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Author Topic: Oral sex and fingering  (Read 3966 times)

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Offline Rhea

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Oral sex and fingering
« on: May 19, 2014, 06:17:23 PM »
Dear Member repliers,

You are doing a great job with the forums and putting people's minds at peace.

I will keep my question short and simple to make it easier for you to answer:

Background: I am 27 year old female and contracted genital herpes in 2013 when my then boyfriend performed oral sex on me.

Concerned about: On 11-May-2014 I had an encounter with my male friend. Both of us drunk (me more than him), he fingered me in the vagina and anus. There was a big non bleeding cut around my anus from his fingernail that I noticed the next day.
Also concerned about me performing unprotected oral sex on him. He did not cum in my mouth but I am concerned because I had bitten the inside of my cheek that afternoon and also had a mouth ulcer. Concerned about HIV today because I have developed a weird itchy rash on my thighs.

His bakground: Met him in January this year, took him to a sexual health clinic in March and got him tested for all STIs and turned out to be clean.

Concerned because: He had been to thailand and slept around before he met me. Also developed an itchy rash this morning

Please help

Regards


Offline Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2014, 06:23:06 PM »
You did not have a risk for HIV . Fingering and oral sex are not risk factors for HIV .

There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections.
Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2014, 06:33:16 PM »
Thanks Jeff,

But what about the ulcer and cut in my mouth. What if he had cum in my mouth although I am almost sure he didnt.
And what about the anal tearing from his finger nail, does that pose a risk?
I am also worried about the rashes that developed exactly a week later, like my body is trying to fight HIV. When I saw the rashed on my thighs is when I freaked out.

Regards

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2014, 06:49:47 PM »
If you had a rid we would be begging you to test and treat if need be but you did not . Fingering is not a risk ever for HIV . HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex . The theoretical risk for oral comes from giving oral to a man who has a high HIV viral load while you have significant wounds in your mouth ... big open bleeding wounds . Oral transmission is exceedingly rare and that is because its not an efficient route for transmission and also because your saliva contains properties that damage the virus and render it unable to infect .

If you want to test for peace of mind or if its time for the std HIV checkups you should be having anyway you can test . It will be negative if this is your only concern .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2014, 05:33:03 PM »
Hi,
What is a rid as you say in your last reply?
Also, everywhere I read they say that oral sex might be the cause of 3% of HIV cases so how is it that you are so sure its no risk all?why are they scaring people? why cant they just say its no risk like with kissing. Why do they say there is some risk? I am so confused and scared

Regards

Offline Joe K

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2014, 06:26:17 PM »
Hi,
What is a rid as you say in your last reply?
Also, everywhere I read they say that oral sex might be the cause of 3% of HIV cases so how is it that you are so sure its no risk all?why are they scaring people? why cant they just say its no risk like with kissing. Why do they say there is some risk? I am so confused and scared

Regards

Jeff meant to say "risk" and that if you had one, we would be begging you to test.  Again, oral sex and fingering is not a risk for HIV infection.  We are not responsible for what other sites may claim.  We base our assessments on the latest peer-reviewed science, which informs us that oral sex and fingering are not a risk for HIV infection.

Joe

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2014, 08:59:01 PM »
I am a 27 year old female and last week I had an incident with a guy where there was no penetration involved but a lot of frottage on my back side. There was no anal penetration of any sort but he put his penis inside my butt crack and we grinded. The first time we did this he ejaculated outside. The second time he asked me if he could ejaculate over me and I said no, he said too late and when he said that I pushed him away. I saw that he had already started ejaculating when I pushed him away. Though I did not feel any ejaculation on my butt crack, I am a bit worried if it could have gone to my anus and given me HIV.
I have herpes already but haven't had an outbreak in the last two years. I asked him a lot of times if he was clean and he told me he is clean and I was fine up until now. Suddenly anxiety has got the better of me and I am afraid I might be infected.
Please help

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2014, 09:08:15 PM »
Sexual fluids are not infectious once outside the human body so you did not have a risk .
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

« Last Edit: August 24, 2014, 09:22:41 PM by Jeff G »
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
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HIV Transmission and Risks
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HIV TasP
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HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2014, 09:17:28 PM »
Thanks Jeff,

is it a rule that penetration has to occur for HIV from bodily fluids?
What if a little semen or precum touched the walls of the anal opening or vagina?

