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Author Topic: please help me.  (Read 2267 times)

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Offline loveshield23

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  • Posts: 4
  • Hi I am 23
please help me.
« on: January 10, 2014, 09:08:53 AM »
Hi i am 23, from Manila, and just this afternoon I was found to have HIV. I practically spent the whole afternoon crying my eyes out. Honestly the result came as a shock. I was trembling when I was going through the test result. I wasnt prepared for it. There were only two occasions that I engaged in unprotected sex and the only reason why I took the test was because I was just dared by a friend if I have the balls to take it. That was two months ago.I never experienced any signs whatsoever. I work out at least three times a week so im in top shape, I easily bounce back from any sickness without need of medication, etc.

 I do not know who to talk to. I am taking up law in Ateneo and I am almost in my senior year. I do not know how my family will take this news. I do not even know if I should tell them. I am from Tacloban City i am not sure how my family will react to this considering that it has just been two months since Haiyan/Yolanda. And since i am studying full time, i am not sure if i can afford the medication on my own. Please help me i need people to talk to. I already wrote my family a love letter in case I die soon and or I kill myself.

I have always been a role model to everyone around me for so many reasons. I taught street children in Tacloban since i was only 16 and had always been an academic achiever as far as my memory can recall. A month ago i started to organize a few number of people mostly human rights advocates to start up a support group for troubled youth. This is very unfair. I feel that everything I aspired and worked for got shattered to pieces this afternoon. Please help me I need the right people to talk to.  :'( :'( :'(
Loveshield23

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: please help me.
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2014, 09:20:22 AM »
Welcome to the forums, LS.

If you've only tested positive on a rapid test, then you need to have further bloodwork done to have it confirmed. This means another antibody test, plus a Western Blot test. Until you have had a positive result on both tests, you cannot be considered to be hiv positive.

False positives can and do happen on the rapid tests.

If you didn't make a follow-up appointment when you had your result today, you need to do that now.

You'd be wise to not tell anyone just yet. Wait until you've had the confirmatory tests done.

Until you have had confirmation one way or the other, please only post in this thread. Thank you for your cooperation on this point.

Hang in there in the meantime. Even if you are actually hiv positive, treatment today is very effective. You'll be ok.

Good luck.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: please help me.
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2014, 09:22:42 AM »
Welcome to the Forums .

Have you had a western blot confirm the positive test ?

I have been living with HIV for 30 years and if I can do it you can too, so you are not going to die any time soon unless you get hit by a bus . We have a great little online community here and we are living and loving just the same as HIV negative folks so take heart, your life is going to go on and great things await you . It does get better in time . 

Offline loveshield23

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  • Posts: 4
  • Hi I am 23
Re: please help me.
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2014, 09:30:42 AM »
Thank you sir. I double checked the test results and it was also tested with Western Blot 2.2 and it says positive  :'(
Loveshield23

Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: please help me.
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2014, 09:34:18 AM »
Thank you sir. I double checked the test results and it was also tested with Western Blot 2.2 and it says positive  :'(

I was around your age when I was diagnosed and after I adjusted and accepted it life did go on . Its understandable how you are feeling at this point, most all of us have that in common so you are not alone .   

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: please help me.
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2014, 09:45:37 AM »
I am sorry you got this bad news.

I want to tell you something - the sooner you can sort of get with this, the better: HIV has no morals it is a virus.  Someone even more altruistic than the Dalai Lama or more hateful than Kim Jong-un can get HIV.  People get HIV from unsafe sex or maybe from shared needles or maybe I guess a really botched medical service.  Someone can get HIV from 1 act of unsafe sex and another can have a 1000 partners and not get HIV.
Having HIV is a nuisance and a pain in the neck and causes a lot of challenges, so in that respects, it is "unfair" - but HIV has absolutely nothing to say about your value to yourself and how you contribute (or not) to society around you.

