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Author Topic: Disclosure  (Read 1524 times)

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Offline Oh501sguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 113
Disclosure
« on: November 11, 2006, 11:07:12 AM »
I have a question...I would like to date or at least meet new people.  What I have been doing is talking to people online and of course making a announcement within the first conversation that I am HIV poz.  Maybe it is a secret fantasy that they tell me " Big deal, so am I ! "  It dosen't work that way.  I stay home alone every night.  No dates.  My ideal thing would be to meet other poz people as friends and possible dates.  I feel like I'm doing everything wrong.  I'm an ok looking guy, but ...I don't know.  I am a little insecure.  Aside from major therapy...any suggestions? 

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: Disclosure
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2006, 11:10:57 AM »
I would stick to Poz dating sites, and look for online poz chat rooms in Gay.com, Connexions, etc. Do a search in other sites for poz as a keyword, and strike up conv's. with those people.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: Disclosure
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2006, 11:17:26 AM »
.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 07:56:57 PM by Iggy »

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,706
Re: Disclosure
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2006, 11:19:31 AM »
OH, you have lots of company with this concern.

HIV is just another element in dealing with the challenges of dating. Granted, a biggie, but as someone once said to me, "Dating is horrible. Dating is wonderful."

I'm wondering what your interests are. I raise that question because getting into things you enjoy which bring you pleasure can often be a good way of making new friends and yes, possibly dates as well. You can of course try the various dating services, but I've often found that shared interests make for a good way to broaden your life socially.

The thing is that you need to do things you're really interested in and enjoy them for their own sake, not because you are anxiously looking around to see if Mr. Wonderful is there and panting eagerly for you as well. Finding things you enjoy makes your life more interesting and makes you more appealing as well. Taking a course, joining a group which is about something you like and/or volunteering are just some of the things you might consider.  

As far as disclosure, well that is certainly a toughie. Some people can handle getting that news and others can't and there's no certainty about the reaction you will get. You'll see from these pages that some go for disclosing right away whereas others prefer to wait until knowing each other somewhat better. You'll have to see what works for you.

Putting yourself out there and living as good a life as you can will be a reward in itself. There's no guarantee when a swell fella is going to come along, but in the meantime you'll be enjoying life, which is a pretty damn good thing to be doing.

Keep us posted on how it's going.  

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: Disclosure
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2006, 11:33:48 AM »
All that is true Andy. I think he's trying to get his feet wet , and short of having a group such as SINNYC near him, where they have social events, chatting with other HIV'ers online can lead to finding out what they do socially.  I could have been a little clearer. Not all chats lead to dates, and not all dates are going to lead to a wonderful monogamous relationship. They can, however , lead to new friendships.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Oh501sguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 113
Re: Disclosure
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2006, 12:20:03 PM »
You know... the friendships that I do have have lasted longer than any relationship that I've ever had.  Unfortunately, most of my true friends have moved to different parts of the country.  We do, however keep in contact.  My best friend of 20 years, who lives in Los Angeles for example, we talk to each other about 5 times a week.  Im seeing him through a break up and heartache right now. 


Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Disclosure
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2006, 07:31:27 PM »
Hey Oh501sguy,

Information tends to come in three's. I Third the motion that was made by LongIslander. Stick to the Poz dating sites. You are looking for someone who you can share with and spend quality time with. Sometimes the search can be long or sometimes the search can be short. However, if you are looking, eventually you will find someone.

I am sending you my BEST wishes in your search.


Make the BEST of each Day!

 


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