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Author Topic: Call me paranoid  (Read 250 times)

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Offline the1andonlybe

  • member
  • member
  • Posts: 1
Call me paranoid
« on: July 16, 2014, 09:13:23 AM »
Hi everyone,

Last Monday, I was intimate with another man who is HIV+. He says he has had the status for 9 years and for most of that time he has had an undetectable viral load. He assured me that he was taking his medication and otherwise healthy.

I'm starting to freak out...

I've spoken directly to a number of healthcare providers and sexual health counsellors and they have all assured me that my risks are low. Those of you who post here will probably agree but I'd still like to get this off my chest.

There was never any anal sex. We made out, he performed oral on me, and I masturbated him. He did produce a bit of pre-cum (I have much more) and at one point he was masturbating both of us (I'm uncircumcised) pressed together which was something I didn't feel comfortable with in regard to fluid transmission, so I stopped him.

I ejaculated, he did not. This will sound horrible, but rather than washing up, we both just fell asleep right after.

So now, one week later, (ironically on the day that I'm getting tested) I have a bad sore throat and ulcers on my tongue. I'm probably being a hypochondriac but I didn't notice the type of test my doctor requested. I hope it's not just the antibody test.

I'm being paranoid... and I know I shouldn't be. I have better odds of winning the lottery (presumably) than contracting HIV this way. I'd like to be able to trust his reassurances that he has an undetectable viral load, but there's something nagging about how he's dealing with me in this that just makes it that much harder to trust him. I have a feeling this is going to be a long 3 months...

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,277
Re: Call me paranoid
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2014, 09:19:55 AM »
Hi everyone,

Last Monday, I was intimate with another man who is HIV+. He says he has had the status for 9 years and for most of that time he has had an undetectable viral load. He assured me that he was taking his medication and otherwise healthy.

I'm starting to freak out...

I've spoken directly to a number of healthcare providers and sexual health counsellors and they have all assured me that my risks are low. Those of you who post here will probably agree but I'd still like to get this off my chest.

There was never any anal sex. We made out, he performed oral on me, and I masturbated him. He did produce a bit of pre-cum (I have much more) and at one point he was masturbating both of us (I'm uncircumcised) pressed together which was something I didn't feel comfortable with in regard to fluid transmission, so I stopped him.

I ejaculated, he did not. This will sound horrible, but rather than washing up, we both just fell asleep right after.

So now, one week later, (ironically on the day that I'm getting tested) I have a bad sore throat and ulcers on my tongue. I'm probably being a hypochondriac but I didn't notice the type of test my doctor requested. I hope it's not just the antibody test.

I'm being paranoid... and I know I shouldn't be. I have better odds of winning the lottery (presumably) than contracting HIV this way. I'd like to be able to trust his reassurances that he has an undetectable viral load, but there's something nagging about how he's dealing with me in this that just makes it that much harder to trust him. I have a feeling this is going to be a long 3 months...
You were never at risk of contracting HIV from oral sex and masturbation. HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.
   
HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child

Offline Jeff G

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  • Posts: 10,795
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Call me paranoid
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2014, 09:21:45 AM »
HIV is sexually transmitted from unprotected anal and vaginal sex so rest assured you did not have a risk for HIV . Getting a blowjob or masturbation is not a risk for HIV .

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!


 


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