Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Mental Health & HIV

I'm A Complete Mess, Feeling Hopeless

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I don't even know what's the point anymore. I've gone on dozens of interviews in the last two years & I never get a job. I am struggling with anxiety, depression, & bipolar. Now I am on my last few meds & in like two days I run out. And my psychiatrist won't even return my calls. I went on another interview today & it seemed like the guy was just going through the motions & that he already had his mind made up before it even started. So why even waste my time & get my hopes up? I hate how I look & don't like myself at all I wish I was hot then maybe I could get a job & nobody cares sometimes I feel like just killing myself.

Nobody cares I've gone to staffing agencies, & other job interviews & it's always the same lame excuses either lack of work experience or something else. I am openly gay so maybe that's it but it's not like I'm very feminine or flamy. I am having suicidal thoughts over this my whole family has already pretty much abandoned me they are super religious & don't accept me being gay so I have no support system.

I'm 32 years old & have never had a real job. In the past I had major manic episodes which caused me to be hospitalized but then the meds helped somewhat but now I'm almost out of my meds & this interview today was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I don't get it I am pleasant, nice, disarming, & conversational during interviews. It's ruining my life I don't know what I'll do when I run out of meds this weekend or don't get a job soon. I'm really feeling a complete wreck 

Jeff G:
Robby ... have you considered Atripla may be in part fueling your feelings of hopelessness ?

Miss Philicia:
Robby, instead of waiting for a call back from your psychiatrist I would advise just going in as a walk in if your situation is this critical. You're bipolar and you don't want to mess around with things if for some reason whatever meds you are currently prescribed are not working. I've seen this happen to friends and it rarely ends well if they wait around.

If you are not working this afternoon and have the time then that's my advice -- either that or an ER visit.

What meds are you on, and aside from getting prescriptions with what frequency are you having one-on-one for these other non-bipolar type social/mental health issues?

edit: agree with Jeff -- it's negligent of your HIV doctor IMO to have you on Atripla

Job market has always been tough.

You can always get a new psychiatrist.

Preparing for a job interview takes a lot of time and effort.
What type of job are you looking for?

Most employers in the everyday job market aren't looking to discuss sexual orientation.

They want to know why they should pay you all this money?
You are the one taking up their time for the opportunity to possibly work for them...So you really need to sell yourself in the few minutes you have in the interview you were able to land.

It's not about being "hot" ...but your personal attitude and reflection of yourself might play a negative role in your interviews.

Headhunters just suck most of the time.  If you are interviewing at a place where they just try to find you a job...those almost never pan out unless you have tons of experience.

You need to psch yourself up, prepare as much as you can, and go into the interview saying...I'm going to nail this.  I'm going to sell myself and be the best.  I'm worth a lot and reflect that you are hard worker with time and ability to really add to someones business in a positive way.

Preparation and attitude is everything for job interviews.

Keep your head up, its just a sucks. 

Mental and Physical health first.

I just don't even feel like bothering I think I'm going to the liquor store  maybe I'll just pass out so I won't feel this pain anymore. I don't know what the hell Atripla has to do with anything it's the only med I've been on & it's not even a psych med.

It's easy for people who have jobs to pass judgment on those who don't I'm not lazy & I am willing to work so I hate when my psychiatrist acts like I shouldn't be on the Affordable Care Act well excuse me what am I supposed to do pay 300 dollars for private insurance which I don't have? I wish I was some strapping hot guy instead of an ugly tall slim dude maybe then I'd get a job. I'm just sick of going to interviews & trying my best & then feeling like I'm just there as a waste of time I wish someone would just give me a chance & hire me all I want is a regular job so I can prove myself.

And I can't go anywhere as a walk in my psychiatrist is not in the office all weekend. So I may just get some bourbon & maybe I'll pass out. I don't want to be in pain anymore I'm tired of fake ass people who say they'll help you out & then never show up or care when I'm going through a rough time.

I've been taking Paxil Latuda & Xanax but I hate Paxil & the Latuda samples are almost out & my psychiatrist won't return my calls so yeah I don't know what there is to do.


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