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Author Topic: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!  (Read 3829 times)

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Offline worriedinDFW

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Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« on: November 23, 2006, 03:41:34 PM »
You guys will think I'm crazy but, Please Help I'm in a panic, anxiety, depression, etc... I have researched the internet a bunch (including the posts on this forum) concerning oral sex and HIV, and I'm in still in denial as to my risk... Here's my situation...

A week ago, 11/15, in Vegas at a club, at the end of the night I was approached by a woman, who asked me if I wanted a blow job... To make a long story short, she ended up giving me oral sex to completion (I ejaculated in her mouth)... The whole episode took 3 minutes... within a half hour I'm back in my hotel room cleaning my penis thoroughly in the shower... I noticed NO cuts,scrapes, etc on my penis and NO blood that was visible... I guess what has me so freaked out is this "she" had a voice and looked as though she may be a "he"!  and she was telling me how she just had sex with a guy and swallowed his cum like an hour before my encounter... My questions are as follows:

1) Since she just swallowed another guys cum an hour before swallowing mine, could I be exposed to his? or am I stretching on this one?

2) If she had blood in her saliva, I've read enzymes and proteins in the saliva will kill the HIV? is this for real?

3) By ejaculating in her mouth during that encounter, does that increase my risk of HIV???

4) I understand  there is a theoretical risk, but nothing documented?  But I've read where there's reports? Isn't that documented? or am I splitting hairs on this one too?

5) Do I need HIV testing?  I already got tested 5 days after the event, which proved I was neg before the event... I plan on testing at 3,4,6,8,12 week period.. or am I too paranoid???

6) When can I resume sex with my girlfriend without worrying about giving her HIV???  I feel terrible and guilty just being with her!



No symptoms of STD's... been tested 6 days after event, results pending...

I've been told by several people I'm overreacting, including the HIV counselors where I got tested... My family doc says don't worry about HIV... another doc on a forum says I don't need HIV testing...  Am I  way overreacting here or do those special circumstances increase my risk???  The San Francisco Clinic STD chart doesn't list HIV as a "known" risk or "possible" risk for man receiving oral sex... I haven't had any symptoms of anything (other than anxiety)...

Please help! I need advice, reassurance? etc... I haven't been able to eat, or sleep for a week!  Thanks!!!! Happy Turkey day!

Offline Ann

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2006, 04:16:15 PM »
worried,

You did not have a risk. Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection, no matter what sort of spin you want to put on it. Specifically:

1. No, this does not make getting a blowjob a risk. There are over a dozen different enzymes and proteins present in saliva that damage hiv and make it impossible for it to infect.

2. Yes, it's true. There would have to be so much blood present that you would know the person was bleeding - such as they just had been punched in the mouth.

3. Ejaculation does not increase your risk.

4. It's theoretical at best - just like there is a theoretical risk of getting hit by a meteorite the next time you step outside your house. There are no documented cases of someone becoming infected through GETTING a blowjob. You may have been confused by anecdotal (not documented) cases of people becoming infected through GIVING a blowjob, but even this route of transmission is doubtful. You might also have been confused by the term "receptive". The receptive partner in any type of sex is the person who is receiving the penis, whether that is into their mouth, anus or vagina.

5. You do not need testing over this incident, no. However, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

6. Only if you have both tested together. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Unless you and your girlfriend have tested together, you cannot presume to know her hiv status. If you've ever had unprotected intercourse with anyone and you have never tested, you also cannot assume that you are hiv negative either.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

There is no way you would have become infected with hiv through getting a blowjob.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2006, 10:54:10 AM »
My previous reply didn't take so here's another...

Thanks Ann for the reply and reassurance... It's kinda weird, I'll call one conunty health department and they'll scare the s$@t out of me and say yes HIV is a risk and you need to be tested... but then I'll call a bordering county health department and they'll say I need to be concerned about STD's and not even mention HIV until I bring it up!  I'll do research on the net and it'll say HIV is a risk, but won't detail it's a theoretical risk or almost zero risk etcetera...   

My g/f has been tested and she's clean and I've been tested... I'm just concerned about acquiring HIV from getting this blowjob, but from what i have read and gathered and people I've talked to it's a long shot... and just to confirm, I don't really need to get tested for HIV from getting a blowjob?  I might maybe in 4 weeks or so just for peace of mind.. thanks for the reply!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2006, 11:48:14 AM »
Worried, Ann has given you the totally straight real deal. Uncounted blowjobs later, there's never been a documented case of HIV transmission from getting one. We feel safe in saying you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

Stop surfing the net, because believe you will find an endless supply of misinformation there to feed your worst fears and fatansies, all to no good purpose.

You do need to stay aware there are other STDs out there, some of which can be acquired by skin to skin contact. So if you are sexually active it's a good idea to have a full STD panel done at least annually.

As far as HIV is concerned, you have no cause for further concern in relation to this recent incident and no need for testing.

By the way, using the term "clean" to refer to your gf or to anyone else for that matter is considered bad manners. People have the virus or have STDs. That doesn't make tem "dirty," if you get the difference. So avoid using that term in the future.

And now, just get on with your life.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline j_friend

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2006, 12:26:37 PM »
Worried ... I can tell you what you are possibly at VERY high risk of from this situation and your thinking:  Convincing your body and your mind that you have HIV.  Read enough on the internet, call enough hotlines, study enough symptoms, and think about it 24-7 ... these are all VERY high risk activities to bypass logic and convince yourself the "HIV Monster" is gonna get you. Please don't drive down the Worried Well highway ... it leads to a very dark, lonely place which has nothing to do with HIV and everything to do with guilt, shame, and fear of punishment.  Trust me ... please.

