Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 03, 2016, 02:24:35 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Members: 29652
  • Latest: chill
  • Total Posts: 704341
  • Total Topics: 56053
  • Online Today: 217
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 171
Total: 173


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Herman needs your support  (Read 3715 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Dan J.

  • Guest
Herman needs your support
« on: November 02, 2006, 12:46:28 PM »
Regardless of what your feelings for me may be I am asking for your support for our Dear Hermie. He is going through a very difficult time at the moment and needs all the support he can get. He is very depressed now. The business has NOT been sold. He was informed that an offer would be on the table as of Oct 31st. There isn't one... I have seen him depressed in the past, but this time it is the worst yet. I feel helpless here by myself 6000 miles away from him. He probably won't like the fact that I have posted this on the forum, but I did it anyway. 


Thank you,

Dan J.


Offline MSPspud

  • Member
  • Posts: 613
  • Joined Mar 2005 - Formerly UofMurbs
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2006, 12:53:45 PM »
Hang in there, Herman.  Little ever happens as quickly or as smoothly as we'd like.  You'll eventually get to where you want to be w/ persistence and a positive attitude.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2006, 12:55:20 PM by MSPspud »

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2006, 12:57:42 PM »
Herman, there's not a lot I can do over here to help you.  You'll be in our thoughts, though.  Take care.

Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2006, 01:33:10 PM »

I can understand your frustration over Herman's situation, but the reality is there isn't anything you can really do.  Nothing except to offer emotional support that is.

So please don't let Herman's difficulties take their toll on you also.  That won't do either of you any good.


The entire situation has been going on for far too long.  By my count this is the 3rd or 4th time we've seen this exact same scenario play out regarding the sale of your business.  Either the offers you are waiting for (expecting) are unrealistic or the potential buyers just don't have the finances to actualy complete the transaction.  Maybe the business is overpriced, maybe the business is a white elephant.  Without knowing the specific financial details it's impossible to come to any honest judgement.

However, considering the emotional toll these repeating cycles are taking on you, maybe the best thing you could do for your own mental health is to just lock the doors and walk away.  I know how impossible that may seem but at some point you have to make a value judgement here.  Is selling the business worth the price you are paying in your emotional health?  Seems to me, as long as this has been going on, that it might be time to re-examine that and consider doing what's truly best for Herman. 


Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2006, 02:00:53 PM »
Hermie, you know how to get in touch with me.


Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,434
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2006, 02:08:01 PM »
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 08:04:44 PM by Iggy »

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2006, 02:19:51 PM »
Hi Herman,
Sending you good thoughts and prayers that things work out for the best. When things are bad, take one hour, one day at a time and be strong.

Big hugs,
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,658
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2006, 02:29:14 PM »

    Amor est vitae essentia


Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2006, 03:03:00 PM »
I love you Hermie. You know that. I am sending positive thoughts, and karma your way.
Hang in there baby, we're all rooting for you.  :-*
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2006, 03:37:25 PM »
I think Rocky has a good point here.  The last update I saw was that in August the deal was about to get signed (finalized).  But then the signing was delayed.  What confuses me is why there is no offer on the table.  You can't be to the point of signing a deal, unless there is (was) an offer on the table and substantial negotiations have been completed.  And it seems like if there have been several attempts to finalize a deal, but they all seem to fall through at the last moment, then the prudent thing to do is to lower the price of the business or otherwise do something to entice a buying to close the deal.

I'm not sure what's going on but clearly if all the buyers keep running away at the last minute, then there is a significant issue with the business that needs to be addressed before putting it back on the market.


Offline cmhjeff

  • Member
  • Posts: 870
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2006, 03:55:27 PM »
You posted it because you care about him and I'm sure he'll understand.

Sending you some positive energy from the Buckeye state of Ohio. Hope everything settles soon for you.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2006, 10:37:24 PM »

I know this sucks about the business, but this isn't the end of possibilities with potential deals.  I hope something comes through soon though.

Hey Iggy,

You have an amazing spark with your perspective. "This isn't the end of possibilities". You are so RIGHT!!!


Just a short few years ago, I lost my ass on a very lucrative business deal that would have set me and my family up for life. I understand what you are going through. Reach inside of YOU and grab the "positives" and release the "negatives" and eventually what you seek shall come to YOU.

Control the factors that you can, and the ones that you cannot...accept it. Have you considered owner financing? Something like a modest 20% Down and a balloon loan for the investor over a (5) five year period?

When buying or selling a business there are many roads/alternatives that you can use in order to make it possible. Have you considered talking to the competition in your area? Make a list of HOW this can be approached from different angles.

I am sending you my BEST wishes and "positive energy" your way along with my prayers.

Make the BEST of each and every Day!

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,512
  • 31 years positive, 59 years a pain in the butt
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2006, 11:10:59 PM »
Hey Hermie,

Hang in there. Know that I will have you in my thoughts and will focus some positive energy your way.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2006, 07:32:02 AM »
You are one of the best human beings I know. Period. Try not to get too down! I wish you the very best my dear, sweet friend. Hang in there, and be strong. You can do it!
Love Ya,
Positive since 1985

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,126
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2006, 07:34:02 AM »
My dearest family and sweet sweet Dan,

Thank you so much. I needed to feel that warmth. Thank you for the advice as well.
I will try to explain a bit.

