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Author Topic: Final Post on Jim  (Read 4694 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Final Post on Jim
« on: November 27, 2006, 08:08:22 AM »
Our friend who had PML died yesterday afternoon. His Mom had come in from Tucson and we met her at the nursing home.  Jim was having great trouble breathing and fortunately the hospice nurse showed up soon after we arrived.  With her help, JIm began to breath easier but it was clear that he was near death. His temperature was 106.2 and the fluid in his lungs had increased. His eyes were fixed and he was semi comatose. We stroked him and used cool compresses on his face and neck.  The hospice nurse told us that he was holding on but that if we gave him permission to go he would.  So through our tears we all told him it was time for him to let go and he did.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2006, 08:27:51 AM »
Dear Bear,
Losing someone is never easy, even when you know what is coming.

Jim is out of pain now. Having been in the same situation, I know this is little solace, but please know my thoughts and heart are with you.

(((((((HUG)))))))


Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Maestro

  • Member
  • Posts: 225
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2006, 08:30:50 AM »
Very sorry for the loss.  Was Jim a regular poster on this forum?

M

Offline Angel-Ronnie

  • Member
  • Posts: 434
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2006, 08:35:15 AM »
Dearest Joel, I'm so sorry and my heart and thoughts and prayers are with you and Kurt.
Bide the Wiccan law ye must,
In perfect love and perfect trust
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill
An' ye harm none, do what ye will.

What ye send forth comes back to thee,
so ever mind the Law of three,
follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2006, 08:35:40 AM »
your voices and love were around him til the end. big hug ... get some rest honey

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,302
  • His name is Carl.
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2006, 08:36:05 AM »
Love you, Bear.  My thoughts are with you and Kurt as well.

Tim
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2006, 08:52:10 AM »
Bear,

Jim's ordeal has ended and with your comforting words and gentle touches his transition was loving and peaceful.  I'm sorry for the loss you've had but admire the commitment and strength you showed for Jim when he needed it most.

R.I.P. Jim

RAB

Online Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,388
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #7 on: November 27, 2006, 09:47:06 AM »
My condolences to you, Bear. You were a good friend to him until the end. What a loving service to do for a friend, to make the letting go as good as possible.

May you be comforted now.

Cheers,   
Andy Velez

Offline pozguy75

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,239
    • POZitively Speaking
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2006, 10:00:10 AM »
Oh Sweetie! My deepest condolences...I know that doesn't help to bring him back, but here ((((((HUGZ)))))))

All the love I can muster, I am sending to you!
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #9 on: November 27, 2006, 10:02:13 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear this Bear. I hope the pain of his passing passes quickly, and your memories of Jim linger forever.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2006, 10:55:09 AM »
My condolences to you and your friend's family.

You are in my thoughts.

Melia
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,099
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2006, 11:08:13 AM »
Hello Bear,

My deepest condolences go out to you And Jim's Family. I know how difficult this is.


Gone from My Site
   
By Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)


 I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky come to mingle with each other.


Then someone at my side says "there, she is gone !"


"Gone where?"


 Gone from my site. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.


Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says" There she is gone!" There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout : "Here she comes!


And that is dying...





My thoughts go out to you----------Ray
« Last Edit: November 27, 2006, 11:09:59 AM by J.R.E. »
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2006, 11:15:34 AM »
Bear.  Very sorry to hear the final chapter and grateful for your taking the time, despite how difficult it must have been, to post the news to us.  As you can read, we all send hugs and love to you and your partner.  Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2006, 11:16:52 AM »
Bear,

So sorry for the loss of your friend. Im sure it was a great comfort to have you and his mother at his side. You and Jims family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2006, 12:44:37 PM »
Joel, you and your partner did a wonderful and beautiful thing.  Jim was with friends and family right up to the very ending/beginning.    I know he knew you were by his side as he "moved on"....  That comfort for Jim will never be forgotten neither by Jim or his family.  May we all be so blessed when that time comes to be amoungst loving family and dear friends such as you...

Farewell for now Jim, and God Bless.... Your Spirit Soars...

Love


Eric & Will

Offline gemini20

  • Member
  • Posts: 262
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #15 on: November 27, 2006, 01:19:38 PM »
Dear Bear,

My condolences to you and Jim's family at his passing. Giving someone permission to let go is one of the hardest experiences we can go through and yet it can also be seen as the greatest gift you can ever give to someone that you have loved and cared for.

I hope that you will gain comfort and strength from somewhere to guide you through this difficult time.

In love and light for Jim's spirit.

Emma



Diagnosed 11th September 1991
Current CD4 count 484 (26%); viral load undetectable (December 2011).
Restarting boosted Prezista 08/04/11

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #16 on: November 27, 2006, 03:13:30 PM »
bear,
I am so sorry about Jim's passing. He was very blessed to have people around him at the end who showed love, compassion and dignity when he needed it the most. Peace be with you, your family and Jim's family.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,937
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #17 on: November 27, 2006, 05:47:10 PM »
Oh Bear.. :'(

I'm so sorrry for the loss of your dear friend Jim, but I'm glad you were able to be with him at the end...your tears are my tears...my thoughts and prayers are with you and Jim's family...

