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Author Topic: In total shock!  (Read 3089 times)

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Offline jeffreyh

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In total shock!
« on: November 21, 2006, 04:16:20 PM »
Well, I went to visit my boyfriend of less than a month in his hometown and things went terribly wrong. On Friday night (11/17), I guess actually Saturday morning around 3am, he and I went to stay over at a friends house.  Well, I went to bed and fell asleep while he stayed up talking w/ her.  Next thing I remember was being woken up, him taking my underwear off and going to town with no condom and just spit for lube.  Even with all that alcohol, it hurt like hell.  Well, I finally was able to get into it somewhat because I did cum and unfortunately, so did he (inside me).  I fell back asleep afterwards even though it still hurt.  The next morning (few hours later), we got up to leave and I noticed a little bit of blood stains on the sheets but couldn't tell how old they were.  Maybe they were already there?  Anyways, I went to the restroom and didn't notice any blood, just lots of pain.  The pain continued for the next several days.  He seemed to think it was funny saying "lets go for round two".  When I got back to town, I went to the local E.R. at the urging of some friends and got put on P.E.P. (combivir and Viread) approximately 41 hours post exposure.  I called him and asked what his status was and he said he gets tested every 6 months and that he didn't want to get AIDS.  I have since found out, that he lives a pretty risky lifestyle-drugs, alcohol, homelessness.  Man, you think you know someone! 
Frankly, I'm fairly calm but do have concerns that this could be bad.  I've never been barebacked and certainly not penetrated in a manner really rough like that.
I've taken all the steps I can -getting on PEP.  What else can I do? 
Thanks for the advice.
Jeffrey H.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: In total shock!
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2006, 04:22:48 PM »
13 weeks past your last dose of medicine get a test. Get a new boyfriend.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: In total shock!
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2006, 04:48:24 PM »
Starting PEP was a good idea, Jeffrey. As Rod has told you, in order to get a reliable test result you have to get tested at 13 weeks past the completion of the 28 day cycle of PEP.

You also need to learn from this experience. Mixing excessive drinking and casual sex is a mighty dangerous combination. While it maybe reassuring to you to hear from the other guy that he tests negative regularly, it's very important for you to understand you are responsible for your own health. So his telling you that he's negative is really just hearsay.

As far as intercourse is concerned, a condom has to be used everytime by whomever is is the insertive partner. No exceptions.

Good luck with your test result.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline jeffreyh

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Re: In total shock!
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2006, 05:27:25 PM »
Yes, indeed, will get tested after finishing the 28 day course of meds.  So far, I've had minimal side effects-mostly just stomach upset.  I was wondering, why is it necessary to wait 13 weeks after finishing the meds?  Can taking the medications delay seroconversion?  The Gay Men's Health Crisis in NYC says 6 weeks is @ 96% reliable?  Just wondering.  Thanks again for the advice and support.  Trying not to beat myself up too much over this because what is done is done-nothing can change that now. 

Thanks again!
Jeffrey H.

Offline Ann

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Re: In total shock!
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2006, 06:28:16 PM »
Jeffrey,

A test at six weeks after the end of your PEP regimen would be an excellent indication of your true status, but you should have that three month post-PEP test for a conclusive result.

Yes, taking PEP can delay seroconversion, because the drugs suppress the virus. If the body has not already produced antibodies and there isn't enough virus (because of the meds) in your system to provoke an immune response, then the immune response won't resume until you stop taking PEP and the virus can begin once again to multiply unchecked.

Of course, other factors can weigh in here, such as if a person hasn't been taking their PEP on time, every time, or has missed doses.

If you get a negative result at six weeks post-PEP, I wouldn't expect anything different at three months.

(Good to hear you are tolerating the meds well, btw. Good luck.)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jeffreyh

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Re: In total shock!
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2006, 09:38:38 AM »
Thanks Anne!  btw....Do you know how effective the PEP meds are at preventing seroconversion?  I've heard anywhere from 70-80%.  I realize these numbers don't have much meaning but was just curious.
Jeffrey H.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: In total shock!
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2006, 10:39:46 AM »
Jeffrey,

I think those numbers are about right - and maybe higher like over 90%. As you say though, they don't really mean a whole lot when applied to individual circumstances. It's difficult to actually know true numbers when dealing with PEP. For a start, there's no way of knowing how many people taking PEP weren't infected (didn't have hiv in their system) to begin with.