I started the business 6 years ago with Patrick. We did not purchase the building.
I invested the money that my insurance paid me, for loosing my licence to fly, that is.
It was close to US $ 150.000 .
So, in the beginning I had a dutch partner/investor. That did not work out and I took over his shares after a harsh battle in court for another US $ 125.000.
That put a hard financial burden on the business, but it had to be done. And I loved my business.
We brought it to a profitable level in 2004 and were on the way to become really profitable when I got sick in spring 2005.
Needless to say that my disappearance form the club left his marks. Figures went down and upon my return in October last year they had been halved.
We worked very very hard to rebuild the clientele, but after a couple of months is was clear to me that the damage had been done.
Somebody had spread the rumour that I had AIDS. And the downward spiral continued.

The big fitness chains look for property, so they are not interested. Second point is that there are many more clubs for sale at the moment. The best selling point is my location in a resort for the rich and famous.
BUT, I have seen how difficult it is to really SIGN the deal.
My price is so low already that I will have lost my intire investment, meaning US  $ 150.000.
Bad luck you could think. Yes it hurts when you see your savings go down the drain.

So, it is no matter of price no more.
In about 1 month I will have to declare bankruptcy and I have been placed under chapter eleven as from Nov 22ND.

Maybe you understand better what causes my depression now.
It is just bad luck , in combination with a very bad economical situation.

Believe me; I want to sell, and FAST. This has nothing to do with the business being priced too high.

I will survive, as I have survived 20 years of HIV.
And I am proud I took the risk and made this club mine and a success......... until I got sick.

Maybe soon, I will announce that the burden has been lifted from our shoulders and I have been set free to live again.
No savings, no house, and n o succes story to tell. But with my head high up.. I tried at least and showed people that HIV doesn't stop you from being a hardworking entrepreneur.

Thank you , all of you, for your support.
It feels good in the desert of emotionless emotions.

Thank you Dan baby. You are such a caring, loving person.

Hermie  :(
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Kivexa (Epzicom),Tivicay once daily.

Switching to Viramune, Isentress and Emtriva

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #15 on: November 03, 2006, 07:44:53 AM »
I know how you feel. I lost my life savings two years ago. I was ripped off in a real estate deal for a cool 30,000. My fault, my responsibility. I picked myself up off the floor. It still pains me to this day. But you just have to move on. It can be done. Just pick yourself up, because as much as many of us would like to, we can't do it for you.
I am back owning a house after two years of anger and depression. It is in the past. And the future is bright. I got my credit back, and I'm back on the beam. I know you can do it too. Things happen for a reason.  I know you can do it, and clearly, you have a slew of support!
You are a great man.
Much Love,
Positive since 1985

Offline Biggums

  • Member
  • Posts: 199
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #16 on: November 03, 2006, 08:29:43 AM »

If  "what goes around comes around" is true, I am certain all of this will end up somehow being a blessing to you as you have blessed so many other lives.  Hang in there my friend.
44 year old gay man .......just broke up with the only man I've ever really loved.

You can love completely without complete understanding.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,264
  • Ninja Please
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #17 on: November 03, 2006, 08:38:56 AM »

If you need to speak to me, I can always be found. Should you need to speak with Bucko, I can raise him.

You have only but to ask.


Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,919
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #18 on: November 03, 2006, 09:18:05 AM »
Dearest Herm...How stressful for you to go through all this anxiety regarding your business...I hope against hope it all gets resolved real soon and you get much of what you want at the very least and can put this behind you and be happy Hermie again.

Jody  ;)
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline cjc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #19 on: November 03, 2006, 09:30:09 AM »
It  is frustrating when you want good things to happen for those we love but for both of youHerman and Dan , hang in there it will get better.  Cristy

Offline cmhjeff

  • Member
  • Posts: 870
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #20 on: November 03, 2006, 09:57:14 AM »
I had no idea thanks for sharing. Your honesty and trust in all of us speaks wonders for these forums and the feeling of family so many of us have found here. I can feel your passion for the business and I'm sorry you're going through all this now. I haven't been in your shoes so I can't give sound advice but I will keep you in my thoughts and hope everything works out very soon for you.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #21 on: November 03, 2006, 10:37:01 AM »

I love you honey.   This makes me sad and angry, at the same time.   This damned virus has stolen so much from us already!   I am tired of it, and I know you are too.

You are a hero Herman, stay strong my friend.


"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Herman needs your support
« Reply #22 on: November 05, 2006, 01:17:41 AM »
Unfortunately I do not have any advice that I can offer, but I understand how stressing it cud b in selling something. I do not have any property to sell, but during the summer, my bf was having trouble in selling one of his SoBe condos. Eventually it worked out and I hope that u will sell ur property ie business as well.
Things will work out. U just have to give it time. I understand how depressing the loss of savings can b, I have lost mine even b4 I was diagnosed pos.
I had to take whatever job that I can get to get me back in accumulating my savings. I am sure things will turn around for u.
Don't ever lose hope, as that is all ppl have at times. I am glad some1 posted this, as it shows how much they care.
Keep ur chin up. Things will improve. U have been thru a lot worse, as I can imagine.


Current meds: Truvada/Sustiva
VL: undetectable
CD4: 564

Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2016 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.