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Author Topic: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...  (Read 2556 times)

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Offline thunter34

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After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« on: April 11, 2014, 09:14:10 PM »
...that I will never, never, ever get used to needles.

I have tried and I have tried to get tough about it and quit being such a pussy, but to this day I can't even look in the direction of the arm getting stuck.  I hum.  I hop from foot to foot.  I sometimes even sing.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music!"

Labs suck.  I don't mind swallowing the pills - I don't even think about them anymore, really.  They just are  a part of my morning routine, popped like a Flintstone's Anti-retroviral or something.  I don't mind doctor visits, however more frequent they might be relative to the population at large.  Hey - plenty of people have to face much more frequent and intensive medical visits than I do, and besides...I really like my doc.  I don't mind x-rays, dental visits, depressors on the tongue or lights in the eyes.  And prostate exams - why, with my history a little glove action will scarcely be noticed til you pass the knuckles.

But I cannot stand to be punctured. 

I don't like to be sliced or cut in any fashion, really, but to be punctured directly into a vein just makes me damn near faint.  And today was one of the worst, not on entry but the withdrawal.  It's like she pulled out the wrong way or something.  It still feels like an ouchy.  And to make matters worse, I accidentally looked over and saw the blood.

"The blood!  Oh God, mother!  The blood!"

At least it saves me from being a junky of any sort.  Given my track record for vice, that is a definite plus.

Through whining now.  Carry on.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2014, 09:29:46 PM »
Here's a thought Tim... keep your eyes closed until it's all over.  I imagine it would be hard to become desensitized to needles, as the only way would be to get poked with them more than you already do.  After all the studies, with 10-15 tubes each, needles just don't faze me and then there are all of my tattoos which are also made with multiple needles simultaneously... maybe you could think of that during draws and be grateful they are only using ONE needle.

Joe

Offline thunter34

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2014, 09:42:50 PM »
I think it's my mind's eye that sees the worst, Joe.   ;)

I'm hopeless with the needles, but I'm damn lucky that's the main complaint I'm...ahem...stuck with.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline zach

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2014, 10:24:59 PM »
never look tim, resist the temptation, i don't even look at the vials after the blood's been drawn
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2014, 10:33:52 PM »
I'm the odd man out and like being stuck with needles . It hurts but not bad and I'm kind of fascinated by it .

Hey Tim ... you may be able to get over your fear if you confront it . The next time you are at your doctors office stick your hand down it the sharps container and swirl it around a few times .

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2014, 11:11:18 PM »
Hey Tim ... you may be able to get over your fear if you confront it . The next time you are at your doctors office stick your hand down it the sharps container and swirl it around a few times .

And you wonder why you don't get laid.   ???

Joe

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2014, 11:13:59 PM »
I'm hopeless with the needles, but I'm damn lucky that's the main complaint I'm...ahem...stuck with.

Like we would believe that you have never been poked by things, other than needles.   ;)

Joe

Offline Theyer

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2014, 08:06:30 AM »
For anything painful/scary I also sing , hum for some reason always in prov my own ditties but it works especially if I have to keep still . When I had my shunt fitted it was in Aberdeen Hospital in a true surgery ,theatre , with students viewing , me humming and the dour humourless Doc,s completely ignoring me. For all there religiosity Aberdeen Hospital was the most joyless place . Shudder.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline mikeyb39

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2014, 08:28:17 AM »
You are not alone. They usually have to take my blood while sitting in a recliner of sorts otherwise I get light headed and pass out

I can look at others  blood but not my own
11/02/2010  cd4-251, vl-591000
12/09/2010  started Atripla
02/18/2011  cd4-425, vl-800
06/10/2011  cd4-447, vl-70
10/10/2011  cd4-666, vl-80
01/05/2012  swiched med (prezista,norvir ,isentress, )
02/10/2012  cd4-733, vl-UD  Viread removed
06/10/2012  cd4-614, vl-UD
12/14/2012  cd4-764, vl-UD
09/01/2013  cd4-785, vl-UD
03/06/2014. cd4- 1078, VL-UD
09/05/2014  cd4-850 , VL-UD

Offline thunter34

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2014, 09:38:26 AM »
And you wonder why you don't get laid.   ???

