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Author Topic: Can someone help me get through this?  (Read 954 times)

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Offline joeytheboxer

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Can someone help me get through this?
« on: June 23, 2014, 05:11:04 PM »
Hi there, thank you so much for accepting my request.

I guess this is going to be one of those worry posts. But any reply would be so much appreciated :)

So about two and a half months ago I had a risk situation with a guy in Germany (I'm a guy too, by the way). Lots of french kissing, frottage, cuddling. I did suck his penis for a while and his penis touched my anus for a good 5 minutes. It was unprotected but not penetrative.

What worries me so much is that I had some oral ulcers and he did say that he tasted blood while we were kissing. So some open wounds were definitely in question here. There was some precum on his penis as well when I blew him.

He immediately did a test one week after, which he claimed to be negative (his last risk situation was 6 months past that day). But somehow when we've just been exposed to one of the world's incurable diseases, we can't believe someone we don't really know that easily, now can we?

I'm going to get tested in 2 weeks (so 12 weeks after the risk), and I'm terrified and freaking out. A lot of people have been telling me not to worry because what we did had an extremely low risk. But low risk is still something right? What if I happened to be the unlucky one?

I've had no ARS symptoms at all, just my usual mouth ulcer and some flaky skin/mild skin rash on my elbows. I know it sounds very far-fetched, but I might be one of those people who do not develop any ARS symptoms at all after infection.

Bottomline: Should I be worried? And should I get another test in 3 months time? Thank you so much!

Offline Joe K

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Re: Can someone help me get through this?
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2014, 05:24:55 PM »

Nothing you did put you at risk for infection  French kissing, frottage, cuddling and oral sex are not a risk of infection.

The risk factors for HIV are ...

Sharing IV drug needles immediately after use.
Unprotected anal and vaginal sex.
Mother to child during or shortly after birth.
Very specific healthcare situations.

The presence of any blood in your mouth does not matter because HIV is a very fragile virus that becomes damaged when exposed to the air.  Saliva is another defense, in that it contains over a dozen proteins and enzymes that alter HIV and render it unable to infect.

You are really getting worked up over nothing.  You never had an exposure.  Nobody has ever become positive over what you reported and you will not be the first.

Believe me, if I thought you had even a slight risk, I would be begging you to test.

You did not have a risk.


Offline joeytheboxer

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Re: Can someone help me get through this?
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2014, 05:57:55 AM »
Hi Joe, thank you for replying and your information.

Thank you for reassuring me. But how come I always see oral sex (especially when oral wounds are present) as a risk factor on a lot of sites like CDC, etc? I mean, they wouldn't lie right? And are you 100% sure that no one has been infected that way?

I don't intend to doubt you or anything, please don't have the wrong idea. It's just that it's psychologically tiring to think of possible ways of contracting the disease. I just want to make sure that I get reliable information.

Should I get tested again in 3 months (so 6 months after the encounter)?

Thank you in advance.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2014, 06:00:20 AM by joeytheboxer »

Offline Ann

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Re: Can someone help me get through this?
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2014, 07:59:59 AM »

Unless you have absolutely terrible oral health (google "meth mouth" for examples) and you happened to blow someone with an extremely high viral load, then you didn't have a risk for hiv infection. It is exceedingly rare for anyone to become infected this way.

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER ORAL SEX, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

By the way, a test at THREE MONTHS past any incident of UNPROTECTED ANAL OR VAGINAL INTERCOURSE is conclusive. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six WEEKS, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week negative result is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point - when there has actually been a risk. You have not had a risk, unless you've been engaging in unprotected intercourse - with anyone - that you neglected to mention.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline joeytheboxer

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Re: Can someone help me get through this?
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2014, 06:29:45 AM »
Thank you for the reply Ann.

I just have one last question, though. I forgot to mention that he did some fingering on me for a while. He spit on his finger and then put that finger in my anus (though it's not very deep, maybe just 1 inch deep). Is that considered a risk? Because theoretically, the spit could contain the virus and I might have some anal wounds which I wasn't aware of, correct?

That would be all. Thanks again everyone :)

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Can someone help me get through this?
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2014, 07:54:31 AM »
Saliva has enzymes and proteins that damage HIV and render it unable to infect . Fingering is not a risk for HIV . HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex so if you use correctly and consistently use condoms you will avoid HIV .

You did not have a risk for HIV .   


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