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Author Topic: SEX  (Read 2946 times)

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Offline kellybryana

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  • Posts: 98
« on: November 17, 2014, 05:58:10 PM »
Hello Ladies. I recently started seeing someone who is negative, and I like him a lot. Like A LOT a lot. This is the first time I've felt that this is worth my time and energy to invest long term. We spend a ton of time together, and we are extremely physically attracted to one another (he tells me he is, and I certainly know I am), but he is hesitant when it comes to sex.

We have actually had sex a few times, but I can tell he is holding back. I brought it up to him, and he admitted that he is nervous so I suggested we cool it on the physical stuff until he feels comfortable to be uninhibited (nervous sex isn't satisfying for anyone involved). I'm sure I'm not the first or only one to experience this...Help!

I know I need to be patient, and that what he is feeling is totally normal, but its still frustrating to me, and I'd love some advice on how to make him more comfortable. I've told him and educated him about me being on medication and undetectable. I've sent him articles from the AIDSmeds website on serodiscordinant couples and what the true risk (or lack thereof) is. I'm going to bring him into the doctor with me to talk about preP. Is there more I can do? Does anyone have links to scientific journals?

Feeling like a risk is hurtful, and it's bringing up some of the shame and dirtiness I felt when I first was diagnosed.

Offline Cinnamon Dalia

  • Member
  • Posts: 21
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2015, 03:55:59 PM »
Again, I'm surprised no one has replied to this in so many weeks.

First of all, hello, Kelly :)

I can understand your situation. I've been positive for three months, so in no way I am an expert at this, but I am very active, sexually. In my experience, you will always find people who are reluctant and people who aren't. But of course, the situation gets more complicated if you're not simply looking for sex. You seem to really like this guy and it also sounds like you're making a big effort so that he feels comfortable.

You posted this in November, has the situation changed since? What has happened since then? :)

Offline newbie92

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2015, 04:39:26 AM »
Hey there Kelly! It's a wonderful thing you told him before engaging in sex with him. I hope things have changed since you have posted this. Best of luck!


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