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Author Topic: Reckless and foolish decisions  (Read 862 times)

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Offline somerecklessness

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Reckless and foolish decisions
« on: March 09, 2014, 08:18:24 AM »
Went for a free STI test last week, and am waiting for my results (which should be out this upcoming weekend)! But the anxiety is really killing me.
Here's the incident that I'm worried about:

I engaged in an incident of mutual unprotected oral sex for a couple minutes early last June , 2013, and, due to a perhaps naive faith in my one-night partner's proclaimed negative status, and an arrogant confidence in the "safety" of my actions, I never bothered to look into the real risks of unprotected oral until now.

This incident was borne out of experimentation, and I wasn't really into it. Neither was he, we were  both flaccid. Due to the lack of erections, I am unsure of any fluid exchange. I know I did not ejaculate, and he claims he didn't either. My dental hygiene is decent right now, brushing twice a day, but I have had many bouts of gingivitis in the past.

He claims that he tested negative approximately half a year ago, which would set his "test" at about September (so about 3 months, hopefully). I have no way of absolutely confirming that at this point, I have his number, but I'm getting the vibe that I'm bugging him into my own hypochondriac paranoia .

I have no real reason to question him, but the foolishness of hooking up with a relative stranger is really killing my mind.

This is my first, and only, incident, and as a result I'm scarred senseless. Should I be worried, and does anyone have advice on how to get this out of my head for the next week so I can focus on studying?

Online Jeff G

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Re: Reckless and foolish decisions
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2014, 09:40:34 AM »
You can relax because you did not have a risk for HIV . Your saliva contains enzymes and proteins that damage HIV so badly it renders it unable to infect .

There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex. These studies yielded NO infections.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Offline somerecklessness

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Re: Reckless and foolish decisions
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2014, 02:44:32 PM »
Thanks Jeff! That goes a long way towards allaying my fears.

Did these studies test for homosexual couples as well, and what factors associated with saliva in oral sex make it such an unlikely route of HIV infection? Specifically, what enzymes? I'm hanging onto the hope that the flaccidity and presumed lack of precum/cum reduced my miniscule, lightning-strike chances even further.

I'm aware of the conflicting information around the web, and the "cover your ass" stance a lot of practitioners/organizations have regarding this disease, so the more specific, scientific information I can read about, the quicker I can allay my fears :)

Online Jeff G

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Re: Reckless and foolish decisions
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2014, 09:23:42 AM »
It does not matter Gay of straight . A Gay blowjob is the same as a straight blowjob, only better LOL .  ;) .

You really can relax because you did not have a risk for HIV in this instance . 

Offline Ann

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Re: Reckless and foolish decisions
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2014, 09:25:51 AM »
Some,

Whether or not a person is gay has no bearing on the facts that: 1. Saliva is not infectious and; 2. Saliva contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

You don't need to know the names of the specific enzymes. All you need to realise is that the mouth is an extremely inhospitable place for hiv and not only that, but hiv can only latch onto and infect a very few, very specific types of cells and these cells are NOT found in abundance in the mouth.

At the end of the day, if you cannot bring yourself to believe us when we tell you that you had no risk, go test and collect your negative result. As a sexually active adult you should be having regular, routine sexual health check ups anyway. It's what responsible people do to look after and maintain their health. It's no different to going for regular, routine dental check ups. You might not have a toothache, and you might brush your teeth daily, but you still go see your dentist regularly.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline somerecklessness

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Re: Reckless and foolish decisions
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2014, 10:16:09 AM »
Alright, thanks Ann! I guess this will be my final post if all goes well, I'm just waiting on the results from a free STI clinic thing at my school that I attended last week, which should be out....this Saturday. Any tips on dealing with the anxiety until then?
 
Strangely enough, I've actually been glad to be busy with schoolwork...it does take ones mind off the anxiety (and has curbed my incessant googling of risks).

Oh, and, just for clarification, whether the person is being fellated, or is the one doing the fellating, has no bearing on the "no risk" factor? I was more concerned about me fellating him, if that helps clarify the situation.

And thanks for the speedy replies! Colour me impressed!

Offline Ann

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Re: Reckless and foolish decisions
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2014, 11:43:55 AM »

Any tips on dealing with the anxiety until then?


Just keep busy with other things, and don't google hiv, and the time will go quicker than you might imagine.

I understand exactly what you're worrying about and your risk assessment remains the same.

The only time giving blowjobs might be a concern is if you have terrible oral health and the guy you blow is unwittingly very newly infected with a correspondingly extremely high viral load.

By terrible oral health I don't mean "gee, my gums bleed a bit when I brush my teeth", I mean terrible as in something like "meth mouth" where people's gums are severely diseased with huge infected sores and the like. If your oral/dental health is normal, you don't need to be worrying about oral. Oral transmission is exceedingly rare, if it happens at all.

You need to keep in mind that there are other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs out there and some of them can be transmitted through oral sex, such as gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes. If you like giving blowjobs, your routine sexual health check ups should include an oral swab to look for gonorrhea, and your check ups should also always include blood tests for syphilis. These STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the ONLY way to know your STI status is to test for them all, at least once a year or more often, depending on how sexually active you are.

Don't sweat the results of your hiv test. Unless you've been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse you neglected to mention, there's no doubt in my mind that your result will be a big fat negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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