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Author Topic: Hanging by a VERY thin thread...  (Read 1121 times)

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Offline prismatic

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Hanging by a VERY thin thread...
« on: May 24, 2014, 05:47:06 PM »
Hello all!

First off, I would like to introduce myself...I like to go by the name JC. I'm 23 years old, and I currently reside in the Big Apple (NYC). I found out about this forum a few days ago, and so I decided to join because you all seem extremely helpful towards one another. *Mods, if you feel the need to move this thread elsewhere, it is no problem at all, please feel free to do so. I am just in a very scary place mentally, and I figured I would post it here because I may be at a high risk.

Well, where do I start? On May 14th, I hooked up with a guy who we'll call "Matt" that evening. We barebacked 2 times, he topped, and I bottomed. He came inside me, and there was no bleeding. Matt tells me that we have a mutual friend in common named "Chris", and I brush it off because then again it's a small gay world after all. Now, before Matt and I met, I asked him if he's been tested. He told me that he was Negative, and that he was tested on the 8th. However, something told me to ask him once more face to face on the night we hooked up...so I did. He told me he was tested negative, and even "offered" to show me the paper demonstrating his results. I neglected (stupid of me).

Any who, it is now Saturday the 17th, and I go back to Matt's place because I left a few of my things at his apartment. One thing lead to another, and bam after a few drinks, we had bareback sex twice (again). As I stepped out of his place, I started walking and I just had this weird "hunch" to turn around, and I did. I was a block away, turned around and saw that Chris boy going up to Matt's place. That's when I knew something just wasn't sitting right and I had to talk to someone about it. So I rang up my friend "Rob", who is also close friends with Chris. After I briefly explained my situation, he says he's free and able to talk so I take the subway to his place. Once I arrive, he had a worried look on his face...he tells me that apparently Chris was tested positive for HIV back in April, and that allegedly it was from this guy Matt (the same guy I saw). My stomach did so many knots, I was having trouble keeping count, and not to mention my whole life started flashing before my eyes. Rob told me to get my stuff and that we would be heading to a clinic to get a prescription for PEP.

We're in the waiting room and it all of sudden hit me, they say that once you've been potentially exposed, PEP treatment must be done within 72 hours...we were in the waiting room and it's been 73/74 hours. Rob told me that there is a possibility that the doctor won't prescribe me the treatment. Alas, after explaining my story to the doctor, he decides to give me the Truvada/Isentress treatment ASAP. I took in my 74/75th hour. I have never been more scared in my life!

I did the big mistake of letting my emotions get in the way and I sent a massive text AND email to the guy Matt. I basically told him that he was an awful person for lying and telling me he was negative. He tells me that he's negative and has no idea what I'm talking about. He winds up calling me, and starts yelling. He tells me that I've gone absolutely mad, calls me a f*cking f*g for mentioning that Chris guy and his status. He ALSO says that he knows he's negative, he'll get tested again, and if he comes out positive, he's going to sue me. That's right. Sue me. He also says he would sue me if I mention his name to clinics and what not (which I haven't done so) This whole week has been an absolute nightmare. I've been crying non-stop, and it's only week one with PEP.

So, my question to you guys is: do you think there's a chance for PEP to potentially work given my circumstances? Or am I pretty much infected? The doctor seemed confident, but as some of us may know, a doctor's word isn't enough at times. I have a follow-up appointment with him in about 2 weeks. What I also can't seem to process is how someone can be so mentally sick like this guy Matt who has gone to so many extremes to deny that he's positive. I've blocked his email and phone number. Should I be scared of this alleged lawsuit? I've been told that when people test positive, they are notified to the state by the health board? or something like that; I'm not sure I've heard of such a thing in NYC, but I could be wrong?

 I apologize for the massive post, but I also wanted to take this opportunity to vent. I'm also trying to mentally prepare myself for the new lifestyle that I may be living after these 4 weeks of treatment, and it's not as easy as I thought.  :-\

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Hanging by a VERY thin thread...
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2014, 06:22:31 PM »
Pep is effective if taken within 72hrs but thats the best guess so its certain to offer protection even at 74-7 give or take a few hours . Whats done is done and all you can do now is take the meds and test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and last dose of pep and again at 12 weeks to confirm the results .

We always assume the other partner is positive when we do theses assessments . You may never know one way or the other if the guy is poz or not but at this point whats done is done and you have no reason to contact him again and continue with the drama .

Not every exposure results in a transmission so there is no way to give odds on your situation . Just take your meds and test at the appropriate time .

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Offline prismatic

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: Hanging by a VERY thin thread...
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2014, 07:08:36 PM »
Hey there, Jeff

Thanks for replying! Yeah, I agree about the whole "what's done is done" part. Despite him saying that he might sue me, I've blocked all forms of contact because it was adding more anxiety to this stressful situation. The waiting game will probably be the hardest thing considering Week 1 felt like it took forever. I'll definitely be taking this time to gather as much information about HIV and treatments as I possibly can. Everything just seems unreal at the moment still.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2014, 07:12:44 PM by prismatic »

Offline Jeff G

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  • Member
  • Posts: 16,854
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Hanging by a VERY thin thread...
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2014, 07:20:35 PM »
It does no good to ever ask a persons HIV status because they may be in the window period or assume they are negative ... or simple be untruthful .

If you insist on protected sex than it does not matter what a persons HIV status is . Avoiding getting infected with HIV is your responsibllity and yours alone when it comes down to it . When a person ask another what their HIV status is in order to have unprotected sex its called serosorting . Serosorting only works if you already have HIV, so its ok to ask but never let that sway you from protecting yourself with condoms for anal and vaginal sex or you will end up living with HIV and trust, you do not want that  . 


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