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Author Topic: Expert help appreciated please..  (Read 4198 times)

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Offline SteveNew

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Expert help appreciated please..
« on: June 07, 2006, 04:38:54 PM »
This website is most helpful Ė Iíve read many threads and the lessons and would appreciate your views on the following; itís a bit lengthy but hopefully comprehensive.

I had protected sex once with a young lady 7 weeks ago Ė I had a couple of drinks but pretty much remember the condom staying on; so does she, as I didnít come.  Later in the night she placed my unprotedted penis between her legs and thrusted until I came Ė we didnít have penetration as we didnít have a second condom; there could have been some rubbing.  She performed unprotected oral sex on me (for 15 mins) and I on her for less than half a minute.  She was very very dry and when I fondled her had to put saliva on my hand first, she did as well.  I also fingered her anus for just a few seconds.  She had quite a few small eczema sores on her body and may have scratched these before fondling my penis.  She indicated she has only had 2 sex partners in the last 2 years since she tested Ėve for HIV although I donít totally trust her but am still in touch.

Since then I have had flu symptoms.  It started about  4/5 days after intercourse with a sore throat, this then got worse but never that bad.  My throat has been especially dry at night but is now getting much better.  On a couple of occasions in the morning my tongue was fused to the roof of my mouth and left a small blister at the end of my tongue (a Ďlie blisterí?).  About 10 days after intercourse, the sore throat remained but my glands in my groin, then a week later, in my lower neck started to swell.  I was conscious of swallowing but it never hurt that much.  About three weeks after intercourse my tongue also started to get furry and still is a bit and I also  started to get catarrah Ė blocked nose etc.  Iíve had a couple of small headaches but that is about it.

I have had a full STI check (2 weeks after intercourse as recommended and it was clear) and am booked in for HIV at the 12 week period.

It is worth noting that I have been suffering from a bit of stress with my new job; high blood pressure, some hair loss, waking up at night.  Since the intercourse Iíve been scarred stiff and worse, introverted constantly thinking about it and the affects on my family etc.  Iíve not discussed the sex with my family doctor but he has indicated that fluís can last this long.

From reading the threads it indicates that there is zero risk from oral sex, symptoms do not appear from as early as 4/5 days and they only last 1-2 weeks.  Could it be therefore that my catching a cold/flu was pure coincidence and the high degree of stress Iíve been suffering has meant that Iíve not been able to get rid of the flu.  (My fluís do not normally last this long).

This is what Iím hoping but Iíd be very interested in your views Ė Iím frightened.  What are the risky things here?

Many thanks.

Offline Morgan

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  • You did WHAT??
Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2006, 04:55:22 PM »

Nothing you describe put you at risk for hiv infection.  Your use of safe sex practices is to be commended. 

The symptoms you detail are not indicative of primary hiv infection.  Continue to work with your doctor to get to the bottom of your symptoms.  But as far as hiv goes, I don't see a risk that warrants testing.

Continue to use condoms for vaginal or anal sex and you will avoid hiv infection.

Morgan Landers

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2006, 05:06:54 PM »
The crucial detail is that you used a condom for intercourse. Since you did that you were well protected as far as HIV is concerned.

None of the other activities would have put you at risk for HIV transmission, even if your partner was HIV+, which you don't even know was so in this case.

So there's no cause for further concern about HIV this time nor for testing.

As for your symptoms that is something you should be discussing with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV and I wouldn't want to speculate about them. Keep using those condoms everytime you have intercourse and you'll be fine as far as HIV is concerned.

Andy Velez

Offline SteveNew

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Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2006, 05:30:47 PM »
Thankyou for your advice - I wish I'd found this site sooner.



Offline SteveNew

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Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2006, 03:21:56 PM »
Today, about eight weeks after I had sex with this young lady, I have started developing a rash (non-itchy) on my forearms that I've never had before.  Itís just red small spots on one  forearm about half way down and they other one has just got a few.  Iíve also got a couple of small white spots on the inside of my lips; theyíre not sore or anything.  Call me paranoid, but from reading around the web (and I have read the lessons), the symptoms Iíve had (and I know Iíve been suffering from stress) seem to be the ones that are listed for HIV; I know what you've said but then what are the symptoms of primary infection?

Could it be that my immune system was low anyway (white blood count) and Iíve just picked these up (e.g. heat rash - it's been very hot here today) or is there something more sinister?

Your views would be appreciated.

Many regards


Offline scotslassie

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Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2006, 03:29:52 PM »
sounds like you need to get to a chemist and get some hydrocortisone cream or something,  I had the same recently but am prone to it for a long time

I think you should reread the others replies to yours re. your status

Offline Morgan

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Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2006, 03:30:41 PM »

That's the problem with symptoms...... you can have some, none, or all of the symptoms normally associated with primary hiv infection and be positive or negative.  That is why we don't focus on them here.

That said, symptoms, if they occur at all, do so 2-4 weeks post exposure. They come all at once, and leave all at once a week or so later.  The rash is usually on the trunk.

You had protected sex and as such, were never at risk for hiv infection.  

Your symptoms can be explained by many, many, things.  Work with your doctor to get to the bottom of their cause.

« Last Edit: June 10, 2006, 03:34:03 PM by Morgan »
Morgan Landers

Offline SteveNew

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2006, 02:26:52 PM »
After doing some research and reading a number of the other posts, I put my 'symptoms' down to stress; it can affect the immune system, catching various bugs and viruses is easier and they take longer to go.  I will however follow things through with my family doctor as you recommend and indeed had a blood test yesterday.

One thing is bugging me though, when I said on my original post "later in the night she placed my unprotedted penis between her legs and thrusted until I came Ė we didnít have penetration as we didnít have a second condom", [we were lying on our sides (front to back then back to front)], have I created additional risk as my penis head could have been rubbing against her vagina or anus for part of our activity.

I look forward to hearing your views.

Many thanks for doing a great job


Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2006, 03:04:45 PM »

The genital rubbing without penetration is called frottage and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and successful transmission normally occurs INSIDE the human body. Frottage takes place OUTside the human body. You didn't have a risk.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AlexQ

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Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2006, 02:37:41 AM »

perhaps what you are feeling is guilt of only going down on the woman for 30 sec vs 15 min.  j/k, as others have stated, you are not hiv infected from this incident.  practice safer and equality sex.   

Offline SteveNew

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Expert help appreciated please..
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2006, 05:37:13 PM »
..your comment brought a smile to my face, AlexQ... so much so I might go for a full 16 secs next time ..!?!




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