Although Jim has gone
he will live on
in the hearts of those who loved him.

Love
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #18 on: November 27, 2006, 05:51:35 PM »
Hello Bear,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I do extend my condolances to you and the family.

Take care.

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #19 on: November 27, 2006, 07:04:39 PM »
Thank you all for your condolences.  I cant really begin to speak to each of you individually, so let me assure you that your friendship has made a great difference to me.  Thank you for "being there."
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #20 on: November 27, 2006, 07:11:04 PM »
Hey Bear,

You are WELCOME. We are here to support each other.


Take care.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,604
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #21 on: November 27, 2006, 07:21:06 PM »
Joel,

My condolences on the loss of your friend.   His pain is over.

Alan   :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline water duck

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #22 on: November 27, 2006, 07:33:16 PM »
It is never easy to say good-bye, but then you should considered given a precious gift to be there at that moment, telling him :

it pains me so, but i can't be selfish , but to let you go first !! so you shall suffer no more.

i did that to my late BF, and he went. guess, the pain would be more unbearable not being there. i have no words to share , just like to reach out my hand and touch you as a gesture to say i understand your loss.

Siang

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #23 on: November 27, 2006, 08:07:43 PM »
I don't know you, but you have been a true friend to Jim... an even rarer and more precious thing than love, I think. 

My deepest sympathies.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline JohnOso

  • Member
  • Posts: 816
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #24 on: November 28, 2006, 05:36:45 AM »
Bear,

You did indeed give a great gift to your friend.  And honored him with your presence.  We need more like you in the world.

With respect,
John

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #25 on: November 28, 2006, 05:56:11 AM »
Bear,

I am so very sorry to hear of Jim's passing. May he rest in peace.

BIG HUGS,
Nadine

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #26 on: November 28, 2006, 06:31:07 AM »
Bear,

Sorry to learn of your loss. My condolences.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #27 on: November 29, 2006, 12:25:21 AM »
Sorry for your loss, Bear...Even though he is no longer among the living, he lives on in your heart.... Goddess Bless..
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #28 on: November 29, 2006, 12:39:42 AM »
my condolonces to you all, Bear. 
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline yowsaa

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #29 on: November 29, 2006, 01:25:04 AM »
Bear,
Very sorry for the passing of your friend.
Rest in peace Jim.

Offline gvolts5

  • Member
  • Posts: 38
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #30 on: November 29, 2006, 01:34:52 AM »
Sorry to read about the loss of Jim.  If you need a copy of the Mourner's Kaddish let me know.  Lookout for strange things happening; things falling off shelves, white doves or red cardinals flying around your window, peculiar coincidences, etc.   

John


Offline catwoman

  • Member
  • Posts: 111
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #31 on: November 29, 2006, 01:55:38 AM »
I have prayed for you and your family.  My thoughts are with you.

Offline bobik

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
    • My worksite
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #32 on: November 29, 2006, 06:07:51 AM »
Dear Bear,

when my best friend was dying, I told him it was allright to go. I know how hard it is to say that to someone you really love. It is powerful that you managed to do so. That is real love and friendship.

I wish you strength for the time coming.

Coen
Coen Honig at Facebook

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #33 on: November 29, 2006, 08:33:35 AM »
Again....thank you all for "being there".  I am still in shock but doing ok.  His poor Mom has a lot to do but we are helping her out the best we can.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Angel-Ronnie

  • Member
  • Posts: 434
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #34 on: November 29, 2006, 08:47:09 AM »
Joel,

I only admire your trueness to Jim and you and Kurt have shown what the true meaning of friendship is. You guys are like Angels. My heart and prayers are with you two and his family

Living amongst angels

It is music to my ears
When heard of good deeds
So many things happen in our lives
Even if it feels as if a part
Of your life has been torn away
But considering the events that surrounds us
We always have good people around us
That we are blessed with
In actual fact we are living
Amongst angels
We are surrounded by them and
Our lives and being
Are blessed by those who care
We should reach out to those who showed
Us love and in return reach out
To those in need of love
We could all be angels
We should show more care and compassion
To others even our love
We all are living amongst angels
Look deep within ourselves to find
The good that God intended for us all
When you have found your purpose
You will feel the presence amongst the angels
Bide the Wiccan law ye must,
In perfect love and perfect trust
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill
An' ye harm none, do what ye will.

What ye send forth comes back to thee,
so ever mind the Law of three,
follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.

Offline cmhjeff

  • Member
  • Posts: 870
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #35 on: November 29, 2006, 03:08:45 PM »
Bear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about Jim. I've read this thread several times and have started to reply over and over again but I can't seem to make any sense of my words. I can't compare PML to any other OI but I know how awful and scary PML can be. Jim is free of pain now and I guarantee to you that your friendship and  support helped him through it all.

Take care
Jeff

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Final Post on Jim
« Reply #36 on: November 30, 2006, 01:41:20 AM »
Bear-
So sorry to hear about Jim. My condolensces go out to u.

RobT


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

 


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