Regards

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2014, 09:22:31 PM »
HIV is sexually transmitted from penetrative vaginal and anal sex . HIv is fragile and becomes instantly damaged outside the human body and unable to infect . So, like I have said before ...Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2014, 05:22:07 PM »
I am a 27 year old female who recently lost my virginity to a male friend. He said he is a virgin too but I do not know how true that is.
We had protected sex but it didn't last very long because I was too tight and he seemed inexperienced. However my hymen broke and I bled a little for three days.

Now the bleeding has led me to think I might have put myself to some kind of risk because of tiny injuries in my vagina. I am also scared that because we both were drunk he might have not worn the condom right or it  might have had a tear and we might have not noticed it.

I am really scared, am I at high risk? do I need to get tested.

I am also imagining him not wearing a condom at all or removing it midway, though I do know he was wearing one and never removed it, but my mind just keeps playing tricks on me.

Am I at high risk?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #11 on: September 24, 2014, 05:28:22 PM »
If he was using a condom and it was intact and covering the tip of his penis then you did not have a risk .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2016, 08:16:17 AM »
Hello,

I have been tested regularly for STIs and have come out negative for everything. Last month was my annual test and I was negative.
I had contracted genital herpes in 2013 from an oral sex incident but havent had anything since then.

On friday, I met this guy (HIV status unknown) through a common friend and we ended up kissing quite a bit with a lot off deep/french kissing. He also kissed my neck and chest and sucked on my boobs for a few seconds. He also fingered me for a few seconds. Nothing more happen.

Since that incident I have been freaking out because:
1) I always have blood when I brush my teeth, which means I have gum disease, what if that led to an open channel to HIV entering my body?
2) I had previously bit my cheek a few hours ago while eating, what if that led to open channel when we kissed?
3) I also noticed the next day that i had another cut in my cheeks possibly from all the kissing and lower lip felt swollen and red (possibly with tiny tears)
Could this have any risk?
I didnt see any marks on my neck or chest but i there were tiny bites and marks which I did not notice, could this be a risk?
Please help, I am scared and freaking out. Cant function normally. All I think about is HIV growing in my body
Regards

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2016, 08:20:30 AM »
Hi

1,2,3 - No.

The virus is very fragile, and your mouth has dozens of protein and enzymes that damage the virus and render it unable to infect.  If this is your only concern you have not put yourself at risk.

Keep in mind that HIV firstly needs to be present for it to be a risk and in sufficient quantity for it to transmit, it also than needs an effective route,
and it must also reach cells which are susceptible to infection.  Nothing you mentioned meet the 4 basic biological requirements and all are needed for transmission.

Jeff in the past has also correctly pointed out that fingering is not a risk.
Read back your posts.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions. As you are sexually active, it is highly recommended that you get a full sexual health check-up / screening at least annually including but not limited to hiv testing.

Remember that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's. So please do get fully tested regularly for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs. Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Finally use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, to avoid sexually transmitted hiv infection.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2016, 08:23:12 AM by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2016, 08:38:19 AM »
Thanks Jim for the Prompt reply
I have noticed the cuts on my cheek is swollen and has clotted blood on it which means that th cut must have been deep and bled when it occurred.
Lets assume that he was HIV positive,now would I have any HIV risk?
I do not know if he had any cuts or not...

i just had my annual test last month, do you see any reason for me getting tested again outside the annual teasts from the incidence? I just want to forget about this and move one...

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2016, 08:41:09 AM »
Hi

No and no.

This was not a risk and for the risk assessments you had we always presume the other person is living with HIV.

Unless you where both actively bleeding into each others mouths for some strange reason  :o than it was not a risk, and even than i would not be concerned. Its simple this does not happen and did not happen and so it was not a risk.

