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Author Topic: Is This Really A Wash?  (Read 4903 times)

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Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #50 on: June 28, 2014, 02:31:05 AM »
Your anxiety about side-effects seems excessive, imo.

I suppose this comment might not be constructive: I believe that too much anxiety about HIV and HIV meds is one possible reason people can have a few side effects, and/or be quite distracted by any. I guess that may not be helpful because I am sort adding anxiety about being anxious....    But, I don't think you should torture yourself by looking at them, letting the anxiety build and build.  At this point my guess is the best action is for you to start today and be done with it already.  You are ONLY going to adjust to it when you are on it.  Start already and think about something else and put your mind in a good place for a wonderful summer.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2014, 02:40:39 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #51 on: June 28, 2014, 08:16:23 AM »
Hi Ted . I see you are making progress . A few days on meds and you will see the only thing that's changed in your life is the 30 seconds it takes to swallow a pill or two, the other thing you will notice in short order is that you will now have a piece of mind that comes with being on treatment that will help keep you healthy for the rest of your life .

Offline leatherman

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #52 on: June 28, 2014, 10:26:30 AM »
are you working this weekend?
if not, start NOW.  ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #53 on: June 28, 2014, 10:32:29 AM »

Offline bocker3

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #54 on: June 28, 2014, 11:27:08 AM »
Here ya go Ted . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrnoR9cBP3o

That will work Ted -- have Brian serenade you with this while you swallow your first pill.  Ahhhh...  what a romantic scene......

Seriously, I am happy that you are taking these steps, but trust me (and all the others who have said it), staring at the bottle and projecting what it "might" be like is far worse than taking them.  You will look back at this, some day, and say, "Why did I make it into such a big deal".

Keep moving forward -- and PICK UP THE PACE.   ;)

M
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline vertigo

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #55 on: June 28, 2014, 02:45:53 PM »
Congrats on finally picking a med and filling the rx.  I know those are big steps for you.

Waiting a few days to get started does allow you to build up a little pill buffer, but in your case I worry this could also be another procrastination enabler.

So mark a hard date on the calendar (1st of the month?) and then stick to it.  You'll find it's as easy as taking a vitamin.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #56 on: June 28, 2014, 02:56:04 PM »
We are giving Ted 1 more week then we will march into his hometown and onto his front lawn with megaphones and have a save Teddy rally .

There will be a bio-hazard face painting booth and the traditional aidsy games of protease inhibitor rely races and three legged lipo races .   

Offline zach

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #57 on: July 03, 2014, 03:39:38 PM »
tomorrow, july 4, your freedom. how's brian? is he out for summer? hmm?

waiting with a baseball bat and a good ol can o' crisco  :o

Offline bocker3

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #58 on: July 09, 2014, 06:28:07 PM »
The Stribild is in house.  Picking it up seemed so unreal.  Brian said to just look at it like I was picking up blood pressure meds.  Btw, Brian is a teacher, and is a volunteer firefighter.  He's actually a lieutenant now.  He is also the trainer for the new recruits. 

So, I am looking at the meds every day now.  I plan to start here in the next week or two.  Well, sometime within the next couple weeks.  That could be tomorrow.  We will see.  Brian would like to go somewhere this summer.  I would want to be on meds for a while, before heading off on a trip.  That may just require a week, to know whether I'm going to have the Hershey squirts and nausea.

So.....  has the Stribild made it into your body yet??  You can do this -- thousands upon thousand of people already have.
Plus, you know that Zach is itching to get his bat in action.....

M
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #59 on: July 10, 2014, 01:33:17 AM »
I have gone past my start date, by three days.  My anxiety has been getting the better of me.  But, I am tired of living in fear.  I know I need to start-- not just to fight the virus, but to start fighting depression and anxiety. 