And with taking PEP for sexual exposure, we have no way of knowing if a person is actually outside the optimal time for starting (72 hours). In other words, if a person has had a known exposure and knows about the optimal window for initiating PEP, but lies because they are over that time frame, then the treatment fails and they are hiv positive... see what I mean? Taking PEP for sexual exposure is always going to be a slightly grey area as far as the collection of stats go.

Hang in there, I've got a feeling you're going to be just fine.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: In total shock!
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2006, 11:25:16 AM »
Jeffrey,

I've been thinking and wanted to give you an example of why the stats don't really mean much.

Say you have ten people, all with exposures to, and possible infections from, people known to be hiv positive. We know that not every exposure to hiv results in the virus actually getting inside the cells of the body. Not every exposure to hiv results in infection.

Because of the possibility of infection, all ten people have begun PEP within twelve hours of the exposure. However (and this is the part we can never actually know at the time when PEP must be initiated), in eight of these people, the virus never actually gained entrance into the cells of the negative person's body. They were never infected.

The virus DID gain access into the cells of the remaining two people's bodies. They were actually infected. They both complete the PEP regimen and one tests positive at six weeks, but the other one tests negative because the meds successfully eradicated the virus from the body.

Overall, of the ten people who took and completed a PEP regimen, nine test negative and only one tests positive. This looks like PEP was successful for nine out of ten people. However, because of the secret knowledge we have for the purpose of this example, we know that the success rate for this group was only one in two.

The bottom line here is that we can never really know. You can change the details of my example around but the basic premise will remain. Some will not have ever been infected and some will have been infected. For some of the infected, PEP will be successful and for some, it will not.

We do know however, that your chances are far greater of testing negative after PEP than otherwise.

Remember, even if you were actually exposed, it doesn't automatically mean you were infected. Add PEP onto that and your chances are very good indeed. Hang in there!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jeffreyh

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  • Posts: 16
Re: In total shock!
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2006, 02:20:40 PM »
Thanks so much for the compassionate reassurance Anne!  It really helps alot.  Lately, I've been focusing on when I can stop these meds because I've been having more problems with gas (bloating) and nasuea.  It might be the meds or maybe I'm catching a bit of a bug since it is the season.  Also, the stress surely doesn't help.  also, I've been having all these muscle aches/soreness in my shoulders.  Now, I know your not a doctor and I will go see my doctor if these problems continue.  I've also entertained the crazy thought that what if I stop the PEP meds after the 28 day course but my body actually needed 45 days of the meds to fully eridicate the "possible" virus.  You can see how this thought pattern could drive one insane!  also, my baseline tests for HIV, Syphilis, etc drawn on 11/18 all came back negative.  I haven't really engaged in any "risky" behavior in the previous 6 weeks before 11/18, so if God forbid, I come up positive aometime in February, it would most definitely be from the boyfriend in Corpus, right? (not that it would actually matter, I guess).

Well, thanks again for listening and your advice.  Take Care!

-Jeffrey
Jeffrey H.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: In total shock!
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2006, 03:57:47 PM »
Jeffrey,

With that baseline negative result and no risks in the previous six weeks, yes, it would be the situation you are specifically testing over. But that's totally putting the horse before the cart. Don't!

As for how long you take PEP, I'm sure if there was any suspicion that 28 days wasn't enough, the regimen would last longer. Please keep in mind that you may never have been infected in the first place. Not only does exposure not automatically equal infection, but you may not have been exposed to hiv at all. Just because a guy is homeless doesn't mean he's hiv positive.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jeffreyh

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: In total shock!
« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2006, 05:17:08 PM »
Good point!  It's just that I now know he has a problem with cocaine use, alcohol use and he's known as a "powerbottom" in his community!!  Isn't that a wonderful thing to know, of course it would have been alot better to know these things BEFORE I started dating the guy!  In addition, I brought up the subject of him never asking me my status and he fumbled stating that I was "different" and he didn't think I would have been so cruel as to have sex with him knowing I was infected.  He also stated that he was aware of all the guys in his area who had AIDS or someone who's had sex with someone who has AIDS and he "avoids" having sex with those people!  Obviously, some limited knowledge about how HIV works on his part.  Anyways, can you believe despite all this, I still have feelings for this guy!?

Right now, I'm in that "hoping for the best" stage.  I guess I can test somewhere around February 5th for the 6 week after mark.  Thanks again for the encouragement.
-Jeffrey
Jeffrey H.

 


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