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soulfly:
Hey everyone...
     
 I just tested poz 4 weeks ago..And allmost felt it was the end of the world..I cant even describe how numb i felt and lost..After crying for a day or two i made an appointment to see my doctor and find out what i had to do and get it confirmed. I felt like part of me was rotten and i would be alone forever now..i went and got my count a week later ( T-480...viral-15,900)..i was happy to see my cells where good but my load is high.I guess the first test is kind of a toss up?  the good part is i don't have to start on meds right away but i have to wait 6 months to really know. i don't know if there can be a drastic change between then and now and I'm alittle worried.I don't have any support but myself and its very lonely when you don't have anyone to hold you and tell you its going to be ok...It feels good writing this post and I'm glad and not glad to be here.

RapidRod:
Your numbers aren't bad at all. Just wait out two more blood draws to see where you stand. You'll have a better understanding of your numbers at that time.

Eldon:
Hey Soulfly,

It is unfortunate that you have tested positive with HIV. However, it is good that you DO know now so that you can take action with your health. Being positive tends to create some inner anxieties that our mind tends to get carried away with unless you comfort it and reassure it. Rod is correct when it comes to getting additional tests to see where you stand.

I wish to extend to you a warm WELCOME here at the forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.

We have a great group of Real people who will listen as well as answer you. We are here to encourage one another and to learn from each other.

Talking to other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time as it is highly therapeutic.

In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, Omega 3 and eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy and avoid processed foods, saturated and trans fats. This will also help you maintain a healthy weight.

Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes.

Make the BEST of each Day!

Andy Velez:
Soul, this is still very, very new to you. The feelings you've been having are very familiar and shared by many before you, for whatever comfort that might be to you.

You're not going to suddenly fall through a black hole. Your doctor is going to be monitoring your numbers, which is exactly the right thing. Developing a good working partnership with your doctor is one of the most important things you can do to insure staying healthy.

Gradually you're going to learn everything you need to know and before long you may surprise yourself as you begin to lend support to others. Right now you need to give yourself time to get adjusted to having HIV in your personal life. What seems enormous and even overwhelming now is gradually going to subside into a more manageable aspect of your life. Really.

Read the lessons on this site if you haven't already done so -- particularly the ones about recently testing positive, starting meds and disclosure issues. I think you'll find some useful information there.

You're always welcome here to ask questions or to discuss anything that's on your mind.

Cheers,

BigPlans:
Hey Soulfly,
It was good to read your post.  I just tested positive about 6 weeks ago and have been freaking out as well.  Just reading that I wasn't the only person feeling shock and numbness was a comfort.  I'm still struggling with coming to grips with all this - it seems like I can't stop thinking about it - but am hoping from all the good things I keep hearing that I'll be able to get some mental rest soon.  I just found this site the other day, so I don't quite know how things work.  If you'd like to contact someone else who is the same new position that  you find yourself in, please do. 
All the Best!
BigPlans

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