HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

OrdinaryMassage Turned into uber-sensual...worried about HIV transmission..


Hi all--

I hope I'm not troubling you too much. I've only ever been in one monogamous relationship. I went to get a massage from a woman who I just thought was a normal masseuse. Anyway, she began the massage normally and flipped me and her hand began massaging a bit close to my private area. She was attractive and so I got a bit aroused and embarrassed but then she took her clothes off, climbed on top of me and began to touch it with her hands. I should have stopped her but I didn't. She started rubbing it fairly roughly and it was getting kind of unpleasant. I'm uncircumcised so the skin and glans is a bit more sensitive even though she used massage lotion. I was fidgeting and was getting ready to tell her to stop...

Then out of no where she started to rub her vagina on my penis. I sat there like a deer in headlights. It didn't feel good, and in fact was fairly painful, because my penis felt raw from before since she was so rough with it. She maybe rubbed her vagina on my penis 3-4 times and it seemed to start to poke in one of the times. I pushed her gently off of me because I was panicking, but she still rubbed my penis with her hands a few times more and began to rub her vagina on my penis again when I told her to "stop! please!"

I went to her shower fairly soon after and tried to wash it off as best I could. She didn't have any soap and it took me a bit to find some shampoo to use. I'm having a heart-attack now. I tried to ask as politely as possible what her HIV status was, but she was offended that I ask it. I can only imagine how many other clients she has had to whom she has done this too.

I feel so sick with worry. What can I do? It was > 24 hours ago though still not 48 hours. I've been up since then reading. I hear that I can reduce my risk of HIV with chemoprophylaxis. Is this advisable? I read elsewhere that what she did is termed "frotting" and that the risk from "frotting" is generally low. But I'm uncircumcised and my penis was fairly rough and raw when she began to frot it. It also seemed to dip in for a second meaning my urethra was in direct contact with her vaginal fluid, and apparently the urethra is where HIV enters the body. There was no obvious sign of blood but my penis was fairly red and sensitive from her rough handling so there may have been numerous micro-abrasions in contact with vaginal fluid from an unknown HIV status person.

I'm sorry to bother all of you with my questions. I'm just worried sick. I've never engaged in high-risk behavior before, and I didn't mean to engage in it this time either. When is the earliest I can get tested? Do anonymous testing facilities provide these newer "4th" generation tests I've read a bit about. Again sorry and thanks for the advice!

There was no risk in contracting HIV. What you done was frontage. You don't need testing or PEP.


The correct term is frottage, from the French verb "to rub" (frotter). Frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult virus to transmit. It is successfully transmitted INSIDE the human body as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, not outside as in frottage. The outer surface of the virus, including the "plugs" that hiv uses to infect a cell, quickly becomes damaged when outside the body through changes in moisture content, pH levels and temperature. Despite the rough nature of the handjob you received before the frottage occurred, you were not at risk of hiv infection.

However, you may have been at risk for the easier to transmit sexually transmitted infections such as herpes, gonorrhea and syphilis, to name a few. 

While you do not need to test for hiv because of this incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You had no risk of hiv infection during any part of your massage. You do not need to test over this and you certainly do not need PEP.


Thanks to you both for replying! I'm sorry for probably wasting your time. STDs have generally not been in the forefront of my mind because, well, I've probably had fewer dates than Erkel. Which was part of why I didn't stop her when she suddenly decided she didn't need clothes. I'm still a bit nervous, even if not for HIV, for all the other terrible things that grow on pee-pees.

Just one more follow-up question...does the use of lubricant or lotions help prolong the survival of HIV outside the body? Or does this pretty much still fall under your sentence "Frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection (even if lubricants are used)"?


If you will recall, I mentioned previously that hiv is very sensitive to changes in moisture content, pH levels and temperature. Any change that is different from the relatively stable environment inside the body. Massage lotion would be damaging to the fragile outer covering of hiv. Once that covering is damaged, it can no longer infect a new cell.

You did not have a risk for hiv. Other STIs, maybe, but not hiv.



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