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Author Topic: My dating experiences so far...  (Read 484 times)

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Offline gavelkind

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
My dating experiences so far...
« on: December 18, 2013, 08:14:08 PM »
Since converting early this year, I don't want to date a neg guy. As a result, when I get hit on by a guy who is neg, I start to lose interest. Which apparently only makes me more desirable. Now that I'm poz, I feel like handsome and nice neg guys are always trying to get it on with me and even date me. I tell them I'm not a dating type and they all think that makes me some humble bad boy looking to be redeemed. It's like no matter what stupid reason I give, it's always the "right" thing to say. Sometimes, I'll agree to go out with them and the dates will be great. Sometimes, I sleep with them without disclosing (condoms of course) but then I get guilty after and push them away which of course only makes me more attractive. I swear I never got hit on this much back when I was still neg. Ugh. On the other hand...

I want to date a poz guy. As a result when I see a profile with a handsome guy admitting to being poz, I instantly message him asking him how he is and whatnot. They'll reply back interested and at one point I'll tell them I'm poz too. After that it seems they either lose interest in me quickly (like they're a size queen bottom and I just told them it's short and skinny!), or in the few cases when they are interested they want nothing more but sex even though all their profiles say looking for a relationship. A friend of mine told me many poz guys only want to date neg guys, kinda like how so many gay men want to date the "straight" guy as a way of proving their worth, and was just curious as to the experiences of others. Bummed I seem to have such bad luck trying to date other + guys.  Feels like dating is all about perfecting the art of giving off the not interested/unavailable vibe while still being interested/available...
2/13- Diagnosed
3/13- CD4,  885/39%   VL, 135,542
5/13- CD4,  867/46%   VL, 553
6/13- CD4,  720/42%   VL, 32
7/13- CD4,  1095/36%  VL, <20
10/13- CD4, 884/47%   VL, 42
1/14- CD4,  1165/48%  VL, 31
2/14- CD4,  1214/46%  VL, <20
5/14- CD4,  1715/49%  VL, <20

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,904
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: My dating experiences so far...
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2013, 09:39:33 PM »
A friend of mine told me many poz guys only want to date neg guys, kinda like how so many gay men want to date the "straight" guy as a way of proving their worth, and was just curious as to the experiences of others.

That hasn't been my experience in the past two decades, no. Maybe you're friend isn't a great resource for this issue.

Maybe the guys who write "HIV+" in their profiles are turned off that you don't have it openly written in yours. They may not be turned on with the prospect of dating someone newly positive that isn't yet completely comfortable with their status. Ask your friend what he thinks of this theory.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,263
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: My dating experiences so far...
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2013, 06:19:58 AM »
Embarras de richesses and you don't know what to do.
Since you are peeling off the guys who want you because you aren't interested in them. Yeah it an effective technique, aloof, hard-to-get, but its not going to get you bf. 

Is it so very important the partner be HIV+.  Why not tell some of these guys WHO DO WANT YOU, that you are HIV+ and see if they are still in the game. Some will be.  Then keep dating and see what pans out.   Also, some of these guys might ALSO disclose to you, when you disclose to them.

You could do the above and still keep your eyes open for an HIV+ who wants you, if on should come along.  Meanwhile.... you might fall in love with an HIV- person.

When I was HIV- and a guy told me he was HIV+, and this was the 80s and 90s, I took it into consideration but it wasn't cause to WANT the person more, or to NOT WANT the person.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2013, 06:22:19 AM by mecch »
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

 


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