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Author Topic: Grieving again...  (Read 1094 times)

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Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Grieving again...
« on: December 15, 2013, 08:20:03 AM »
..and it's not even related to HIV this time.

A resident that stays in the room across the hall from Katie, died the other day and it hit me harder than I thought it would.

He was a 'fall risk' who was always to have some sort of walker if out of his room, and he was always at the front door upon my arrival, waving and shaking my hand and following me down the hall.

His alzheimer's has progressed over the past 6 months, and he would be confused and unintelligible, but he still always would see me, smile and come shake my hand.

I would sometimes have to escort him out of Katie's room and back to his own room and...

one day his bed was made and the room empty. He had died in his sleep.

I had just been helping him with his runny nose the night before. He couldn't talk but could point and would come to me to help with his nose..and now he's gone.

I had forgotten how quickly and how indiscriminate death is.
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline intaglio

  • Member
  • Posts: 184
  • Doesn't have to pay for vowels
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2013, 10:29:09 AM »
I'm sorry for your loss. (Gad, that really doesn't convey well in this situation, does it?)

That person held value in your life. They brightened your day and connected with you. To feel loss at their absences speaks well for both them and you.


Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2013, 05:07:29 PM »
I'm sorry for your loss. (Gad, that really doesn't convey well in this situation, does it?)....


It does , in a way. I did feel angry that he was gone.
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline mikeyb39

  • Member
  • Posts: 938
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2013, 11:30:59 AM »
sorry for the loss, even-though I don't know who Katie is or the situation.
11/02/2010  cd4-251, vl-591000
12/09/2010  started Atripla
02/18/2011  cd4-425, vl-800
06/10/2011  cd4-447, vl-70
10/10/2011  cd4-666, vl-80
01/05/2012  swiched med (prezista,norvir ,isentress, )
02/10/2012  cd4-733, vl-UD  Viread removed
06/10/2012  cd4-614, vl-UD
12/14/2012  cd4-764, vl-UD
09/01/2013  cd4-785, vl-UD
03/06/2014. cd4- 1078, VL-UD
09/05/2014  cd4-850 , VL-UD

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,038
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2013, 11:42:44 AM »
Very sorry for your loss. It is shocking when people who are a regular part of your life are suddenly gone.

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,274
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2013, 06:07:09 PM »
Sorry for your loss.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,260
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2013, 10:28:07 PM »
It's good that you helped him when you were there. He appreciated it even if he couldn't say it.

One lady at my grandmother's last residence always stared at me, until I smiled at her one day, and after that she always beamed at me like I was a movie star. I made it a point to beam at her every time I saw her after that. I hope she thought Rock Hudson was in the house.

Online Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2013, 08:24:29 AM »
I leased and maintained tropical plants for a living and one of my accounts was a nursing home . Every time I was there it was clear there were many lonely seniors so I would make the effort to smile and say hello . I finally changed the maintenance day to the last stop every Friday so that I could spend extra time there . The staff got a kick out of the trail of wheel chairs and walkers that followed me around, I called them my aluminum army and we all joked about it .   

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,914
Re: Grieving again...
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2013, 08:52:09 AM »
People are lonely and in need of some simple kindness. You guys are great...
Andy Velez

 


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