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Author Topic: aids and sex  (Read 3185 times)

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Offline Pozjoenrancho

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
aids and sex
« on: November 20, 2006, 11:48:17 AM »

My CD-4 is 552 with a load that is undetectable at 28%.  I am a bottom and I clean out before having sex.  I do not have any sores in my mouth or colon and I have not had any bleeding during intercourse for many years.  My lover is NEG.

I am aware that if I don't have any oriel problems and my mouth is not bleeding I can not expose my lover to the virus by giving him head with out a condome.  This is where it gets ugly.  My lover wants to top me unprotected.  He feels that all of the things in the first paragraph combine to make it imposable for me to expose him during intercourse.  Is this true?  If not than I need ammo.  What is the odds that I'll expose him? (in % please)  Is there any point where the risk is acceptable or minimal enough to allow it?

Please help.  I need info, advice, a baseball bat anything.    ???
[/i]

[attachment deleted by admin]
Exposed 11/23/1989 at approximately 6:00 PM
Positive anonymous test 2/2/1990
Treatment started 1/7/1991 with AZT
stopped treatment, still responding and tolerating AZT 3/4/2001 when lover of 13 years died
First cocktail 12/1/2004 Truvada, Reyataz and Norvir CD-4 = 138, VL = TNTC
restarted life 12/25/2005 CD-4 = 552, VL = undetectable

Offline c69

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: aids and sex
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2006, 04:20:36 PM »
Sorry to be so blunt but your friend is looking for trouble.
Percentage doesn't mean ****.
What if I told you that the odds are 2 to 100?
Does this give your friend the guarantee that he can safely do it 98 times? No!
He can catch it the very first time.
Tell your friend this disease is no picknick.

I had unprotected sex two times but I still caught it (what are the odds?).
Yes, my own stupid fault, but I learned my lesson right there and then: percentage doesn't mean anything.

Enjoy sex with protection and your friend will have the luxury of not having to deal with meds, side effects, visits to the hospital to draw blood and the costs of medical care (and meds). In The Netherlands all this is free but from the posts I read here regularly this can often become a problem in the US.

I mean this in the most positive way: your health is a precious thing, respect it and preserve it.

C69

(who read today that HIV is on the rise in The Netherlands, due to unsafe sex practising, so had to react)
 
p.s. to satisfy your need for percentages: the chance to get infected by vaginal transmission is 0,1% per single contact/ anal contact 2,0%. I am a heterosexual man so you do the math. (source: Dutch medical professional site)

« Last Edit: November 20, 2006, 04:34:47 PM by c69 »
Meds since May 2006, Abacavir, Tenofovir, Reyataz & Norvir.

Offline newt

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,887
  • the one and original newt
Re: aids and sex
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2006, 05:06:34 PM »
Hello

On the nos / %s  the Centre for Disease Control says the risk of transmission for insertive anal sex is 0.065% and for receptive it's 0.5%.  This is an average %. Circumcision will reduce the chance of transmission further for insertive anal sex, 60-70%.  High / low viral load will make the risk higher / lower, so having an undetectable viral load will reduce the risk further. Things that will increase the risk of transmission are trauma (including "cleaning out"), "pre-penetration digital insertion" (er, fingering = trauma again), how susceptible a person is to infection and whether the person has another STI.

So % wise, bloody low, but it's not 0.

All this number stuff is so much dancing on the head of pin.  The bottom line is, if you ain't happy with dropping the rubbers, he shouldn't be pressing the point (so to speak).

If you both wanna screw without condoms, that's damn fine in my book, cos its your relationship and for you to decide, in full knowledge of the risk etc, but if only one of you does, I think that's a no-no.

Pressure, can do without it from (even the sweetest, most dearly held, shit hot horny) neg guys.

- matt
« Last Edit: November 20, 2006, 05:13:43 PM by newt »
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,280
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: aids and sex
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2006, 09:11:32 PM »
Hello,

Your partner should always be wearing a condom for penetrative anal, or possibly face the consequences.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 12/10/14,  t-cells are at 350,  Previous 8/25/14--- 402/ Viral load remains <40

 Current % is at 13% / Previous 8/25/14 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline Pozjoenrancho

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: aids and sex
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2006, 01:41:32 AM »
Sorry to be so blunt but your friend is looking for trouble.
Percentage doesn't mean ****.
What if I told you that the odds are 2 to 100?
Does this give your friend the guarantee that he can safely do it 98 times? No!
He can catch it the very first time.
Tell your friend this disease is no picknick.

I had unprotected sex two times but I still caught it (what are the odds?).
Yes, my own stupid fault, but I learned my lesson right there and then: percentage doesn't mean anything.

Enjoy sex with protection and your friend will have the luxury of not having to deal with meds, side effects, visits to the hospital to draw blood and the costs of medical care (and meds). In The Netherlands all this is free but from the posts I read here regularly this can often become a problem in the US.

I mean this in the most positive way: your health is a precious thing, respect it and preserve it.

