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Author Topic: Working Relationship  (Read 995 times)

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Offline Live040314

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Working Relationship
« on: May 16, 2014, 07:16:27 PM »
I kind of need to let a little bit go here. On Tuesday morning I showed up at my job and as I was walking to my office I overheard a group I my coworkers talking about a recent incident that involved an assault. One of my coworkers that I've never been quite fond of made a statement about the young man that is now in the hospital in critical condition with a crushed skull and brain damage. He claimed that it was his fault that he is in this situation because because he pushed the guy that did this to him first. I had to step out of my office and make the statement that pushing someone is not a reason to bash someone's skull in and leave them lifeless in the hospital. I returned to my office. The next thing I know, this coworker was in my office had his fist wrapped and twisted around my arm and was pulling me into his face claiming that he's never fucking started a fight but that he finishes every one of them. The look in his eyes was just super crazy and he really scared the crap out of me. Not to mention the broken skin on my arm from where he grabbed me and the huge softball size blood blistery bruise I now have. Anyway, long story short, I reported him to HR and the local police department. This is the second time he has grabbed me like this, the first to tell me how much of a liberal faggot I was when I countered his redneck ass views about owning assault weapons. He has not been terminated and is currently on a leave of abscense until Monday. I really do not want to go back to work on Monday and really honestly hate working with him and the other derogatory, bigoted, racist old white men that I work with. I feel as though I can't leave though because of the insurance and paycheck that I need to survive with HIV. Just scared all around. Thinking about taking Monday off just to not be around when he returns to work, no telling what he will do to lash out at me for finally reporting him. Have any of you ever felt trapped in your own life by this virus?
4/3/14 Diagnosed
4/10/14 Initial Labs VL 12000, CD4 736 (30%)
4/27/14 Started Complera
6/10/14 VL 173, CD4 680 (34%)

Offline Dan0

  • Member
  • Posts: 510
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2014, 07:28:15 PM »
You 'reported' it - but did you DOCUMENT this?  You have to document and with specific dates/times/etc.  In my place of employment, nothing gets things jumpstarted quite as much as three little words, documented on a correspondence....

HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT

Depending on what company you work for, there are a multitude of local, state and federal laws that protect specifically against this. If nothing else, the documentation would serve you well in the event that something does happen down the road *or* the individual in question continues his aggression but in a more subtle manner with innuendos and gossip. 

The claim of the company is usually some type of plausible deniability - "I didn't know! (and if you say I DID know, then prove it!)

If you've already had a conversation with HR (and EEO if they have that type of department where you're at), then a simple, certified letter sent to them and signed for that gives a basic outline to confirm your conversation of a "hostile work environment".  I think the scientific term is getting them by their short hairs.  Don't expect them to advocate on your behalf if there is nothing in writing. They won't because most people would just hope it would blow over or you would 'work things out'.

You reported it to the police - what was the outcome of that?  Did you get a report related to this?
You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.

"Honey, you should never ask advice from a drunk drag queen who has a show to do." - JG

06/2002 DX
10/2006 Atripla UD
10/2013 Stribild Still UD

Offline Live040314

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2014, 08:09:24 PM »
It was very well documented, pictures were taken and reports filed at both my place of employment and with the local police department. The police called him and talked to him and basically admonished him for his behavior. They then informed him that if this happens again, criminal charges can be filed against him. Funny how quickly he began talking about how much I'm a pleasure to work with and how much respect for me that he had. He even went so far as to inform them that it was nothing more than a heated discussion. Are you kidding me?? There was no discussion, and he definitely doesn't actually think the things about me that he claims. The fact of the matter is that documenting this whole course of events doesn't do much good to prevent this from happening again and it WILL happen again, he is that type of person. Sadly I don't want to be around when it does, I shouldn't have to work in an environment like this. It's unbearable. Unfortunately I actually really like what I do and need the benefits like I've stated. Thanks for the reply DanO, just wish there was more I could do.
4/3/14 Diagnosed
4/10/14 Initial Labs VL 12000, CD4 736 (30%)
4/27/14 Started Complera
6/10/14 VL 173, CD4 680 (34%)

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,277
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2014, 08:21:06 PM »
Hi,

I can understand your dilemma. Hopefully your HR dept has in effect, polices, for workplace violence. Did you report this employee, the first time he grabbed you ?


I would go to work Monday, and do the job you normally do. We had strict policies in effect in the place I worked at, And anyone that initiated violence ( this includes grabbing or even touching ) toward another employee, it always ended in that employee  being terminated.

Some employers will place the individual on leave or suspension, for their actions. This is the proper first step,.. This gets them out of the physical work place,, and creates a safer environment, while on this "leave of absence", the employer, may call them at home to inform them that under the circumstances, that they are now " Terminated".  This is how my former business,
 ( Nursing Home/ Assisted living) handled workplace violence.

