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Author Topic: Dating when HIV +ve  (Read 1851 times)

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Offline afribabe

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Dating when HIV +ve
« on: November 24, 2006, 08:18:54 PM »
Hello everyone,

This is my 1st post. I love this website by the way, have just been lurking here for a while. I just wanted to find out about dating and all.

I have decided to only date hiv poz people because of the rejection I have encountered since I started dating again. I am a female and have been diagnosed for 1 year. Please provide me with suggestions of which websites I can go to in order to meet men in the same boat as me who also want to date (heterosexual). I would like to meet men between the ages of 27 and 36, I am 26 years old, not on meds and just trying to live positively and enjoy life! I'm African but live and work in the USA (Washington DC). I have a good job, lots of friends, but need someone in the same boat as me to hang out, date. My friends and co-workers think I'm the happiest person they know, I travel, go out, shop a lot, but at the end of the day, closed up in my apartment I actually feel lonely. I have dated 2 negative men in a row, I disclosed from the get go and initially they both didnt have problems with it, but as time went on, things were just strained. I still get asked out on dates by negative men but I've now reached a point were i cant do the disclosure thing anymore ( too painful) and a few months later I'm back to where I started from (like dejavu).

This has just turned out to be a long post, just wanted ideas on where to find +ve respectable good men...I guess I got carried away. Anyway, I'll just put my email address for those that might want to share experiences privately through email. Its afribabe123@yahoo.com

I have come to terms with my condition and am managing pretty well, i guess i just need to share certain things with people who really understand.

Take care everyone!

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Dating when HIV +ve
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2006, 08:30:13 PM »
Hey Afribabe,

It is unfortunate that you have tested positive for HIV. It is good that you have come to terms with your condition and you are managing it pretty well.

As far as dating is concerned, there are a number of HIV + dating sites out there on the web. You may want to search through a few of them and see which on will suit you the best. I wish you the best in your search to have someone to confide in.

I wish to extend to you a WARM WELCOME here at the AM forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.


We have a great group of Real People who will listen as well as answer you. We are here to encourage one another and to learn from each other.

Implementing a Positive Mental Attitude will also assist you on your journey in this life as well as having a Positive Impact on your immune system.

In fact, through your Positive Mental Attitude, it will help you push forward through all of the obstacles on your path that you are now walking on.

Talking to other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time as it is highly Therapeutic.

In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, Omega 3 and eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy and avoid processed foods, saturated and trans fats. This will also help you maintain a healthy weight.

Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes.

Make the BEST of each and every Day!

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Dating when HIV +ve
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2006, 01:26:51 AM »
Afribabe,

I can definitely relate to the rejection from disclosure. I have been poz for 9 years now and am mot on meds either. I can also relate to the lonliness, it really sucks. I have not put ads on many sites but suggest you use caution when doing so. What I have come across is that there are a lot of people posting for booty calls instead of relationships. We just started a thread about this a few days or so in the Off Topic threads I believe. But I will not down it much more because I have met a nice neg guy. So, there can be exceptions....

Before I forget, Welcome to the Forums. I hope to hear more from you.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: Dating when HIV +ve
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2006, 06:00:44 AM »
Welcome to the forums.  You might try the personals end of poz.com about which I can't speak much since I use them as a gay man.  The Queen pointed out the discussion we have been having, largely myself and another member from here, in the Off Topic area which could give you a taste, if you will.  From my experience, use every and any site you can as long as you aren't stuck paying large fees for doing so.  Keep an eye for activity or lack thereof which will tell you if the site is worth your time... or if you are coming across 'right' for the site.  Congratulations, Queen.  I must have missed the announcement! Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline afribabe

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Dating when HIV +ve
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2006, 07:21:52 AM »
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. I'll definitely read the other thread in the off topics about dating sites. Its really hard that life is what it is right now, but I guess all of us will overcome all these issues we face.

Offline rayvjr

  • Member
  • Posts: 45
    • Just Tested Positive.Com
Re: Dating when HIV +ve
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2006, 01:26:44 AM »
You are a special lady..stay strong...focused...and love will come again...I KNOW IT!

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Dating when HIV +ve
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2006, 04:45:07 AM »
Afribabe,

The other thread will prove more informative, as their are quite a few views there. It can be a lonely road, no doubt. I believe that there are other things in my life that may need more focus, but that is just me. Since I seem to be full of cliches, I will use this one....'You will find love when you least expect it.'....


Poet,

Congratulations I don't think are in order. I'm at that getting to know you stage. We do email everyday and have gotten to know each other better. I guess I will have to PM you the details because I do not want to hijack this thread......
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

 


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