HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

Expert help appreciated please..

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This website is most helpful Ė Iíve read many threads and the lessons and would appreciate your views on the following; itís a bit lengthy but hopefully comprehensive.

I had protected sex once with a young lady 7 weeks ago Ė I had a couple of drinks but pretty much remember the condom staying on; so does she, as I didnít come.  Later in the night she placed my unprotedted penis between her legs and thrusted until I came Ė we didnít have penetration as we didnít have a second condom; there could have been some rubbing.  She performed unprotected oral sex on me (for 15 mins) and I on her for less than half a minute.  She was very very dry and when I fondled her had to put saliva on my hand first, she did as well.  I also fingered her anus for just a few seconds.  She had quite a few small eczema sores on her body and may have scratched these before fondling my penis.  She indicated she has only had 2 sex partners in the last 2 years since she tested Ėve for HIV although I donít totally trust her but am still in touch.

Since then I have had flu symptoms.  It started about  4/5 days after intercourse with a sore throat, this then got worse but never that bad.  My throat has been especially dry at night but is now getting much better.  On a couple of occasions in the morning my tongue was fused to the roof of my mouth and left a small blister at the end of my tongue (a Ďlie blisterí?).  About 10 days after intercourse, the sore throat remained but my glands in my groin, then a week later, in my lower neck started to swell.  I was conscious of swallowing but it never hurt that much.  About three weeks after intercourse my tongue also started to get furry and still is a bit and I also  started to get catarrah Ė blocked nose etc.  Iíve had a couple of small headaches but that is about it.

I have had a full STI check (2 weeks after intercourse as recommended and it was clear) and am booked in for HIV at the 12 week period.

It is worth noting that I have been suffering from a bit of stress with my new job; high blood pressure, some hair loss, waking up at night.  Since the intercourse Iíve been scarred stiff and worse, introverted constantly thinking about it and the affects on my family etc.  Iíve not discussed the sex with my family doctor but he has indicated that fluís can last this long.

From reading the threads it indicates that there is zero risk from oral sex, symptoms do not appear from as early as 4/5 days and they only last 1-2 weeks.  Could it be therefore that my catching a cold/flu was pure coincidence and the high degree of stress Iíve been suffering has meant that Iíve not been able to get rid of the flu.  (My fluís do not normally last this long).

This is what Iím hoping but Iíd be very interested in your views Ė Iím frightened.  What are the risky things here?

Many thanks.


Nothing you describe put you at risk for hiv infection.  Your use of safe sex practices is to be commended. 

The symptoms you detail are not indicative of primary hiv infection.  Continue to work with your doctor to get to the bottom of your symptoms.  But as far as hiv goes, I don't see a risk that warrants testing.

Continue to use condoms for vaginal or anal sex and you will avoid hiv infection.


Andy Velez:
The crucial detail is that you used a condom for intercourse. Since you did that you were well protected as far as HIV is concerned.

None of the other activities would have put you at risk for HIV transmission, even if your partner was HIV+, which you don't even know was so in this case.

So there's no cause for further concern about HIV this time nor for testing.

As for your symptoms that is something you should be discussing with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV and I wouldn't want to speculate about them. Keep using those condoms everytime you have intercourse and you'll be fine as far as HIV is concerned.


Thankyou for your advice - I wish I'd found this site sooner.



Today, about eight weeks after I had sex with this young lady, I have started developing a rash (non-itchy) on my forearms that I've never had before.  Itís just red small spots on one  forearm about half way down and they other one has just got a few.  Iíve also got a couple of small white spots on the inside of my lips; theyíre not sore or anything.  Call me paranoid, but from reading around the web (and I have read the lessons), the symptoms Iíve had (and I know Iíve been suffering from stress) seem to be the ones that are listed for HIV; I know what you've said but then what are the symptoms of primary infection?

Could it be that my immune system was low anyway (white blood count) and Iíve just picked these up (e.g. heat rash - it's been very hot here today) or is there something more sinister?

Your views would be appreciated.

Many regards



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