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I thought of a question reading another post, but I didn't want to hijack the original poster's spotlight. Viola! I created another thread. No hijacking. It's fabulous! (somebody put something in this tea, I swear)  ;D

After the nurse gave me the schpiel about me testing positive and such, the woman who originally pricked my finger started talking, and the conversation went like this:

Valorie (not her real name): "I know a lot of people are scared that HIV will kill their sex life. You don't have to worry about that. People with HIV still have very active sex lives. You just have to be extra careful; you don't want to pass the virus on or get 'co-infected.' "

Me: "That's not really what I'm afraid of."

Val: "What are you afraid of?"

Me: "My fear is who is going to want to love me now that I'm essentially a loaded gun? I don't want to live my life alone."

Valorie tried not to show it, but she got a lump in her throat, and her eyes watered when I said that. It still is a deep down fear that I have. She jokingly asked, "Are you SURE you're just 22? I have never EVER heard a 22 year old list that as their top priority when finding out they have HIV."

I do sometimes wonder if this bed is going to just have me in it for the rest of my life. I know that that is partly an irrational fear, but it's there nonetheless.

What are your stories? Has it been difficult or easy?

I apologize if this seems like a bogus/ridiculous question, but it's been bothering me since I found out and Rob decided to pursue someone else who was HIV-.


--- Quote from: MoltenStorm on June 08, 2006, 01:08:22 PM ---My fear is who is going to want to love me now that I'm essentially a loaded gun?

--- End quote ---

pretty soon the "loaded gun" mindset will be replaced with a more realistic sunnier one. it's just a matter of time (hopefully soon!). really

and no your question isnt bogus but that "loaded gun" thing - that's bogus IMHO

Molten, no need to apologize don't ever feel you are asking a ridiculous question because probably most of us have experienced the same feelings at some point in our life.  As for me I've been with my current partner/husband for nine years, 10 years in December.  He is also positive.  Prior to meeting him I've had many relationships/tricks mostly who were negative and seemed okay with my status at the time because I generally told them early on.

Sure someday that someone special will again enter your life.  From your picture you are a cute boy and I'm sure you still turn plenty of heads :) just remember HIV is only a small part of what makes you - YOU


I tested positive while being in a relation which ended last april. Its June and I am on a new relation with a negative guy. I told him before even having our first sexual relation. His old boyfriend was also HIV+ so I didnīt have to explain him anything. Our sex life is very good.  ::)  I was very lucky. His ex-boyfried did all the tough work for me...

Been pox for 2.75 years.  It did not affect my sex life at first, though I was in complete shock- drank like a fish and informed the guys of my status before we even left the bar.  Alcohol is empowering because it numbs you.  After the shock was over I stopped going out. I have not had sex for 2.5 years. Been on a few dates, nothing worth writing about. I have lost all interest in men, dating, all of that.  My friends who do not know my status can't figure it out. They just think I'm a workaholic. My doc thinks I should get back out there.  We'll see.

Sorry I do not have a more encouraging story.


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