Also, once you get the funding for the medical surveillance and eventual treatment figured out, you are not going to die.  You're in college right? So, smart person, you can read about what its like to live with HIV now. Talk to people locally, too.  It's fine to let the drama carry you away for the moment but the sooner you get rational and knowledgeable about living with HIV, the better. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline loveshield23

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  • Hi I am 23
Re: please help me.
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2014, 09:56:48 AM »
Thank you. Maybe I just need time  to sort this out. I hope people see this condition the way you or I do.
Loveshield23

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: please help me.
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2014, 10:10:08 AM »
Of course you need time!
Meanwhile try to carry on business as usual.  Go to your classes. Get your degree. Continue your social service. 
Tell your family when you are ready.  Look around you to see what face-to-face info and support you can find about what you'll need to deal with the HIV. 
There may never be a need for all the world to know you are HIV+.  Meaning when you do you career and/or your social work. That info may be up to you to control.  Eventually yeah, your partner, or friends, or family, as you find necessary.
Finally sounds like you want to do a lot of good for he world.  Look at it this way, say you become a public advocate, or human rights worker, professionally. Do you really think people you are helping are going to give you shit about being HIV+?  If so, whose loss is that going to be? Theirs!!!!
« Last Edit: January 10, 2014, 10:24:39 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline MadisonTeddy

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  • Posts: 70
Re: please help me.
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2014, 10:14:55 AM »
Good morning my friend...Yes, it is a shock to receive such news...for EVERYONE here in this group, I would guess...I am newly diagnosed, one month and I can tell you, listen to these people that reach out to you...Engage in educating yourself on this virus...Don't beat your self up...You will live, more then likely, a full and complete life...That bus may get you before HIV. Don't read to much prior to 2010. Treatment and medicines have come a long way in a short time. You are young, healthy, educated and if you listen to your Dr. and to other input on living a healthy life you will be around for the cure IMHO. Reach out to the sane advice and guidance you will find here and in your home country. Hang in there. The first couple of weeks are sometimes scarey and lonely, but LESS so here! You will be OK!!!  Madison Teddy

Offline loveshield23

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  • Posts: 4
  • Hi I am 23
Re: please help me.
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2014, 01:01:15 PM »
Thank you guys for the encouragement it makes me feel better. But to be honest at this point I still do not see any positivity on being positive. I spent the whole day crying every now and then. I was very emotional and very sentimental. And very sensitive too.  I was looking for hiv movies or videos that i might find inspiring but i saw aids videos instead.  Not encouraging at all. It's funny though.  All of a sudden i was craving for Jack Daniels. I haven't  even drunk any alcohol except wine occasionally  in the past three years. Are these normal?

On monday, I have an appointment with my doctor who was referred by someone from a support group in the city to run labs. Btw,  in case you are wondering,  no i did not get myself drunk.  Thats just not my way of coping with anything. If there's  something I'm very sure I'm good at,  it's  keeping my head straight.  I want to deal with this properly and appropriately.

I am very thankful for your very kind words by the way.  Thank you. You are very nice people.
Loveshield23

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: please help me.
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2014, 05:59:39 PM »
I don't think you should look at movies about HIV.   If I can think of one that really is positive and hopeful I'll give you a suggestion.

Its normal to want to self-medicate when anyone deals with a shock or a big stressor.

If you are not a partier, I wouldn't use this as an occasion to drink alone, with nobody knowing what sorrows you are drowning... 

You can try to go through the motions of the ways you usually have fun and decompress. Eventually they will work again.  What are they?
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline MadisonTeddy

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  • Posts: 70
Re: please help me.
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2014, 06:37:51 PM »
"If there's  something I'm very sure I'm good at,  it's  keeping my head straight.  I want to deal with this properly and appropriately."

Well there is your positive!!!  Just keep that attitude!!!  If you clear all the shit away, the truth is: We have a virus that is treatable.....All of the other issues are how you want to see them and deal with them...I don't mean to offend any one but that is the bottom line for me.... You will be fine, especially when you start your treatment...One pill a day...Life can stay as normal as you allow it to be...Take care..Madison

Offline neb_top

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  • Posts: 8
  • lts and alone
Re: please help me.
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2014, 07:31:04 PM »
hello newly poz; i turned poz 25 years 12/2013.  keep chin up and keep fighting.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2014, 07:38:46 PM by neb_top »

Offline ShadesOfGrey80

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  • Posts: 26
Re: please help me.
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2014, 09:36:06 AM »
Hey there buddy,

Completely understand how you feel. I have only found 2 weeks ago and confirmed the results yesterday. It is shocking and depressing but life must go on. Like everyone has suggested, read up on what to expect and don't rush into any big changes in life right now. Go to your doctor/ specialist and get more information. Take your time and try to understand that this condition will not really affect your daily routines. Talk to people online or in a support group for guidance and experience sharing. Prepare yourself of what might come.

Take care of yourself and don't blame anyone, especially yourself. Focus on your life as you always have.

Best of luck. Just know that there are so many of us who have also just found out and are working on this just like you. You're not alone.


 


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