Joe

Thank you, Joe.   8)



Like we would believe that you have never been poked by things, other than needles.   ;)

Joe

Oh, I have.  They're just the only ones I complain about.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline emeraldize

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2014, 10:14:17 AM »
Glad I peeked at this thread. Got a snort over Joe's never get laid comment to Jeff.
Was gladdened to see Jeff is like me and likes to look.  But most important I found this website which might not only help you Thunter but a relative of mine who is off the charts fearful due to a childhood vaccination incident.

http://www.needlephobia.com

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2014, 10:42:32 AM »

  I'm one of those who like to look too.  I do hate it though when they seem to forget that there is a needle in your arm while changing the vials.  I've had nurses who act like they are changing tires at a Nascar race. 
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2014, 10:53:27 AM »
I remember now how Tim turned a little pale when I gave myself insulin injections while we shared a room in Seattle .

I always hate being injected with novacane, it stings and burns far worse than the procedure they are trying to numb you for sometimes . I had to have skin biopsy's where they take a contraption that punches a hole in you and takes a chunk of flesh . I have had them before and its over in an instant, so last time I refused to be numbed for the procedure and my doctor could hardly bring herself to pull the trigger and kept asking me if I was sure .

She also had to put one stitch in to close the wound but it wasn't bad at all really .

And ... the reason I don't get laid is because I'm a hermit and stay home all the time ... it has nothing to do with me being an eccentric old man with impulse control issues on what comes out of my mouth and keyboard . Thats my story and I'm sticking to it .     

Offline thunter34

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2014, 10:56:13 AM »
You watchers are freaks.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline AusShep

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #14 on: April 12, 2014, 11:21:48 AM »
You watchers are freaks.

Sometimes I look away, but sometimes it's fascinating to watch the blood pulse into the tube with every heartbeat.


Offline Buckmark

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #15 on: April 12, 2014, 11:31:03 AM »
Add my name to the list of those who doesn't like needle sticks.  I just look the other way while it's being done, but I still don't like it. 

Fortunately, they tell me I am an easy stick.  8)

Going through chemo, I get labs taken regular so it's become a LOT more routine for me -- at least every week.  Plus, with chemo, I now hate IV's even more than blood draws.  Just the thought of the needle remaining in my arm…   Oy!

When is Miss P going to weigh in on this thread and tell us how he practically draws his own blood and delivers it to a lab mere blocks away from his home? 
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Theyer

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #16 on: April 12, 2014, 12:58:19 PM »
I confess to being a watcher, which made the shunt ,stunt thing placed in the blocked vein off my heart fascinating. I got humour less surgeon to turn the video monitor around so I could watch what he was doing. And it was basically high class plumbing.I asked him if as a child he played with the new computer games, he did,when he was un blocking the fat build up it was vigorous pushing.The end with the camera coming out off the heart down the vein and coming out next to my scrotum had me humming The Dam Busters.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline mitch777

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2014, 01:02:50 PM »
I confess to being a watcher, which made the shunt ,stunt thing placed in the blocked vein off my heart fascinating. I got humour less surgeon to turn the video monitor around so I could watch what he was doing. And it was basically high class plumbing.I asked him if as a child he played with the new computer games, he did,when he was un blocking the fat build up it was vigorous pushing.The end with the camera coming out off the heart down the vein and coming out next to my scrotum had me humming The Dam Busters.

I'm in the no lookie camp and reading this^ makes me feel faint.
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline thunter34

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #18 on: April 12, 2014, 01:28:27 PM »
When is Miss P going to weigh in on this thread and tell us how he practically draws his own blood and delivers it to a lab mere blocks away from his home?

I love you for this.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Theyer

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #19 on: April 12, 2014, 02:12:55 PM »
Add my name to the list of those who doesn't like needle sticks.  I just look the other way while it's being done, but I still don't like it. 

Fortunately, they tell me I am an easy stick.  8)

Going through chemo, I get labs taken regular so it's become a LOT more routine for me -- at least every week.  Plus, with chemo, I now hate IV's even more than blood draws.  Just the thought of the needle remaining in my arm…   Oy!

When is Miss P going to weigh in on this thread and tell us how he practically draws his own blood and delivers it to a lab mere blocks away from his home?

You have good veins Henry, which is neither here nor there at the start off chemo but to still have them as time goes on with the treatment is most impressive.

Miss P has his own Lab, silly .Its next door to his detection agency .
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #20 on: April 12, 2014, 02:18:27 PM »
Silly boys ... Miss P's blood is all ramps and cheese and walks itself to the clinic . 

