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Author Topic: Newly positive with family issues  (Read 1219 times)

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Offline eternity_07

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Newly positive with family issues
« on: December 28, 2013, 01:33:47 PM »
Hi, I just test positive two weeks ago. I'm okay with it for the most part, well I'm at least trying to keep a positive face and outlook for friends and family. But, my problem is my parents. I feel as if I should have told them, because they don't know what to do with themselves. I don't have time to argue with them about who gave it to me or how did I get it. I'm still trying to get used to the idea that I have it. I feel like they're adding more stress to the situation. I don't know what to do, any advice?
Also, anyone know how the care process is supposed to go, what it's like.....good insurances and meds to take?

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,240
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Newly positive with family issues
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2013, 03:56:39 PM »
Hi, I just test positive two weeks ago. I'm okay with it for the most part, well I'm at least trying to keep a positive face and outlook for friends and family. But, my problem is my parents. I feel as if I should have told them, because they don't know what to do with themselves. I don't have time to argue with them about who gave it to me or how did I get it. I'm still trying to get used to the idea that I have it. I feel like they're adding more stress to the situation. I don't know what to do, any advice?
Also, anyone know how the care process is supposed to go, what it's like.....good insurances and meds to take?

I assume you mean you should NOT have told them...
Well the cat is out of the bag. There are advantages in the long run to your parents knowing. Despite the present burdens. Don't worry so much about them, just do what you need to do to educate yourself. Tell them you will inform them along the way as you learn about HIV and as you learn about your own current health..
If you are pretty sure you got HIV from sex, you can say when they ask, how did you get it? "from sex, like most everyone else in the world, and for the moment I don't want to discuss details with you."
What county do you live in?  Did the place that diagnosed you give you any printed literature? If not, find some and read it and if its good info, give copies to your parents, too.
A good ID doc should tell you at the first consultation how HIV is a "manageable" condition and the prognosis is extremely well research and very very good - near normal life span. This is the information your parents need to hear, too.


Yes of course you will need resources to pay for the medical visits and eventual treatment.  Its very important you address these issues: of getting a doc you like and getting your finances in line, secure.  That's SO much more important than who gave it to you (do you even know?) etc etc etc.

Try to reduce the drama they might be feeling by being matter-of-fact about information, and rational and simple and clear about adjustments going forward, that allow anyone to live well with HIV.   Ultimately thats the state of mind you will want to be in and your first priority is to get there yourself.  Remember your parents drama is theirs and you can only do so much to lesson it, if they insist on being heavy about things.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2013, 04:00:02 PM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline xinyuan

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Re: Newly positive with family issues
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2013, 04:53:48 PM »
Hi, I just test positive two weeks ago. I'm okay with it for the most part, well I'm at least trying to keep a positive face and outlook for friends and family. But, my problem is my parents. I feel as if I should have told them, because they don't know what to do with themselves. I don't have time to argue with them about who gave it to me or how did I get it. I'm still trying to get used to the idea that I have it. I feel like they're adding more stress to the situation. I don't know what to do, any advice?
Also, anyone know how the care process is supposed to go, what it's like.....good insurances and meds to take?

Sorry about your recent result, but welcome.

First, have you been confirmed positive by Western blot? Have you done the viral load (VL) testing, the final confirmation test?

If you don't feel mentally ready yet, don't tell them.  If you yourself are still coping with it, you will unlikely be ready to help others like your parents to cope with the news. Be careful whom you tell. As mecch stated, if you tell someone, the cat's out of the bag.

One exception: I would tell only those who you are sure will help you at this stage, not drain you. You are going to need the emotional and social support you can get. If you have one that you can afford or have access to, consider a counselor. Otherwise, consider a support group.

Worry about yourself, first. Worry about picking yourself back up. Like in any crisis situation, make sure you yourself are on solid ground before helping / involving others.

Otherwise, mecch is right. An infectious disease (ID) doctor, or one who specializes in HIV, should hopefully be involved in your care by now. Most docs will push to start therapies (antiretroviral therapies [ART's] - the term HAART is officially no longer endorsed in guidelines) if your VL pushes >100,000 or your CD4 goes <500. Some may push for ART's, regardless.

The therapies nowadays aren't as bad as in the past. Several need to be taken only once a day, and some use only one pill a day! Which meds will depend on your region, resistance pattern, etc. Your doctor will help you figure that out. You'll have more frequent doctor visits and blood draws initially. But once things get under control, those will hopefully get spaced out to every 3-6 months.

If insurance is an issue, then it'll depend on the country. In the US, there are AIDS Drug Assistance Programs (ADAP) and some pharmaceutical companies have coupon card programs to help with costs.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2013, 05:09:34 PM by xinyuan »

 


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