condom in it.. I am thinking if the SCROTUM can absorb anything bothersome. Can it?

I took a bath two hours later, and only then did i removed the condom...
i'm begging for an answer so as to preempt anxieties... thank you guys in advance! 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #27 on: December 23, 2006, 10:12:07 AM »
We can't do any thing here for you having some kind of condom fetish. You don't have to worry about your scrotum absorbing anything. Try reading the lessons, the link is found in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #28 on: December 23, 2006, 10:35:59 AM »
thank you rod...

so it means that the SCROTUM is also as reliable as the skin being a barrier of anything troublesome?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #29 on: December 23, 2006, 10:48:51 AM »
The last time I looked down at my scrotum, it was constructed of skin.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #30 on: December 29, 2006, 04:33:00 PM »
hi guys...

since now i'm officially on my 12th week, i'm headin straight to the labs just to ease all of this worries up...

HOWEVER, while lurking at the other threads at our forums, i've read that people diagnosed with immune disorders have to test at 6 months...

i'm quite terrified because of my enlarged tonsils,,, is it considered an immune disorder? should i postpone my "3-month-waiting-to-be-happy" hiv test? please respond... starting to feel worried again  ???

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #31 on: December 29, 2006, 04:42:08 PM »
You didn't have a risk, you don't have an immune disorder and you don't need to test. There is nothing more to add to this thread.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #32 on: December 29, 2006, 05:03:05 PM »
An impaired immune system is not a subtle event when it happens. Your body is essentially collapsing in various ways and you would know it for sure. Your swollen tonsils do not imply that you have an immune system problem.

Get yourself tested, collect what I expect will be a negative result and then you will be faced with the challenge of letting go of this concern and getting on with your life.

 
Andy Velez

Offline i_wonder

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #33 on: January 06, 2007, 08:51:44 PM »
first of all, i'd want everyone to know how happy and ecstatic i am after EXACTLY THREE MONTHS of agony and hell-raising anxiety, all has folded up after i got the results of my testing yesterday:

HIV I/II: NONREACTIVE

Patient Count: 0.063
Cut-off Value:  0.133


Rod, Rich, Andy, Ann, Megasept, ACinKC, and to all who in one way or another helped ease up my anxieties, wish you all the best in life! God Bless :)

... one more favor please: assure me that HIV has nothing to do with enlarged tonsils  :D

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #34 on: January 07, 2007, 08:05:00 AM »
guys,

is being OVERWEIGHT a factor in the 13-week testing? i'm overweight (as in obese big guy)... just had the results yesterday and i'd love to know if it being really fat makes it harder for antibodies to show up... :(

please help (again)....

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #35 on: January 07, 2007, 08:39:08 AM »
wonder,

Being fat has nothing to do with it.

You are conclusively hiv negative and it's time you moved on with your life.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline i_wonder

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #36 on: January 17, 2007, 08:04:59 PM »
guys,

I live in the PHILIPPINES, and the tests performed on me were also from laboratories in here... well, the labs look really modern and i know for a fact that it is bcuz i live in the city of Manila...

However, i would love to know if the tests performed here (ELISA too, i suppose), will also be as reliable as the tests performed in your respective countries? are the machines & techniques used in here be different from yours? can i truly say it is really conclusive at the 13-week period?

my blood was withdrawn on a thursday... the processing was done on a friday, then i got the results the following DAY w/c is saturday... i was wondering why you guys have to wait for two weeks, to get your results?

please respond...  ???

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #37 on: January 17, 2007, 08:08:00 PM »
Depends on the labs work load how fast you get your results back.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #38 on: January 18, 2007, 07:59:38 AM »
what does it mean?

do our testing facilities here, and of course the ELISA procedure, picks up the same antibodies as in your respective countries?

mods, please enlighten me on this one... im begging  :(

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #39 on: January 18, 2007, 08:37:46 AM »
Yes all Elisa tests are the same.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #40 on: January 18, 2007, 06:03:03 PM »
...but i kept on thinking why you guys have to wait for two weeks just to get your results, while in here, it just takes A DAY? how is that possible? is ELISA there also ELISA here?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #41 on: January 18, 2007, 08:01:05 PM »
Depends on the test and the lab. That is the only reason for a longer waiting period.

Offline i_wonder

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #42 on: January 19, 2007, 10:22:06 AM »
thanks rod...

so can i rely on the ELISA test done on me? all ELISAs detect at 13 weeks, no matter what location i may be, right?

 ???

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #43 on: January 19, 2007, 10:25:46 AM »
I don't see a reason not to trust your lab.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #44 on: January 19, 2007, 10:58:09 AM »
Geography has nothing to do with effectiveness of the test.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline i_wonder

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bothered again by oral sex
« Reply #45 on: June 15, 2007, 10:29:48 AM »
hi there guys.. me again...

thanks a lot for all the infos you gave... they meant a lot!

however i beg for your help again regarding this incident...

2 days ago, i had sex with a guy i met online.. he seemed very eager to have sex with me, and since it has been a long time since i had done it with anyone, i agreed... i kind of liked him too..

we had an ALL-NIGHTER, but only oral and alittle frottage. I am the one being sucked, and he deep-throated me a lot! In return, i licked his scrotum and almost his entire body but I did not suck his penis. he was very much happy with it anyways.

afterwards we chatted... he told me he just had sex with a foreigner last month.. kind of freaked me out, thinkin it was risky.

Today, we had a date. while talking with him, i noticed a sore that is starting to heal on the side of his mouth... i asked him what it is, and he replied it was a COLD SORE he had since last week...

so now im bothered again... we kissed a lot, and he deep-throated me (as in really deep) all night...

any chances of getting hiv this way? i'm too anxious to wait for 13 weeks again... my heart keeps on pumpin very fast...

thanks for any inputs you'll provide,,, it will be very much appreciated and followed :)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #46 on: June 15, 2007, 10:34:18 AM »
Read the transmission lesson. The link can be found in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #47 on: June 15, 2007, 10:35:27 AM »
wonder,

Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection, deep-throat or no deep-throat.

The only thing the cold sore put you at risk for is herpes. Cold sore is another way of saying herpes. You can get herpes on your penis. If you have concerns about this, see your doctor. It is absolutely NOT an hiv concern.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline i_wonder

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  • Posts: 36
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #48 on: June 15, 2007, 10:41:52 AM »
thanks ann..

what if there was blood in his sore? i'm trying myself not to get scared again...

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 27,948
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: seeking for help...
« Reply #49 on: June 15, 2007, 06:26:02 PM »
wonder,

Herpes sores don't have blood in them - and I know that first hand. Even if it did, you didn't have a risk.

Getting a blowjob, no matter what sort of spin you want to put on it, is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Not one single person has ever become infected this way and you certainly won't be the first.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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