Make sure you document everything. If you get a chance read the following ( PDF) :
(It may open in wordpad) , you may find some additional info to help you.

http://www.asse.org/professionalsafety/docs/Worth%20Reading_Mark%20Lies%20article.pdf


Ray



« Last Edit: May 16, 2014, 08:30:10 PM by J.R.E. »
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,277
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2014, 08:28:20 PM »


You and I were also typing about the same time, So I just noticed your response that everything was documented, pictures taken and reports filed. GOOD !
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline pittman

  • Member
  • Posts: 237
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2014, 11:27:50 PM »
I would seek a restraining order.  Also, now that this has been reported(twice?!) your employer is also liable for anything else this guy may do at work, as they have the opportunity to take corrective action.

Your employer has no day in the ® legal actions you take to protect yourself from this man.  I would also start looking for another job in the meantime. an employer that does not take this type of thing seriously is not a good one to work for. This guy would have been escorted to the door at my work place the very hour it first happened if it had been in my office.

Offline Live040314

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2014, 11:42:05 PM »
Just out of curiosity, how exactly does a restraining order work. I have been thinking about it actually, the guy does scare me quite a bit now. Since my employer decided to keep him on, how would we be able to work together, not that I want to. And secondly, since my employer has already taken the road of basically defending him and allowing him to keep his job, who is to say they won't begin to look for some reason to let me go in order to satisfy the restraining order. All things that have crossed my mind and I wouldn't actually put past them. After all, I'd probably have a very difficult time proving why I was let go if I was.
4/3/14 Diagnosed
4/10/14 Initial Labs VL 12000, CD4 736 (30%)
4/27/14 Started Complera
6/10/14 VL 173, CD4 680 (34%)

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 13,206
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2014, 11:58:23 PM »
I'm so sorry this happened and there is only one thing I would add to the advice and that's not to engage this person in any unnecessary conversation . I had a hostile working environment once and couldn't just up and quit so I stuck to business until I found another job .

I do not blame you for being intimidated by the situation as we all have seen how crazy people can act in the work place on the evening news all too often . If you think he may really do you more harm than he has already I would not put myself through that stress but anything short of that I say go back to work head held high and get your work done while ignoring the jerk .

Offline Live040314

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2014, 12:14:46 AM »
Thank you Jeff. I am holding my head as high as I can. I know I did the right thing, but it's still hard. Today after work one of the ladies I work with decided to stop by and see if I was alright and talk about what happened. One thing led to another and she opened up to me about a thyroid condition she was having and the side effects of it and how it has been effecting her work and attitude and then she got on the topic of medications and in the feeling of the conversation I let slip that I also was taking expensive medications and that she'd be alright. This led to her asking what for, and she literally out of the blue asked if it was HIV, and I said yes. She simply walked up and hugged me and started crying. Since my diagnosis a little more than a month ago, she is the only person outside of my family and those very close to me that I have told. I was in shock at her reaction after I realized what I had said, I wasn't thinking when I answered. Of course now I'm worried about that information being out there at work, but at the same time, desperately needed that hug. It's been a rough month and I am forever greatful for that little snippet of raw humanity.
4/3/14 Diagnosed
4/10/14 Initial Labs VL 12000, CD4 736 (30%)
4/27/14 Started Complera
6/10/14 VL 173, CD4 680 (34%)

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2014, 12:37:14 AM »
Yes go back to work, and do not engage. How he was not fired is a mystery - perhaps you need to find out....
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Live040314

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2014, 12:48:55 AM »
Thanks Mecch. The only things I know about him are shots in the dark. I know that he makes millions at his home business, he works at where we work to pass time and utilize the phone service and internet for his business. He has been at the company 41 years. I have been there 3. And he currently has a lawyer on retainer being held in a pending case against the company for back pay that was overlooked by an accounting glitch, in case the company doesn't pony up the missed funds or tries to backtrack on paying them. Perhaps any or none of these reasons is why he was retained. I'm beside myself. And I don't think anyone has to worry, conversations aren't going to happen. If I had it my way I'd be running far, far away from him.
4/3/14 Diagnosed
4/10/14 Initial Labs VL 12000, CD4 736 (30%)
4/27/14 Started Complera
6/10/14 VL 173, CD4 680 (34%)

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2014, 12:53:40 AM »
Er. He makes millions but can afford an internet connection and phone service?  This makes no sense to me.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Live040314

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2014, 01:00:16 AM »
If you met him, you would understand. He is a farmer and has always been extremely tight when it comes to money. He used to work for a living and farm on the side. Back in the early 2000's when ethanol took off in the states he became very rich very fast. Farming isn't what it used to be. Maybe you understand why he is at work still a little more.
4/3/14 Diagnosed
4/10/14 Initial Labs VL 12000, CD4 736 (30%)
4/27/14 Started Complera
6/10/14 VL 173, CD4 680 (34%)

Offline Live040314

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Working Relationship
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2014, 01:07:24 AM »
And the internet/phone comment was a little tongue in cheek. I Don't know why he is still working here. It seems he comes in and all he does is track corn and soybean prices and discuss farming stuff on the phone. This too makes me wonder why he's still around. I think he must have some things in hiding against people.
4/3/14 Diagnosed
4/10/14 Initial Labs VL 12000, CD4 736 (30%)
4/27/14 Started Complera
6/10/14 VL 173, CD4 680 (34%)

 


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