Offline zach

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #21 on: April 12, 2014, 02:19:19 PM »
this thread has me crying, where is he to defend his "honor"?

gonna slice yall down to size with four fabulous words and swish of his hips
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #22 on: April 12, 2014, 02:28:15 PM »
this thread has me crying, where is he to defend his "honor"?

gonna slice yall down to size with four fabulous words and swish of his hips

He prolly is taking a swish break and will be by shortly .

Offline thunter34

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #23 on: April 12, 2014, 03:08:16 PM »
this thread has me crying, where is he to defend his "honor"?

He's probably eating that ramp crap right now.  Girlfriend has done changed her FB pic to a bunch of ramps.

Silly boys ... Miss P's blood is all ramps and cheese and walks itself to the clinic . 

Or goat guts or whatever the hell else he eats.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Online wolfter

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #24 on: April 12, 2014, 03:10:18 PM »
I too have a terrible fear of needles.  As someone who has been poked more times than a hot male prostitute, you'd think I'd be used to it.  NO!!!!  I always have to be reading something so I can be distracted and I never, ever look.  At the needle or the draw itself.

Wonder if MissP can read and simply not respond?  If so, he's probably over indulging in something I can't articulate.
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline Theyer

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #25 on: April 12, 2014, 05:49:04 PM »
I too have a terrible fear of needles.  As someone who has been poked more times than a hot male prostitute, you'd think I'd be used to it.  NO!!!!  I always have to be reading something so I can be distracted and I never, ever look.  At the needle or the draw itself.

Wonder if MissP can read and simply not respond?  If so, he's probably over indulging in something I can't articulate.

but do dream about ?

I like Miss P foodie post,s plus there is an excitement to eating seasonally. I quiver with anticipation for that first fork off roast pheasant , and as for the Normandy asparagus my Doc has the Valium script ready for the week leading up to it.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2014, 05:55:01 PM by Theyer »
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #26 on: April 12, 2014, 08:48:35 PM »
I lost my fear of needles, when I had to do IV antibiotics for 6 months.  I did two bags a day and the arm port had to be changed weekly.  Usually a home nurse would come to do it, but twice they were unable to come, so I did it myself.  It was different, but mostly mind over matter and the strangest part was it hurt me less, to poke myself, than to have someone else do it.

Joe

Offline AusShep

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #27 on: April 12, 2014, 09:07:04 PM »
I lost my fear of needles, when I had to do IV antibiotics for 6 months.  I did two bags a day and the arm port had to be changed weekly.  Usually a home nurse would come to do it, but twice they were unable to come, so I did it myself.  It was different, but mostly mind over matter and the strangest part was it hurt me less, to poke myself, than to have someone else do it.

Joe

OMG, the actual IV port, not a PICC line extension?  I've dealt with PICCs for a couple of months, no big deal, but I'd probably pass out before I could insert my own IV...

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #28 on: April 12, 2014, 09:13:20 PM »
OMG, the actual IV port, not a PICC line extension?  I've dealt with PICCs for a couple of months, no big deal, but I'd probably pass out before I could insert my own IV...

Not a port, just a picc into my left arm.  I've had so many different ones I sometimes get them confused.

Joe

Offline bocker3

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #29 on: April 12, 2014, 11:01:21 PM »
When I was in college, we had to practice drawing blood on rubber arms at first.  That wasn't so bad - then we had to practice on each other.  Was NOT pleased with that.... I had no issue sticking someone, but I wanted an expert sticking me.
I guess that, combined with drawing blood for 12+ yrs got me over my fear.  I still don't look as the pierce me, but I can watch afterwards.  I also tell them which vein to go for... They all want to use the big rolly one, I tell them to feel for the deeper one, it won't move.  God help them if they miss and start to fish though.

So, Tim - let me know when you need it next...... I'll come stick you.  I've been told I am quite good at it!

M
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline WillyWump

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #30 on: April 12, 2014, 11:11:02 PM »
I don't mind my blood draws, but I cannot look at the viles full of the blood during or after as I get very queasy.

I dont mind the flu shots either.

But torture for me is sticking the 2" needle into my thigh every 2 weeks for my testo injections. Even after 2 years It freaks me out so much that I have to have a drink before I do it. And instead of doing it quick like you are supposed to I ease it in which takes like 5 minutes. Ugh.

-W
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #31 on: April 12, 2014, 11:30:00 PM »
But torture for me is sticking the 2" needle into my thigh every 2 weeks for my testo injections. Even after 2 years It freaks me out so much that I have to have a drink before I do it. And instead of doing it quick like you are supposed to I ease it in which takes like 5 minutes. Ugh.