Offline Selvin

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2006, 01:25:04 PM »
Hi worried. I am in a similar boat as you are. I tested at 25 days with a PCR and an ORAQUICK the same day.42 days, 56 days, 67 days and 84 days which is 12 weeks over Fellatio (where I received a B.J.) I am slowly letting this go because I was told by many KIND people that I had no risk including this site and where I tested at. P.A.T.F. and the place I lined up the PCR test 1-800-450-3980. They all said it was not a risk.

I am just curious if you got a 12 week all clear could you let this go? I am trying to understand my own problem.

If I stole this thread I apologize. I read it a couple of times before I posted it and I thought it was a legitmate question if not I do apologize.

Offline Ann

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2006, 03:39:43 PM »
Selvin,

Stay in your own thread. Thanks.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2006, 07:43:54 PM »
Thank you to everyone who took time to reply to my concerns... It's funny, all the information I've taken in from various sources (including here), tell me the risk of acquiring HIV is practically zero, yet my mind is trying to tell me otherwise!

So to summarize, there is NO risk of acquiring HIV from receiving a blow job... There is a theoretical risk if the receptor (the person doing the sucking), has a mouth of blood... Does that sound correct?

Sorry Andy about the use of the word "clean"... Didn't mean to offend anyone... I will refrain from using that word in the future... my apologies...

JFriend... You are right, my mind is trying to convince me HIV is a possibility despite the science based facts to the contrary...

Ann thanks again!

Offline Ann

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2006, 09:57:53 PM »
Worried,

You didn't have a risk of hiv infection when you got that blowjob.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2006, 08:07:38 AM »
Thanks for the reassurance Ann... I appreciate it...

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2006, 11:18:41 AM »
Hi,

Sorry to bother y'all again, but I'm still in denial about my risk from getting this BJ... On the CDC website and some others it says the insertive partner is at risk for getting HIV..  I was just wondering, those studies that were done that you site, about couples having unprotected oral sex, were one of the persons infected with HIV?  how many years was the study conducted, and has there been any recent changes or anything new in this area?  Also, has anyone heard of or known someone getting HIV from a BJ... I know there's no documented evidence from studies, but any reports from someone getting infected, saying "all that happened was I got a 1 minute bj"..  I'm still freakin out about this, and if you need to send me to "time out" that's cool, I understand...  am I like totally overreacting to this or no?  thanks!


Offline Ann

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2006, 11:28:37 AM »
Worried,

Yes, you are like, totally overreacting to this.

There were three studies of couples where one person was hiv positive and one was hiv negative. There were hundreds of couples enrolled in these studies. The longest one went on for ten years and the shortest was three years. That's a lot of years when you multiply it by the number of couples. Thousands of years, in fact. Not one person became infected from oral sex of any description.

Not one person has ever become infected from getting a blowjob and you will not be the first.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2006, 11:39:41 AM »
I understand... couple things, why does the CDC say it's a risk and i need testing? (which is basically what's scaring the crap out of me)...  and also, the BJ I received was fairly aggressive, she was deep throating, etc... whole episode lasted like a minute... and I ejaculated in her mouth... does that change things from a risk perspective???  thanks!

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2006, 12:30:11 PM »
worried,

The CDC is part of the current administration in the White House, you know, the one that prefers Abstinence Only education over proper sex education. Abstinence Only programs have been proven to not work. They WANT to scare the crap out of you with their right-leaning, religious/moralistic pontificating based on ideology rather than science. On the other hand, we want to give you the scientific facts based on current studies. You can choose who you prefer to believe.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2006, 12:56:08 PM »
OK cool... thanks Ann... and the agressive BJ (deep throating, etc...) doesn't increase the risk?  So I'm thinking I can rest easy now that I did NOT get infected from getting this BJ... Thanks again for your prompt responses!

Offline Ann

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2006, 01:22:31 PM »
worried,

A bj is a bj is a bj - deepthroat or otherwise. A blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection, no matter what sort of spin you can think of to put on it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2006, 01:30:07 PM »
Ok cool... Thanks Ann...  Just talked to the county HIV lady who does testing, she confirmed very very very low risk, and she's never heard of ANYone getting infected that way... thanks!  I'm thinking I just need to chill out on this!

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2006, 08:44:31 AM »
Hey y'all,

Quick question for everyone,  I went for an HIV test yesterday for peace of mind purposes, was 6 weeks post exposure, and of course the results were NEG...  After I got home and removed the band aid where they drew blood, I found I have a red spot/bruise where she inserted the needle to draw blood... She was having trouble on the one arm, filling the second vial, so she was kinda tweeking the needle a little, but didn't work, so she went to the second arm and that worked find... the mark/bruise, is about the size of a dime, looks reddish, and looks awful!  What is that? Is that bleeding under the skin? bruise? is that normal?  Did she miss a vein?  And of course the back of my brain is trying to worry me,  local HIV infection?  contaminated needles? etc... What do you guys think? Thanks!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2006, 09:40:15 AM »
I don't know why I'm even answering this post. You've never had blood taken before? You don't know what a blown site is? More than likely, you received the bruise because YOU didn't hold pressure on the site for two to three minutes. This has nothing to do with HIV, contaminated needles. etc.etc. Don't you dare come back with another question such as this.

Offline worriedinDFW

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Re: Another HIV/oral sex question... Please Help!
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2006, 11:02:08 AM »
Rapid,

1) yes I've taken blood before, but never seen a bruise like this
2) no I've never heard of a "blown site", perhaps that's why I asked the question
3) I wasn't told to hold pressure on it for 2 or 3 minutes

Thanks for the kind response... I promise I won't "Dare" come back with anything on here again...

Happy New Year

 


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