Offline mecch

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #60 on: July 10, 2014, 04:33:22 AM »
Get some anxiety pills.
Also are you in therapy for anxiety/depression? If not, its time to try that.
You are allowing yourself entirely too much will over this self-destructive avoidance. 
Really some things in life one just does without over thinking just because the thing is necessary, and either helpful, or the less of two negatives... 
Taking this medicine is helpful.  Even if you consider it a negative, not taking the medicine is a worse negative.  (and avoiding the whole thing, is eventually defacto "NOT TAKING" and also avoidance is mentally corrosive.)  Voila.  It really comes down to that.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2014, 04:38:24 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #61 on: July 10, 2014, 04:39:38 AM »
a couple days of lorazepam might just decrease the anxiety enough that you can act.  maybe in one day of it.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #62 on: July 10, 2014, 10:08:24 AM »
Ted in your mind you are building up this to be something much bigger than it actually is.  It's like jumping into a pool...you expect the water to be harsh and right up until the very moment you are under it, it is.  Time to jump.  You are expecting side effects, there might not be any at all.  Life may just continue unabated.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #63 on: July 10, 2014, 10:19:27 AM »
Trey is correct ... but without the shrinkage . All the cool kids are on treatments ya know . 

Offline zach

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #64 on: July 10, 2014, 04:24:14 PM »
tonight, now, do it

Offline mitch777

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #65 on: July 10, 2014, 05:10:01 PM »
Ted,

Please take your medicine. Take it with a spoonful of sugar if you have to.

Mark
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #66 on: July 11, 2014, 01:29:28 AM »
I have hit the reset button.  I think I will have to video me taking my first dose, in order for people to believe it.  I felt I was in a good place and looking forward to starting.  Then, bad anxiety hit.  It has been so bad-- bp jumping to 150/85, when it is normally 106/70.  Chest pains and palpitations.  My legs have been aching so bad.  If it isn't some disc issue, then I'm sure it is the anxiety, which causes me to tense my muscles so bad.

I'm now four days past my start date.  I know I will get on with it.


Offline zach

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #67 on: July 11, 2014, 04:54:21 AM »
Hit the reset button? C'mon man, seriously, what does that mean? You're way past four days beyond whatever rationalization you're using to not take your meds. You've been dragging ass on this since early May.  :-*

Offline mecch

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #68 on: July 11, 2014, 05:00:01 AM »
I am sorry to hear how you suffer about this.
My recommendation of anti-anxiety medication wasn't flippant. A few day of pills might be the thing that helps you over the hurdle.  A few days of pills is not going to hurt you or addict you.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2014, 05:02:05 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline bocker3

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #69 on: July 11, 2014, 07:59:39 AM »
Ted,

You seriously need to figure this out. 

I have never had to deal with severe anxiety, but my sense is your anxiety is getting worse because of the NEVER-ENDING ANTICIPATION OF TAKING THE HIV MEDS.  I am not trying to minimize your anxiety, but your constant rationalization and delay here is likely not helping in any way.  Meanwhile - the virus continues to have a field day throughout your body.

do you have a therapist?  If so, can you make an appointment and take the first pill with him/her present to help you through this first step??  How can Brian help you here - I'm assuming that he wants you to get started on these life-saving meds too.  You need to get help in getting over this hump -- we are all trying, we are all examples of the power of these meds, we are all living our lives fairly well while on them, but we aren't there and can only help with typed words.  YOU MUST TAKE ACTION.
Seriously, you are only hurting yourself.  Again, I have no personal experience with severe anxiety, but I did take Ativan the 1st week of taking my HIV meds - at my doctor's suggestion.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - reach out to someone you trust and set a day, time and place to take your meds with them present (ideally a mental health professional - with Brian, if his presence would be helpful too).  Do it NOW and schedule it for the next available appointment -- be clear why you want to come in, this might allow them to find an earlier appt. for you.

JUST DO IT

M
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline zach

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #70 on: July 12, 2014, 06:26:20 PM »
http://destiny.ponderosa121.com/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=1587

i'm gonna take those pink panties off you and make you love your meds
« Last Edit: July 12, 2014, 06:30:09 PM by zach »

Offline newt

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Re: Is This Really A Wash?
« Reply #71 on: July 15, 2014, 06:56:51 PM »
Quote
Meanwhile - the virus continues to have a field day throughout your body.

Or perhaps not, given that all the long term studies show the risk of illness or death is fractionally or not at all higher than non-HIV folk if your CD4 count is 350+.

Time taken to resolve medication anxiety is worthwhile, and I believe this includes bottoming out the right combo, the technical examination of which meds can help resolution of the anxiety. So, even tho the pills are stashed, perhaps session to revisit the why and what to treat with will lead to an anxiety free starting date (without a calendar) when the conversation is concluded. I believe this should include med interactions, since they seem important here. There's no point having a deadline you will miss, and high blood pressure as a consequence of anxiety about meds is prob worse in the short term than HIV.

- matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

 


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