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Author Topic: a step out of the closet  (Read 1927 times)

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Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
a step out of the closet
« on: November 10, 2006, 03:40:53 PM »
I was diagnosed this Past Feb and have been struggling with disclosure.  When, to who, where.....  Today I read 2 posts from Moffie that really hit home.  And decided it was time to take a little baby step and put my pic with my profile.  While not the best photo, my "Glamour Shots " are ready yet, it is a step I want to take.  Fairly safe on here, but remember Rome wasn't built in a day.  Thanks Moffie!
Cheers,
Woods
« Last Edit: November 10, 2006, 03:44:29 PM by woodshere »
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 508
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2006, 03:44:01 PM »
Pan down ;) Yeah. I know I'm evil. Welcome aboard!

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2006, 03:55:13 PM »
Welcome. Sorry you tested poz in February. We're definitely here for you as your diverse, informative on-line forum family. In some cases disclosure can create stress and open up cans of worms. On the other hand, sometimes disclosure improves things tremendously, sometimes things stay the same. It's a deeply personal choice, and can be sort of tricky. I wish you the best. Be strong

http://www.poz.com/articles/175_778.shtml

A developing field called psychoneuroimmunology, linking the "hard" sciences of neurology and immunology with the "soft" sciences of psychology and sociology, is devoted to just that question. A major breakthrough came in August 2000 with the release of a nine-year study that tracked 82 HIV positive gay men who were, at the outset, asymptomatic and had more than 200 CD4 cells. Jane Leserman, PhD, a research associate professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, found that the men with the highest levels of stress, anger and denial -- and the least social support -- progressed to AIDS the fastest. The study's most exciting finding came from its measurement of a stress-related hormone called cortisol. Leserman's team found that men with higher cortisol levels were more likely to progress to AIDS.



Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2006, 04:07:32 PM »
Woody,  (Please let me call you that, it is so cool a nick)

I have to tell you, that from my own personal experience, it has been an interesting 23 years, as most of that time has been spent out of the HIV closet.  When you claim power over the bug, it allows you to get on with life and deal with things in a much clearer manner, and keeps the nastiness of always hiding out of your life.  Some of us are also Gay, and coming out of the Gay closet is much the same as the HIV closet, as most of the "concepts" that surround both, are merely myths, and not based on real facts.

I also understand that few now days are capable of totally coming out, as the work thingy always comes up.  When you place your life and all it's details into the picture of hiding for the REST of your natural life; well then, few are really capable of really living full and productive lives, simply because they are overcome with the hiding and the creation of so very many lies, simply to cover up a viral protein that is truly part of our bodies now.  (breathe)

Gotta hand it to you Woody, you are a very brave soul, and at the same time, one who will overcome and be far more powerful and less impacted by stress than many with this infection.  Stress after all is like a banquet to the virus.

In Love,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2006, 04:08:04 PM »
I was diagnosed this Past Feb and have been struggling with disclosure.  When, to who, where.....  Today I read 2 posts from Moffie that really hit home.  And decided it was time to take a little baby step and put my pic with my profile.  While not the best photo, my "Glamour Shots " are ready yet, it is a step I want to take.  Fairly safe on here, but remember Rome wasn't built in a day.  Thanks Moffie!
Cheers,
Woods


Congratulations Woods! I have issues with disclosure as well and when I came here it was the second time I posted a pic. Indeed it does take baby steps but just take it one day at a time. I am still not ready to come out yet with the few that may not know, I say this because my sisters made it their mission to spread the news. Major reason why I don't disclose is because of what they did to me. I wish you luck...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2006, 04:25:40 PM »
Hey Woods,

I wish you the BEST on your "journey" that you are on. Also, again, there are alot of folks who have been down that very same road that you are on.



Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,761
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2006, 05:14:12 PM »
Well done, Woody. ....and as far as disclosure choices are concerned, go at the pace that feels right to you.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2006, 06:41:55 PM »
Congratulations on the step!  Like anything else, pacing is the key and, given that I chose, when living in tiny Provincetown, gay central town on the Cape, to pull back from disclosure there after being quite open and out in NYC, I hope that you will always feel that pulling back in for however long when and if a situation arises that prompts it, is not, for me, an action in reverse so much as an adjustment to a change.  Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2006, 06:51:04 PM »
Welcome sir, those first steps are the largest ones you'll have had to take.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2006, 07:11:19 PM »
Hi Woody

Welcome to the family.

One of the hardest things to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn...you have already crossed one by putting up your picture...so that's one less bridge to cross already, there will be others but just make sure you are ready to take those steps before you do..as everyone has said, just take it at your own pace.

It took me a year before I plucked up enough courage to post a photo.

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2006, 07:27:12 PM »
Hi Woody,
Welcome to the family. Congrats on your first steps. I'm glad to see you are moving forward at your own pace! Have a great weekend!
Jeff
Positive since 1985

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2006, 07:29:16 PM »
Congratulations on this step!  I found this was a very friendly place where I could be very open and even post my pic.  I still have problems with disclosure beyond these boards.  I did disclose to family and to some very good friends.  I was diagnosed in January of this year.  I know exactly what you mean about the who and when issue.  I say only when you are ready and until then, only to those that it is necessary.  I disclosed to family becuase I felt they would provide some emotional support I needed. I was correct.  On the flip side, I disclosed to some friends that I thought would be supportive and they weren't able to handle it.  I never hear from them now.
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: a step out of the closet
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2006, 10:58:20 PM »
Thanks all for the words of encouragement and support!!! 

Cheers
Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

 


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