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Author Topic: Re: One year since my diagnoses  (Read 740 times)

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Offline Dealing

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« on: May 18, 2014, 02:52:53 AM »
Hi Everyone
Im farely new on this this forum, ive been mostly just reading but today I got the courage to write.Its been such a a hard weeks, I ask myself how did you get through the year.

Everything is such a rollercoaster, at times im ok and tell myself ill be ok and ill live with this but the next minute im literally having heart palpitations and im breaking down.I dont know jow to handle this , im so scared. Im only 21 and I feel like my life is over already
« Last Edit: May 18, 2014, 09:32:54 AM by Jeff G »

Offline zach

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  • Posts: 1,561
  • not fade away
Re: Re: Today makes one year since my diagnoses
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2014, 07:41:00 AM »
cheers man! one year, thats a milestone and cause for celebration. life ain't over

kids, jeez, they'll do you in before the virus. mine were old enough at my dx they've been able to handle and process. one of them even cracks jokes from time to time
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2014, 09:36:05 AM »
Welcome to the forum Dealing . I'm happy you decided to make your first post . I split the topic so that you can have your own thread, seeing how this is your first post I wanted to make sure you got a proper welcome to the forum and the attention it deserves .

It gets better in time . 

Offline Dealing

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2014, 12:44:44 AM »
Thanks, how would I access it? Forgive me im still trying to figure my way around.

Online pittman

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  • Posts: 226
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2014, 12:45:37 AM »
Welcome to the forums.

I think that coming to terms with a positive diagnoses is hard at any age, and you can have different challenges adjusting depending at what life stage you are at.

So what are you finding is the hardest part for you?  Have you started meds yet?

For me, the hardest at first was in getting comfortable with the science and treatments, accepting that they were effective. I then had to emotionally start adjusting, with the doctor appointments being a bit of an emotional impact as it was the reminder, even more than my daily pill.

A few years later and it's much more routine and easier for me.

Offline Dealing

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  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2014, 12:57:08 AM »
Im from Africa so Hiv here is regarded as a Death sentence, I guess im overally having a hard time putting my head around all of this, I was diagnosed two weeks ago after I had a miscarriage at 18 weeks, im still trying to deal with the loss of my baby now this.i guess its just too overwhelming
I can't help but think if that was the reason I had a miscarriage, because of HIV? Is it possible to live with this disease and still have a a normal life, will I ever have kids again?
My gynaecological just blurted it out and her words still haunt me, I didn't get any form of counselling I was just sent home.What hurts me the post ive been living such a close to perfect life and have only been involved intimately with two people in my whole life. I don't do any form of drugs.

Offline Jmarksto

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  • Posts: 513
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2014, 01:04:34 AM »
Welcome Dealing,

I am sorry for your loss - you have had to deal with quite a bit all at the same time.  With regard to the HIV, it does not have to be a death sentence and yes, you can still have kids and lead a near normal life.

Do you have friends and family to talk to?

Big hug!

JM
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45%  VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37%  VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39%   VL UD

Offline tednlou2

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Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2014, 01:22:14 AM »
Dealing,

Wanted to welcome you to the forums.  Congrats on getting through the first year in one piece.  My condolences on your miscarriage.

All the best for many more years of good health and a great life.

Ted

Offline Dealing

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2014, 11:30:25 PM »
Thanks Guys.
Im new here so I had posted on someone else's thread, it hasn't been a year though I wish it has.I was only recently diagnosed , actually the day I lost my baby.I had a miscarriage at 18 weeks so things have been a rollercoaster for me.
I haven't been to the Dr yet as im still trying to gather the courage, not only that but find one.

I tried looking for support gtoips around here but have had no luck as I see that this is eating me slowly inside.
I find myself awake at odd numbers of the night thinking of this, and on top of that I have to still deal with the loss of my baby, which I feel like is my fault.

