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Author Topic: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female  (Read 1109 times)

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Offline badluckthrice

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Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« on: August 20, 2014, 08:38:58 PM »
Hello, and I'm sorry for another low risk "Am I Infected?" post. But I'm worried and I have no one else to talk to...

I'm a female and I gave oral sex (and fingered her at the same time) to another female who I later found out to be HIV+. She didn't tell me before we had sex, because she thinks I wouldn't get it. We only had sex that one time.
She claims she's also undetectable and takes antiretrovirals everyday. I'm not sure whether I want to date her or not right now because she didn't disclose beforehand and I don't trust her because of that.

One thing is though, I'm a heavy smoker. The night we had sex, I had smoked a whole pack and my throat is always sore from smoking. I also fingered her at the same time, and I don't remember if any vaginal fluid got into my mouth, I doubt it though. I mostly used my tongue on her clit, and didn't explore too much. The oral lasted about 30 minutes.

All I want to know is should I be worried? What are my chances? 1/10000? 1/30000? 1/2000?
I apologize again for this, but I'm just scared for my health. I treated her well, took her out to nice restaurant and payed, I didn't deserve this... If we used protection, it would be different.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2014, 08:49:21 PM »
Hi Bad luck . HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex and not from fingering or cunnilingus . Your partners status is not a factor . Instead of typing it all I will share what moderator Ann offered once ... its perfect and factual and I use it wan I can . 

Quoted from Ann .

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect.

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Offline badluckthrice

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Re: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2014, 09:10:55 PM »
Thanks for the kind and quick response. I am not that worrisome, but I do think I should be tested for this one incident. I will come back here in a month and post my (most likely negative) results, I've been reading around and I see there are many great people who are in this situation. For the highly highly unlikely chance that I have HIV, I'm glad I won't be alone. :)

There are a few things though, that I disagree with you on.

HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex and not from fingering or cunnilingus . Your partners status is not a factor . Instead of typing it all I will share what moderator Ann offered once ... its perfect and factual and I use it wan I can . 

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!


I see. I understand it is barely a risk, and I will make history if I do get it in this way.

However, I do not think there is "no" risk.

HIV is transmitted when infected blood, vaginal fluids, or semen enters the body. To me, despite the defensiveness of saliva against the virus, anything could've happened, all it takes is one virus.

Why does the CDC still suggest we use "barriers"?
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/behavior/oralsex.html

I agree that I'm probably negative, but to say that there is "no" risk is a little risky in itself, do you not think so?

And if I choose to continue dating this woman, I will use protection.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2014, 09:35:34 PM »
We rely on the latest peer reviewed science to base our assessments on and do not comment on what other sites have to say about transmission and you are wrong ... vaginal fluids are not infectious for HIV and that is why cunnilingus is not risk .

The bottom line is if you are uneasy then follow through with HIV testing as you should be doing any way . Best !

Online Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2014, 12:47:33 PM »
Please do not post outside of your own thread ... read the posting rules at the top of this forum . If you have trouble finding your thread go to your profile and select show own post and it will take you here .

Online Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2014, 09:43:37 PM »
Please do not post outside of your own thread ... read the posting rules at the top of this forum . If you have trouble finding your thread go to your profile and select show own post and it will take you here .

If you post outside this thread again you will be banned .

Offline badluckthrice

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Re: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2014, 10:00:49 PM »
What the hell? My question had nothing to do with the notion of me being infected. I was merely asking HIV positive women how they disclose to someone they like. I guess I just wanted to see the situation in the girl's POV, had absolutely nothing to do with me being infected or not. I'm done asking those questions, I'm not crazy.

This is outright discrimination.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex on confirmed HIV+ female
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2014, 10:06:35 PM »
What the hell? My question had nothing to do with the notion of me being infected. I was merely asking HIV positive women how they disclose to someone they like. I guess I just wanted to see the situation in the girl's POV, had absolutely nothing to do with me being infected or not. I'm done asking those questions, I'm not crazy.

This is outright discrimination.

If you had bothered to read the posting guidelines you would know that as an HIV negative person and a member of the AM I INFECTED you are only allowed to post in this one thread . The forum is a support forum for people living with HIV and we do not welcome you or other negative people come in a quiz our members . you don't have to like it but thats the way it is .

We do risk assessments as a public service and for prevention ... and we answered your questions . You never had a risk from cunnilingus so just move on already .
« Last Edit: September 07, 2014, 10:09:40 PM by Jeff G »

 


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