Jim
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #16 on: September 17, 2016, 11:25:38 AM »
Hello,
I am really worried. Yesterday night I met a guy and we kissed the whole night. He also rubbed my clit a lot and fingered me a lot. The next day  today I am very sore and scared that there might be cuts from all the kissing and rubbing and fingering. He also has a lot of acne so I feel like what if there was some kind of bleeding from either side and I got infected.
We also tried having sex and he wore a condom but because I was tight it wouldn't go beyond a little bit, and we tried once.. Now I am imagining things like what if the condom broke or slipped out and I didn't know. At one point he did say his condom was slipping and he needed to change it. He did change it but I am scared what if before he changed his first condom slipped completely and infected me. I know there was not even once that he was not protected. I know his Precum did not touch me but I am scared and my anxiety is making me imagine the worse.
Did I have any risk? Should I worry or get tested for any of these scenarios?
Regards

Offline Wade

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #17 on: September 17, 2016, 01:02:53 PM »
Hi Rhea, Nothing you posted was risk for HIV .
Had the condom failed it would have been obvious, maybe, might have and what ifs
are not risks, they are worries. If these were your only concerns it is safe to move on .

Best, Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
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 HIV Testing
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 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

Offline Rhea

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2016, 02:05:16 PM »
Hello,

I have had a few risks (I have numbered my potential risks so that they could be looked at individually) in the last few weeks and I am really worried.
I was diagnosed with GENITAL HERPES in 2013 from a cunnilingus experience.
I also have BLEEDING GUMS when I brush my teeth, a few TEETH DECAYS, a temporary tooth filling a few weeks back which came off and both my wisdom tooth sprouting which can be pretty painful sometime.

1) Last week I kissed a guy (a lot of deep kissing) whose HIV status I do not know but that very afternoon before I had bit my cheek to the point that it bled and the next day when I checked my cheek I saw another cut with dried blood on it.

This week I met a guy whom I know pretty well and we are on the verge of a relationship (almost). Even though I know him pretty well I still doubt him about his HIV and other STI status (he has assured me he doesnt have anything).

We have been spending many nights together with a lot of
2) deep kissing, fingering, hand jobs and frottage.
3) I have also given him a blowjob with a condom however the condom seemed sticky before we even started. assuming that some precum came onto the outside of the condom, could this cause HIV with all my mouth problems?

4)Some of the frottage was without condom which meant that his precum/cum touched my vagina and anus, could this be a risk?

5) Even though the condom never broke when I gave him a blowjob or when we tried to have vaginal sex (which was pretty unsuccessful as I was very tight and it wouldnt go in past a tiny bit), my mind is playing tricks on me and I am starting to doubt if it broke and what are the chances of me catching HIV if it actually did and I didnt know???? What are the chances of not knowing when a condom breaks whislt giving a blowjob.... I am really really freaked out... I was unlucky once when I got herpes from my first sexual experience and I feel I am going to be unlucky again.

Please Help  :'(

Regards

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Oral sex and fingering
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2016, 02:53:16 PM »
Hi

This has been asked and answered a number of times by different members of this community.

Some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's. That;s the truth however as far as HIV is concerned you have had no risks.

Please do not post or ask about questions or scenarios already asked and answered and/or a no risk situation again, I say this from a point of kindness as you just need to move on now and stop focusing/stressing about HIV. If you do so again you will be receiving a TO.

Read back the entire thread again it really has all been covered.

Jim 

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.





Sexual fluids are not infectious once outside the human body so you did not have a risk .
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!


a number of times.


Hi Rhea, Nothing you posted was risk for HIV .
Had the condom failed it would have been obvious, maybe, might have and what ifs
are not risks, they are worries. If these were your only concerns it is safe to move on .

Best, Wade

Hi

No and no.

This was not a risk and for the risk assessments you had we always presume the other person is living with HIV.

Unless you where both actively bleeding into each others mouths for some strange reason  :o than it was not a risk, and even than i would not be concerned. Its simple this does not happen and did not happen and so it was not a risk.

Jim
Hi

1,2,3 - No.

The virus is very fragile, and your mouth has dozens of protein and enzymes that damage the virus and render it unable to infect.  If this is your only concern you have not put yourself at risk.

Keep in mind that HIV firstly needs to be present for it to be a risk and in sufficient quantity for it to transmit, it also than needs an effective route,
and it must also reach cells which are susceptible to infection.  Nothing you mentioned meet the 4 basic biological requirements and all are needed for transmission.

Jeff in the past has also correctly pointed out that fingering is not a risk.
Read back your posts.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions. As you are sexually active, it is highly recommended that you get a full sexual health check-up / screening at least annually including but not limited to hiv testing.

Remember that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's. So please do get fully tested regularly for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs. Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Finally use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, to avoid sexually transmitted hiv infection.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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