C69

(who read today that HIV is on the rise in The Netherlands, due to unsafe sex practising, so had to react)
 
p.s. to satisfy your need for percentages: the chance to get infected by vaginal transmission is 0,1% per single contact/ anal contact 2,0%. I am a heterosexual man so you do the math. (source: Dutch medical professional site)


I respect honesty and applaud your candor.  The numbers game is for me because I have not decided if I'm willing to take the risk.  He seems to have made up his mind but I am in control of my own body and it's bugs. I also heard the report about the rise in the netherlands. I am glad that your country has national health care.  The brain dead majority voted it down here. so if a person earns over $32,000.00 US a year ether they or there insurance must pay the bills and  yes the meds are very expensive.  For example, I'm on Norvir, Reyataz, Truvada, Wellbutrin, paxil and Marinol all once a day and the cost is just under $3,000 a month.  Because I'm disabled on disability of 1,078 a month and have no Insurance the Federal government does help by purchase of the meds. unfortunately when I change from Media cal (state medical) to medicare (federal medical) I will be required to pay $415.00 Us of my medical care each month. I still wont have to pay for the drugs but I pay all doc, labs, etc. each month till the $415 is met. That will leave me just over 600$ to pay rent, electric, cooking fuel, phone, food ,etc.  :( I don't know how I will survive. Back to the topic, I'm aware that odds never change. If the odds are 2% chance of catching it it will still be a 2% chance of catching it during round two. again thanks for your thoughts and knowledge. Joe
Exposed 11/23/1989 at approximately 6:00 PM
Positive anonymous test 2/2/1990
Treatment started 1/7/1991 with AZT
stopped treatment, still responding and tolerating AZT 3/4/2001 when lover of 13 years died
First cocktail 12/1/2004 Truvada, Reyataz and Norvir CD-4 = 138, VL = TNTC
restarted life 12/25/2005 CD-4 = 552, VL = undetectable

Offline Pozjoenrancho

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: aids and sex
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2006, 02:43:35 AM »
Hello

On the nos / %s  the Centre for Disease Control says the risk of transmission for insertive anal sex is 0.065% and for receptive it's 0.5%.  This is an average %. Circumcision will reduce the chance of transmission further for insertive anal sex, 60-70%.  High / low viral load will make the risk higher / lower, so having an undetectable viral load will reduce the risk further. Things that will increase the risk of transmission are trauma (including "cleaning out"), "pre-penetration digital insertion" (er, fingering = trauma again), how susceptible a person is to infection and whether the person has another STI.

So % wise, bloody low, but it's not 0.

All this number stuff is so much dancing on the head of pin.  The bottom line is, if you ain't happy with dropping the rubbers, he shouldn't be pressing the point (so to speak).

If you both wanna screw without condoms, that's damn fine in my book, cos its your relationship and for you to decide, in full knowledge of the risk etc, but if only one of you does, I think that's a no-no.

Pressure, can do without it from (even the sweetest, most dearly held, shit hot horny) neg guys.

- matt

Another honest and candid man. who knew there were so many. As I said in the previous reply the numbers game is for me. I have not made up my mind if I'm going to let him bear back me or not. We are a leather couple and he is a true leather man. I don't know how much you know about the leather comunity.  The top is allowed to pretend that he has all the say in what is going on but he knows that the boy is the real person in charge, no means no and the top does not violate that. I say no i am not going to do that, coded, we don't do it. If I say stop your hurting me,coded, it stops and what has already been done is immediately undone.  The reason for the code word is that no, don't and stop are part of the game but if you use the code word it is saying "hay this is real and not part of the play" So you see the proverbial ball is in my court as usual. With the help of all of you I will eventually make a decision and that will be carried out. Yes, this is a hard decision for me because he is not the only one that will have to live with the consequences of what we do. if I do let him bear back me and he contracts it, I have to live with the knowledge that I was the one that condemned him to this hell on earth.  On the other hand, if he is determaned to bear back me and I refuse because I don't want to risk contaminating him he will just arrange a conversion party to remove the reason that I say no. You don't have to ask how I know that he would do that if he's that determined, I'll tell you. That's how I converted. I was strictly top and wanted to bear back my POZ lover, now deceased. He said no a week later I asked him to meet me at a bar at 8 PM the rest of us arrived at 6 and start the party. I had the guy tie mt to the pool table and that was the first time I bottomed. He arrived about 7:30 and I had so much cum in me that i was dripping it out. The guys untied me and stepped back. I looked at him and simply said " welcome to my conversion. Now can I make love to you?" We talked and the others played amongst themselves. After a bit i undressed him and that was the first time that We left the role play and I made long passionate love to him. At the start I was the only NEG there. My question to you is do I say no and take the chance that he'll go get converted so I'll say yes.  Oh, I wont be in a relationship that is not open so him going to someone else is not the problem, the conversion is. Thanks again for your reply.Joe
Exposed 11/23/1989 at approximately 6:00 PM
Positive anonymous test 2/2/1990
Treatment started 1/7/1991 with AZT
stopped treatment, still responding and tolerating AZT 3/4/2001 when lover of 13 years died
First cocktail 12/1/2004 Truvada, Reyataz and Norvir CD-4 = 138, VL = TNTC
restarted life 12/25/2005 CD-4 = 552, VL = undetectable

Offline Pozjoenrancho

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: aids and sex
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2006, 03:18:50 AM »
Hello,

Your partner should always be wearing a condom for penetrative anal, or possibly face the consequences.


Ray
[i]There are not only consequences for him but for me also. Yes, he'll have to deal with this hell but I'll have to deal with the knowledge that I put him in this hell, if I let him bear back me. You see we both believe that the most respect you can give another man is to leave a bit of your self with him. This is why nether of us cum in another man, oral or rectal. Nor, do we take a load from another man. There are a few exceptions but in those cases we both are very close to the person and both are present for the exchange with both of us participating at least verbally. Do you now what I mean? I don't know if you read my other replies but he is willing to accept the his consequences. I'm the one that does not know if I want to accept my consequences. To top off the whole thing, I don't know how determaned he is to bear back me. Thanks for your input.[/i]Joe
Exposed 11/23/1989 at approximately 6:00 PM
Positive anonymous test 2/2/1990
Treatment started 1/7/1991 with AZT
stopped treatment, still responding and tolerating AZT 3/4/2001 when lover of 13 years died
First cocktail 12/1/2004 Truvada, Reyataz and Norvir CD-4 = 138, VL = TNTC
restarted life 12/25/2005 CD-4 = 552, VL = undetectable

 


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