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Author Topic: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed  (Read 1129 times)

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Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« on: November 22, 2006, 11:11:10 AM »
Last night I went out for the first time with a guy who I met last summer and just recently became reacquainted.  He is 6yrs older than me and has been in working in the HIV field since 1983, publishing, doing research, social work and such.  We quickly began talking about his studies and work and he casually said that he was HIV-.  Then there was a long silence.  Having just been diagnosed this past spring, I have told a very limited number of people and no one I had gone out with.  After a couple of award silent minutes I simply said, "I'm not".  What followed was the most amazing first date I have ever had in my life!!  Six hours of talking, sharing, laughing and touching.  Frickin' amazing (especially since sex was not involved... ;))

Now I am sure some will think, "Well that was pretty much a safe disclosure to someone who has been in the field for 23 years".  However, for me it was another first of many to come.  I have read numerous threads on disclosure and one thing that is apparent is the fact one will know the right time to tell.  I didn't think it would come up in the first 30mins of a first date, but it did and I am so glad.  I know every time I disclose won't be as great, but I sure am happy the first went so well.  Just wanted to share.
Wishing all a peaceful holiday,
Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline DanKenny

  • Member
  • Posts: 147
Re: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2006, 11:21:48 AM »
Hi Woodshere,

Congrats on a successfull disclosure.  I encountered a similar one and disclosed right on the stop...the timing couldn't have been better !!

As a good friend puts it,  "I' ain't that hard..huh !" 

Take heart and enjoy your friendship.

Rgds, Danny
My Progress:

09/07:   771   ~    <50     ~   29%
03/07:   493   ~    227      ~   22%
02/07:   Began Meds ~~ ATRIPLA
01/07:   315   ~   45, 000  ~   18%
10/06:   350   ~   32, 430  ~   22%
04/06:   440   ~   23, 997  ~   24%
07/05:   621   ~   36,000   ~   24%
01/05:   842   ~   2306      ~   28%
07/04:   615   ~   3370      ~   27%
04/04:   674   ~   739        ~   26%
11/03:   439   ~   2800      ~   22%
Infected probably around 1997 / Diagnosed 2002

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2006, 05:52:45 PM »
Hey Woods,

Being straight forward with the guy was the BEST thing that you could have done. Congratulations!


Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2006, 07:20:32 PM »
Congratulations, Woodshere!  In reading the details, I picked up that he perhaps disclosed to you because he might, from experience, have assumed that someone would think that he was hiv positive since it has become his life and so wanted to put out there, for reasons known to him, that he was not.  Nice to see that someone whose field is hiv actually can believe what he knows, that you can touch someone who is hiv positive without wearing gloves and from a distance.  It was a first, it might not have gone as it did, but you got it out there.  And let's face it, the real test is what you both have in common other than hiv which, I hope, you will discover.  Have a great holiday! Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline chadnla

  • Member
  • Posts: 84
  • Relaxed in SoCal
Re: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2006, 08:07:53 PM »
Congrats.  Disclosure is disclosure no matter to whom when or why. Too me it's always tough.

Now you can press for date #2.  :P
"I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us no matter what we do. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing."

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2006, 02:18:07 AM »
Congrats on the date, Woods. I'm glad it wasn't an awkward moment. I hope to have one of those pleasant disclosures one day. So when is the next date?
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2006, 06:06:25 PM »
Thanks for the kind words everyone.  Date 2 has come and gone, 3 is about to happen, 4,5, & 6 have been planned.  His doing not mine.  And from disclosure we will go to positive/negative sex (no time soon, but if things continue as they are sex will come in time).  Then I will be looking for info on that topic.  Ahhhh, to be dating again!
Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: The best 1st date ever and I even disclosed
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2006, 06:12:03 PM »
ummm, this is all going too fast for me..... ;)
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

 


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