-W

Will,

I used to give myself shots in the thighs.  What worked for me was to shift all of my weight OFF the leg to get the shot, so the muscles would not tense in the leg getting the shot.  If your muscle is tight, the shot will hurt much more.

Joe

Offline WillyWump

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #32 on: April 12, 2014, 11:44:26 PM »
Will,

I used to give myself shots in the thighs.  What worked for me was to shift all of my weight OFF the leg to get the shot, so the muscles would not tense in the leg getting the shot.  If your muscle is tight, the shot will hurt much more.

Joe

Thanks Joe. I've tried it all ways, and yes it hurts less the way you describe. It's not really the pain that bothers me its that sensation when you hit a nerve and it causes your whole leg to quiver. just freaks me out and I guess ill never get used to it.

-W
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #33 on: April 12, 2014, 11:54:39 PM »
Thanks Joe. I've tried it all ways, and yes it hurts less the way you describe. It's not really the pain that bothers me its that sensation when you hit a nerve and it causes your whole leg to quiver. just freaks me out and I guess ill never get used to it.

-W

Ah yes.  Nicking a nerve is always a good time.   ::)

Joe

Offline zach

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #34 on: April 13, 2014, 12:24:07 AM »
i guess there are only a few junkies in here. i am blessed with veins you just can't miss, and none have ever collapsed. couple fist pumps, a little saline to open up and its no big deal to draw out of my arm, or put an iv in, or back in the dark days i went in at my wrist. if you bend the wrist down, its a straight shot in. the stick isn't what has ever bothered me, its the blood vials, strange because i've had massive bleeding injuries that didn't bother me, but seeing the vials fill up, i find distasteful. when my father was deathly ill i had to maintain his pic line, that was a trip.

be warned, not for the weak or faint of heart

2:00 min mark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbviirWLCQg
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

Offline Theyer

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #35 on: April 13, 2014, 04:45:21 AM »
During chemo I had the chance off discharge from Hospital if I learned to inject into the pinched skin off my stomach.

I had always thought that I could never inject myself, but that needle was in, I pressed down  and awaited my good boy treat.

In a second a life long conviction overturned and dismissed. At home , alone the performance was not so confident . But it was one off those moments , which contributed to me being less certain more open about life.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline BT65

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #36 on: April 13, 2014, 12:43:33 PM »
When I was growing up I never liked shots.  But when cocaine was injected into me, I was in love.  And got to be in love with the routine in itself. after switching to heroin. 

A week before I broke my hip, I had to get some stitches in my hand.  I watched the doctor stitch the skin up, thought it was fascinating. 

I also used to give myself shots of Phenergan in my thighs when I was going through some severe nausea from early meds.  I still have a lump in my left thigh. 

Ah, the memories...  Anyway, needles don't bother me.  However, I could not watch the tatt artist giving me a tatt, unless I was inebriated.  And I have 8 tatts.  And Jeff has seen one that is usually covered up. ;)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #37 on: April 13, 2014, 12:57:47 PM »
I wasn't so fascinated by needles before I injected as a junkie . The first time I could hardly bring myself to do it but after that it was on . I think allot of us that used drugs in this way ends up with the ritual fetish like fascination .

The odd thing is I never feel the urge to abuse again but do get a little happy tingle when I feel the steel of a shot or blood being drawn, I even kind of like injecting with insulin . I was kind of worried when I was prescribed insulin and insisted on preloaded quick pens because I didn't want old fashioned syringes in my house . I am not tempted to use again but why take the chance ... I never want to go back to those awful days .   

Offline thunter34

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #38 on: April 13, 2014, 02:45:00 PM »
I'm so bad that even reading this thread is making me feel like a limp noodle.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #39 on: April 13, 2014, 02:52:41 PM »
I'm so bad that even reading this thread is making me feel like a limp noodle.



So your on pins and needles .

Offline OneTampa

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #40 on: April 13, 2014, 11:41:50 PM »
Needles don't really bother me.

I have, though, taken notice over the years of how the clinic staff draw my blood.

For about 5 years there was this young lady who would stick my arm and I would barely feel a thing.  I was amazed.  I even asked her if she worked some kind of magic.  She had a beautiful smile too.

Conversely, there was this guy who drew blood and it felt like he was pushing a bowling pin up my vein.

