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Author Topic: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids  (Read 1603 times)

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Offline viewer1977

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
  • clean shaven!!!
you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« on: October 28, 2006, 03:43:33 PM »
:)
I have lived with aids now for 11 years, and yes, I watched Magic Johnson on TV when he was on the Oprah show.
one of the reasons he is doing so well, he does have a wife, he is not lonely like most of us are now.
I was married for 20 years and as soon as my wife heard i had hiv, she asked for a divorce, what a bummer.
but the point of this is, why do others with and without hiv/aids tend to vear away from us?
I have a personal on just about every hiv dating site and all i get is rejected and i think part of it is, i have aids now and i have heard from one lady, she was afraid to be with me, because i have lived with it for so long, and half of my life is already gone and she didn't want to take that chance.
i feel for her , but that tells me the same thing one of the ladies on the show said, "rejection is direction"
the woman that told me this is a friend on the computer , but that's all now.
but trying to find a date with a woman with hiv is almost impossible, most women want admit  they have hiv , even to the men on here that tells them they have it and all they are looking for is, intimacy.
people, we need to ban together and realize we all need some sort of support , and the depression can kill you quicker than anything, and loneliness will too! Donnie



[attachment deleted by admin]
LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!
viewer1977@aol.com

Offline tryingforhope

  • Member
  • Posts: 64
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2006, 03:48:21 PM »
Donnie hang in there. So sorry you are going through this alone.

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2006, 03:58:48 PM »
:)
.
but trying to find a date with a woman with hiv is almost impossible, most women want admit  they have hiv , even to the men on here that tells them they have it and all they are looking for is, intimacy.



~~Donnie,

I just started putting my pic and profile up on the dating site. It is harder for me to be open about being poz with a neg person because of past dramas I have gone through. On the Poz site there was a neg who responded to my ad. I have had some hesitation with him because even though he knows I am poz and is in the health care field, he says that if we ever got together and knew we were going to be with each other that he would not wear a condom. Of course, the first thing that popped in my head was Oh God/dess, a bug catcher. I talked to him about how I felt but he says that me being poz is not a concern for him...WTF? Or in other words, is not worried about being infected.

When I put my profile on here, it was to try to get to know another poz person and see how it goes. I have a hard time finding someone poz because in most profiles that I have seen, the men are gay. So, I no longer search the ads but if someone sends me a message, I respond. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline viewer1977

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
  • clean shaven!!!
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2006, 04:13:49 PM »
I would love to hear from anyone with a comment to this post.
Donnie- viewer1977@aol.com
LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!
viewer1977@aol.com

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2006, 04:27:19 PM »
Hi Donnie,

I read your post with interest since I have known loneliness too, both before HIV was even heard of and since testing positive.

I've been Poz 18 years and counting, and I've learned that yes there are people who cannot handle the thought of even being around someone Poz, but you know what? I truly believe these are shallow people with nothing much to contribute anyway, so I doubt I'm missing much by not having them in my life. On the other hand, there are people who are not so shallow or fearful based on ignorance or misinformation or whatever it is. Those are the folks I value -- friends I call my "chosen" family.

I met niether of my long-term love interests through dating sites, but simply by living my life and our paths happening to cross. Both of them were and are HIV-negative, I might add.

Keep the faith Donnie. There are still people in this big wide world waiting to cross paths with you. One of them could turn out to be that special someone with whom you'll connect.

Get out in the world and live. Don't fret away your life. You may have AIDS but you're still here. Volunteer for an organization you are interested in supporting. Join a discussion group. Do anything.

Also, you can share your life with others here. Lots of people here you probably have things in common with besides HIV. Friendships come from the most unexpected places sometimes.

Please don't allow loneliness to rule your life, Donnie. You still have a lot of living left to do.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2006, 04:35:01 PM »
Donnie,

WELCOME!

Hang in there!

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2006, 07:04:49 PM »
Hi Donnie.  You are doing one thing right for sure, putting your ad. on every hiv site you can find.  By keeping the door open, you are allowing someone to walk in and take a look around.  Speaking as a gay man, I have found that the door being open doesn't guarantee someone walking in however.  :)  Or someone may be in a rush and you aren't moving fast enough.  Or you appear to be moving too quickly.  Or it's easier to stand along and wall and stare across at everyone from a safe distance. 

As noted above, another right thing to do is go out the door yourself, meet people, find people who share your interests.  You may or may not meet someone for more intimate things this way, but it will break the loneliness.  Best, Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2006, 07:52:28 PM »
Hey Donnie,

It is unfortunate that there is a "stigma" which is associated with HIV/AIDS. With many other diseases there is no "stigma" which is associated with it. When you are getting ready to date someone, and you tell them that you have high blood pressure, they are not going to run off and reject you in the process because there is not "stigma" that is associated with it.

It is unfortunate that there are many who choose to take the "flight" rather than staying there to help you and "fight". It comes in all different forms. No one deserves to be alone. We all need to have that support system to carry us along the way on this roller coaster ride we call life.

There is someone out there for you and each and every one of us.

I wish to extend to you a warm WELCOME here at the forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.

We have a great group of Real people who will listen as well as answer you. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time.

In the interim,eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy and avoid processed foods, saturated and trans fats. This will also help you maintain a healthy weight.

Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes.

Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2006, 09:03:17 PM »
Hi Donnie

Welcome to the family...I agree with Eldon, there is someone out there for you, but it can take time to find the right one..so hang in there and stay around, you will find a lot of support from the guys here.

Take care
hugs
Jan :)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline al

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: you shouldn't hgave to be alone, just because of aids
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2006, 09:39:14 PM »
Donnie,     I,m new at this but I am living with HIV and alone. I have a very good family, and spent most of my time with them. I wish I had a grout to go to so I can talk about the problems and share my thoughts. I don't no where to go. Stay in there we are not alone just need to fine the way from people that have gone before us.     Al       or    Alice
« Last Edit: October 29, 2006, 09:40:53 PM by al »

 


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