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Author Topic: baptism  (Read 103 times)

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Offline em

  • Member
  • Posts: 110
« on: Yesterday at 09:54:18 AM »
baptism of a  near dying experience

baptizing by dunking under water to show your faith and trust in god and with the children of god. baptism by fire is putting someone under extreamly stress filled  situation for the out come of inspiring and thus building a strong character. example military combat turns soldiers from lambs into lions ? just an idealized educated guess some romantized  non combatant came up with ?  wether not an out of control violent short tempered post traumatic stress ( soldier that had spent to long in combat  )  is a good thing or not lets just say the jury is still out on this one two sides of the same coin I guess ? like everyday you live is day closer to the day you die. time is limited for the living, other side of the coin or conclusion ;  live each day to the fullest.; because they are in limited supply ? HIV or not

baptism by aids

having a high fever and being turned away from the local hospital that I was told by the ER doc they did not have an out patient hiv clinic
or did they admit hiv patients my own conclusion. I was told by someone who worked at that hospital that the hospital pharmacy did not stock HIV meds? non zero zip ? and any hiv positive patients were refered to hospic ? ( the last part I made up. I would think that would be the only recourse to anyone seeking help from this hospital ?  my self I went to another hospital about an hour and half away by high way . they admitted me and I started to throw up bile the ER person admitting me said " If you have been drinking you are going to be in alot of trouble" she had taken my temp an it was about 104 if I recall correctly after all this was in 1995 or there about

they put me on a cool down mat this rubber sheet with tubes of cold water running through it . then I recall crying when the nurse turned me on my side to wipe my rear end after crapping the bed. a slang term I once heard for dying . anyway the nurse said it is alright. I was also crying because my hand was right in front of me and I could not move it 

I spent what felt like days in bed propped up only being able to move my eyes. Then after what seemed like forever I got up stretched and asked the nurse sitting at the end of the bed were is the rest room I had to pee? the nurse I guess was on death watch waiting for my last breath her eyes got as big as frying pans. she did not say a word just pointed . 

anyway just another episode in a life lived with hiv

barbarized by suffering

just something I thought worth sharing


Offline em

  • Member
  • Posts: 110
Re: baptism
« Reply #1 on: Yesterday at 05:04:48 PM »
how are things now?

my mind is shot, short term memory gone.

I have kidney stones from norvir one kidney is not functioning anymore well they said it was 15% functional but at least the other one is still functioning normally so far. they found other stones in the kidneys through ultra sound

the sustiva wakes me up in the middle of the night like someone  kicked me in my stomach

the reytaz and abacavir well hope fully they doing more good then harm I hope

I also wake up alot do to my hands going numb. not my fingers just the center part of my hands. when I ask about it they ask how are my feet. numb feet is a sign of diabetes and neuropathy they are used to seeing. with me anyway it is my hands that I have the problem with.

My ID doc stopped the norvir and upped the reytaz. my next appointment is in July. hope fully my viral load will still be undetectable but only time will tell if the norvir was the only antiviral that was working. I have  been on norvir for almost twenty years or so.

I have been on reytaz abacavir sustiva and norvir for the better part of twenty years and been undetectable for most of that time

now that there might be cure at anytime at least I hope so a cure does  look promising.
 no one will know or care about this information anymore after that

like my old gym teacher who had this arm that just hung of his body from a polio infection he had as a child. everyone was just glad polio was a thing of the past just like some day so will this  be.

I keep thinking of this old episode of 21 jump street I had seen some where around 1985. were they tell the story of HIV through johnny depps character johnny depp meets someone who is HIV+. Then at the end of the episode it shows an old johnny depp talking to a reporter in his apartment. He says at the end of the interview it was a good thing we found a cure. some were some time hopefully  that will come true I just hope I live to see it .

all my best to you



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