Offline Dealing

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  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2014, 11:32:40 PM »
I was wondering how I can change this posts topic as people are getting confused,thinking iys been a year since my diagnosis.

Online pittman

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Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2014, 11:40:20 PM »
Besides your diagnoses, it's sounds like you have had a very difficult time recently and I am sad to hear that. 

It is very possible to live a normal and long life with HIV, including having a family and even children.  The most critical thing to doing that is having access to antiretroviral medicine, and taking it every day. When treated, it is a very manageable condition, though one you will always have.

The second most important thing is time. Time to adjust, time to forgive yourself, and time to move on with the rest of your life.

My own doctor travels to Africa yearly, working with local health care providers to train them on care. Here in the United States he is a teacher at a medical school as well.  While I don't know where in Africa you live, I know that there is HIV care in many areas. Don't give up, but seek out treatment options for yourself.

Online pittman

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  • Posts: 226
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2014, 11:47:39 PM »
The first thing you will need to do is confirm your diagnoses. What kind of HIV test did they do? Here in the U.S. a western blot test is used for confirmation. Other tests can give false positives.

The doctor that told you that you were HIV+ should be a good place to start if you can't find anywhere else.  Ask for where you can go see a doctor that treats HIV.

Also, do not assume HIV is related to your miscarriage. 

Offline Dealing

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2014, 11:52:00 PM »
I guess it's just one of those things you think will never happen to you, especially if you didn't live a promiscuous. Life as such, my fiance also tested positive but I feel like I can't talk to him about this, nothing has changed he doesn't treat me any differently but I just don't get how he just moved on.When we found out he told me we In this together, but how if he doesn't ever talk about it.Its like he has just blocked it.

I live in South Africa, in a town called Durban.

My overall health is fine, I feel OK but I know that usually doesn't mean much without proper labs, I guess my biggest fear is that my going to the Doctor that would mean im really positive, I dont know if that makes any sense but I guess that is just me, the Doctor will make all this a reality.*sigh*



Offline Dealing

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  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2014, 11:54:30 PM »
My gynaecologist is the one who told me about my status, they did an Elisa and confirmed with a Western Blot so im definitely positive.

Online pittman

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Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2014, 12:13:07 AM »
I think many can relate to the early stage of finding out and not wanting to deal with it.  I was very much of two minds myself.  I hated going to the doctors office, and it was a reminder I did not welcome. However, I also wanted to take care of the HIV and avoid the complications that could come of not treating it.  It took me about a year to get over the negative feelings I had going to the doctors office.

I think that we all deal with it differently, so I am not surprised that your fiancÚ does not talk about it much. Don't assume that means he is all ok with it yet.  I sometimes think that it can be a guy thing to just pretend the hard stuff away. 

Hopefully you two will be able to support each other through this.  You are far from unique in dealing with this and being in a relationship. There are many other couples, both gay and straight that have had to work through this and managed to do so.

Offline Dealing

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2014, 12:20:15 AM »
I guess im going to have to gather the strength to go.But my biggest question is should I be the one who brings it up and talk about it to him? Maybe I should be the one reaching out to him, im confused.

When we lost the baby I thought that was the hardest thing we will ever go through, oh boy was I wrong.

Online pittman

  • Member
  • Posts: 226
Re: One year since my diagnoses
« Reply #16 on: May 20, 2014, 06:38:11 AM »
I guess im going to have to gather the strength to go.But my biggest question is should I be the one who brings it up and talk about it to him? Maybe I should be the one reaching out to him, im confused.

When we lost the baby I thought that was the hardest thing we will ever go through, oh boy was I wrong.

My advice, do whatever works.  If he is open to talking about it, talk. I think that you at least would find it helpful. If he is not, then maybe set the example? Get to the doctor, and see if you can maybe go together. If nothing else, go and let him know how it went.  Has he sought treatment yet?

It is generally a slow progressing disease, but getting it under control earlier will make things so very much easier as your body will bounce back much quicker. 

 


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