Another time I had so many vials filled that I asked the guy if he planned to serve punch later.  You could have bought two Broadway Show tickets with the look on his face.  :D
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline Theyer

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #41 on: April 14, 2014, 05:39:47 AM »
Needles don't really bother me.

I have, though, taken notice over the years of how the clinic staff draw my blood.

For about 5 years there was this young lady who would stick my arm and I would barely feel a thing.  I was amazed.  I even asked her if she worked some kind of magic.  She had a beautiful smile too.

Conversely, there was this guy who drew blood and it felt like he was pushing a bowling pin up my vein.

Another time I had so many vials filled that I asked the guy if he planned to serve punch later.  You could have bought two Broadway Show tickets with the look on his face.  :D

There are definitely individuals whose needle technique is excellent , plus a hieracy off profession, the philoboists { do no know how to spell, they are the people who tour all the Wards 7am , taking the bloods for the day and Cancer nurses first , Nurses , Hospital Doctors and then GP,S.

I am surprised that no one has added the joy off the Blood Gas Test , I always hate that and much singing occurs . Because I like Mitch I will say no more.

Added---what this underlines for me is the Gap between high tech Western Medicine and the fact if you are very ill at some point the procedures,s are medieval .
« Last Edit: April 14, 2014, 05:45:16 AM by Theyer »
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Joe K

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #42 on: April 14, 2014, 04:24:15 PM »
Conversely, there was this guy who drew blood and it felt like he was pushing a bowling pin up my vein.

I hear you on that issue, but the one that really irks me is when I tell them my shallow veins roll and they proceed to try a shallow vein rather than one deeper.  I will stop them at this point and repeat that my shallow veins WILL ROLL, BECAUSE THEY SEE YOU COMING AND NOTHING YOU DO WILL ALLOW YOU TO PIERCE THEM.  Some of them will ignore me and of course they fail.  Before the second try, I warn them that this is not baseball, so two strikes and you are out.

I have to give this speech EACH AND EVERY TIME, even to nurses who have known me for years.  Sadly, the only ones who listen, are those who have struck out previously.

Joe

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #43 on: April 14, 2014, 06:43:29 PM »
Speaking of needles, I grabbed the wrong insulin pen and injected 4 times the normal dose and had to call the paramedics to my house today . Whoops . 

Offline drewm

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #44 on: April 14, 2014, 06:54:18 PM »
...that I will never, never, ever get used to needles.

And prostate exams - why, with my history a little glove action will scarcely be noticed til you pass the knuckles.

But I cannot stand to be punctured. 


AMEN! Something about the needle in the vein is rough for me as well. As for the occasional finger in the hole, if it's not a fist, it ain't nothin!  ;)
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline BT65

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #45 on: April 15, 2014, 06:51:08 AM »
Speaking of needles, I grabbed the wrong insulin pen and injected 4 times the normal dose and had to call the paramedics to my house today . Whoops . 

I have seen murder stories about people offing someone by injecting a huge dose of Insulin,  the person getting the injection was not diabetic. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Online Jeff G

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #46 on: April 15, 2014, 07:09:29 AM »
I have seen murder stories about people offing someone by injecting a huge dose of Insulin,  the person getting the injection was not diabetic. 

I was none the worse for it except for the embarrassment of it . My friends and I have a saying when you get sick and it goes ... OH WOW sorry, can I have all your stuff if something happens .   

Offline zach

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #47 on: April 15, 2014, 10:17:14 AM »
helium, quick, clean, quiet, peaceful, final, leaves little trace.

murder 101 with prof zach
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

Offline Kardean

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #48 on: April 15, 2014, 10:53:01 AM »
helium, quick, clean, quiet, peaceful, final, leaves little trace.

murder 101 with prof zach


My preferred method!!!

When I tested positive in 2008.... offing myself was my only thought.  I spent the next 9 months doing nothing but preparing to end my life.  I learned of the "Final Exit" method with helium and prepared my kit.  I even bought the industrial size tank to be sure.

Finally, I started seeking medical advice.  I guess I really wasn't ready to die and wasn't sick or anything so I figured I should first check to see just how bad a shape I was in.  Turned out my immune was pretty well intact with high cd4 count and moderately low vl.

Hence to say, I chose to stay.  However I still have my kit when or if need be.  ;)

Offline zach

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Re: After All These Years, I Finally Acknowledge...
« Reply #49 on: April 15, 2014, 12:37:35 PM »
i dont advise it, life is awesome, why opt out? blowjobs! reason enough to live happy
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

 


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