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Author Topic: Did I infect someone?  (Read 448 times)

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Offline vetton

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Did I infect someone?
« on: May 19, 2014, 08:01:33 AM »
I had sex with this guy today (I was the bottom and didn't disclose my status prior to meeting him) and I'm 95% sure the condom broke. I'm on meds and I'm undetectable, so I understand the risk is very minimal.
But sometimes I get dermatitis (well something similar) on my ass and the skin can break causing it to bleed. This morning there was the tiniest speck of blood when I went to the bathroom but I didn't check before I met this guy. I'm concerned he could have contracted something while he was rimming me - which I wasn't terribly comfortable with and changed it up very quickly. Is this possible?

I'm also concerned about what STI's he may have potentially given me while rimming.

Can anyone give a few words of wisdom?

Online Jeff G

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  • Posts: 11,814
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Did I infect someone?
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2014, 08:21:18 AM »
Rimming is not a risk for HIV even if there was a little blood . HIV is far to fragile to be transmitted that way . If you are worried about std's it could be possible to contract herpes that way but in all reality I think you are having anxiety over this . You are sexually active so the right thing to do is to have regular sexual heath checkups that screen for std's, testing is the only way to know if you are infected . It is near zero chance that the insertive partner would contract HIV from a undetectable bottom from a condom break .   

The anxiety you having is something lots of us poz people deal with at some point . Its going to be up to you to decide how you deal with these things . If you disclose your status before sex it makes it much easier to deal with situations like these . The good news is we do know that undetectable is a powerful prevention tool ... but it doesn't do much for anxiety and worry if we end up having to tell a partner after we had sex that we are living with HIV .   

Offline vetton

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Did I infect someone?
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2014, 08:29:09 AM »
Thanks heaps for your response, Jeff. You've definitely put my mind at rest.

Online Jeff G

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  • Posts: 11,814
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Did I infect someone?
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2014, 08:33:16 AM »
You are welcome Vetton .

Offline WindySkies

  • Member
  • Posts: 113
  • Tested + 10/11/12
Re: Did I infect someone?
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2014, 12:30:26 PM »
If you live in the U.S. and in one of the states with disclosure laws, you should be more afraid of him finding out your positive, then turing you in to police.  As crappy as the laws are, and how most here disagree with them, you should really consider the personal ramifications of not legally disclosing if you are compelled to by law.

I'm also undetectable and didn't disclose to a top once only to have him email me about a month later saying he discovered I was positive and threatening to call the police on me.  Luckily he never did, but every time I heard a car outside, or had an unexpected knock at my door I was scared it would be detectives coming to arrest me.  Since then disclosure is one of the first few things that come up in conversation with potential sexual partners.  Unfortunately that has led to about a 99% rejection rate by 'negative' guys.
10/11/2012 Journey Started
10/17/2012 First Labs: VL=57,645  CD4+=730  37%
10/31/2012 Started Complera
11/30/2012 Labs: VL=80  CD4+=929 40%
12/24/2012 Started Stribild

Undetectable since 1/15/13 CD4+= Over 1,400 and 49%

 


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