Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 22, 2014, 06:52:09 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 635581
  • Total Topics: 48218
  • Online Today: 214
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Worst Birthday Ever  (Read 2252 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline BF428

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Worst Birthday Ever
« on: May 17, 2014, 08:08:14 PM »
I was seeing this guy for a while and everything seemed to work great, one sorta drunken night and a broken condom later he suddenly stopped talking to me. Turns out he wasn't entirely truthful and didn't get tested on the regular like I do- a few weeks later he tells me he's positive. Two weeks after that, I got intensely sick on what other day than my 27th birthday. The day after I went and got tested after reading all the potential signs... a week later it came back positive.

In that instant as I sit across from the counselor who told me my results the air rushed out of the room. I felt like my world had ended. Happy birthday to me right?

Though I guess I am lucky he said, I live in Los Angeles and the amount of doctors, support and understanding he said was incredible. He pointed me to a doctor and made sure I make it to my appointment calling me and reminding me. So now I felt a little better. The only thing is now I feel ashamed and scared- I just wanted to have a better life and instead I got this huge setback.

I am still trying to process this- I don't think it has hit me fully. I have talked to a few friends and one family member and theyve all been supportive, but anything more I have been alone. How long will it take or what do people recommend in understanding and dealing with this?

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,343
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2014, 09:44:10 PM »
Hi BF

Welcome. There will be others who stop by to post. The good news as to their whereabouts ? Many of us are busy with lives we didn't think we'd have at all or lives which, over time, were restored or simply became livable again.

I note that to assure you that no matter how long your process of adjustment is, you will adjust.  While you've been told you 're lucky to be in LA, I think your greatest luck is in having family and friends you could trust to tell.

Well, I'm watching Dateline and it's taking me a long while to post this. You've found a great resource in this site for facts, feelings and even fun.

Em

Offline JosephP

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • Brother, I am getting old!!
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2014, 10:58:22 PM »
BF... I am much older than you and although I got diagnosed 6 months go, I still feel very scared! It has gotten easier but still is hard to deal with... There are great people here that are ready to lend a hand...They have helped me a lot! Good Luck... We are in this together!!
Keep looking forward!

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,605
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2014, 11:40:53 PM »
Nobody can tell you how long it will take you to adjust, because being poz is a marathon, not a race.  You have a lot to process right now, so just allow yourself to feel, whatever it is you feel, without the need to do anything about any of it.  Go easy on yourself and just take your time.  This is big news and a life altering event and it takes time for it all to begin to make sense... it does get better, I promise.

I just wanted to welcome you to the forums and I've been poz for 30 years.  This will change your life, but not derail it.  Take your time, go slow and come here whenever you feel the need.  You will be fine... all it takes is time.

Welcome to the forums,

Joe

Offline zach

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,345
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2014, 12:39:16 AM »
i'm coming up on four years in so far, two major health battles with it. i'm only just starting to feel like i'm getting in front of it. i think its just a process. its a hell of a storm, but its passable. like the cheesy youtube thing (that made me cry)

it gets better. sometimes its a fight, sometimes its a like lousy roommate. eventually its just part of you, like any other flaw. we all have them, one of mine happens to be hiv

just hold on to the idea that no matter what you face, you'll face it down

everytime... thats two words? every time. huh

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,438
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2014, 04:09:27 AM »
Sorry for that cadeaux empoisonné  :(
Welcome here.
What Killfolie said - it becomes mundane in fits and starts.  I bet you will have a shift after you see your specialist and know your labs.  Another shift is when you start meds. I think the best things for me was the doctor telling me medical science was great and I would be OK and fine even, normal life, blah blah. And telling all my friends (but no one professionally) and talking about it now and then for 6 months and then it just faded into another piece of info, not particularly pressing in a social context.
Just go though your normal life, work and home life and wait long enough and then you'll be there.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2014, 04:18:25 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline BF428

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2014, 03:27:25 PM »
I really appreciate the support, im just new to this and i keep thinking in my head "why me" and especially after all the crap i have dealt with since i turned 18, i think... why now, and whats next?

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,438
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2014, 04:59:10 PM »
Just bad luck the way you report it. Its a virus.  There is no why, really.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Dan0

  • Member
  • Posts: 387
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2014, 07:25:57 PM »
Unless there is a thread commenting on years, months and dates of a diagnosis, I don't even think about it...after 13 years that's where I'm at. I can't even with any type of certainty name what day it was or even month...it's be so long that it is much of a non-issue in the big scheme of things.  It just "is". I remember the conversation with the tech, counselor or whatever he was, the location, but that's about it. In fact, I sometimes (almost all the time) have to do the math to figure out how long it HAS been. That's the result of longevity and with the medications and advances, that's what you have in front of you...longevity.

You, too, will get there and probably sooner than you think. Hopefully, your next birthday will be filled with happiness and adventure and this will be nothing more than a footnote.
You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.

"Honey, you should never ask advice from a drunk drag queen who has a show to do." - JG

06/2002 DX
10/2006 Atripla UD
10/2013 Stribild Still UD

Offline SMARTCHICK

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Worst Birthday Ever
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2014, 12:44:26 AM »
I was diagnosed on June 6 - 3 days before my 29th birthday. I spent my birthday weekend having a mental breakdown - crying hysterically and hanging on to life (negotiating suicide with myself after killing the guy who infected me). To make matters worse - the guy who infected me spent the weekend with me (he was my boyfriend at the time) and wouldn't leave cause he was too scared of what i might do to myself.

I literally broke. A part of my spirit has never returned. So for the past two birthdays - i am reminded of my break down once learning of my status.

It has gotten easier and I'm not as broken. I can look in the mirror now without thinking - eww you are a walking infection. you are an infectious disease.

My advice - pray. pray. pray.

God bless you on this journey.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.